Fat at my wedding

It is really about just changing, not going on a diet for a specific event for me. Don't get me wrong, I have always had goals, like when I started in Jan 2011 it was a cruise I was going on in August of 2011. After that is way to be a certain weight by my birthday, then it was a certain size before my vacation this year. But the underlying theme has ALWAYS been about changing my life. Not dieting, and eventually it wasn't even so much about the # on the scale, I just want to be fit, I want to get to a certain body fat %. But seeing my body change, wearing things I never would have worn before, and doing things I never would have done before I guess it what keeps me motivate.

You CAN do it, I did,and if I did anyone can, seriously.

See, that's the problem with ultra-restrictive 'diets'. You deprive yourself so much that you feel miserable or being punished and that you're ready at the drop of a hat to find excuses to binge on fast food.

Moderation is key imo. Make healthy choices. You can still go eat your comfort foods but a) eat half a portion b) substitute the really high calorie/fat ingredients with something lighter c) exercise to compensate.

Feel like having ice cream? Great! But pick the slow/double churned, but limit yourself. Want chips? Sure! Go eat one serving's worth, or get the rice cake chips instead.

It doesn't have to be all boiled chicken and steamed broccoli. You can have normal foods. Just be smart about it.

I was a fat bride too, but this year is our 10 year anniversary and my husband and I are renewing our vows so this time I get to be a "skinnier bride". Don't give up, just look at this as a starting point for the rest of your life and someday have a vow renewal as a Skinny Bride!

I say: enjoy the wedding. Be the beautiful happy woman you are.

And as for how do people do it? It's like anything else: You make a rock solid decision. I know a lot of bad stuff came your way, and I know you are beating yourself up about it, but I guarentee you did better taking care of yourself than you would have if you hadn't made the decision.

For example, you didn't gain weight.

And you took care of your loved ones in times of stress.

Sounds to me like you slayed it!

I am getting married in 7 weeks and it looks like I am going to be a fat bride. I joined back in November with the BEST of intentions to lose as much weight as possible before my July wedding. I did so good at first I lost 12 pounds and 2 inches. I haven’t lost a pound since. It's all my fault, first I lost my job, then we had to move into a house we had rented out and the tenant TRASHED the place, and last but not least my mom almost died and the hospital told us that she could never be alone again. So all of the stress I was too weak to push on and I ran back to fatty comfort food. I have been planning my wedding and that alone has got me so stressed.
So here I am 7 weeks until my wedding an I am still as big as I was back in November. I guess I am OK with the fact I failed my challenge but I still want to lose weight and I have no idea what can help me stay motivated. I see so many people succeeding but i guess my question is how do they stay motivated?

You can still have progress, it may not be what you wanted it to be but I say keep on going. You can still log your food, you can still exercise, get sleep and drink lots of water. What I am saying is don't give up keep it logging and you will be fine. Set another challenge, and actually just set small goal every two weeks, then you can see how hard to push the last week. You should do fine, keep it going and don't give up.

I was a fat bride too. But believe me, the day wasnt any less perfect because of it. When I look back at the pictures, I mostly just see the smiles on our faces.
Now, both my hubby and I are more active and working toward losing weight and being fit.
Congratulations and good luck!

Here is what worked for me. I started off losing weight for my wedding, but quickly discovered that with life being how it is, I needed more then that.

I started by making small changes that I knew I could stick with. Once I adjusted to those small changes, I made a few more small changes. Those small changes add up fast, let me tell you. And I made it a point not to make any changes that I knew I wouldn't want to keep up in 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc. Find ways to make heathier choices, or at the very least, 'better bad choices.'

Once I had settled into my ideal lifestyle, I decided I needed more. For me, long term motivation comes with constantly coming up with short term goals. I am constantly finding short term goals that I'm personally invested in. It needs to get me excited to achieve them to qualify. Then, I have something to shoot for that I know I can achieve soon enough to make it worth the effort TODAY! As I meet my goals, I make new ones. When I stop making more goals, I lose motivation.

Maybe this might work for you? Good luck!!

Don't stress about your weight for your wedding. It didn't happen for you. Doesn't mean you can't loose weight for your future.

Your wedding day is about so much happiness and joy. It's a day to celebrate your love for one another. Don't let your weight ruin such a special time in your life.

My husband and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows on the beach, and I weighed less than I did when we married the first time. I was a fat bride, and fat wife. I didn't think it would ever change. I started MFP one year before our 10th anniversary weighing 240 @ 5'4, and was down about 60lbs by the time our renewal came up. I NEVER thought it was possible, and honestly I did very little exercise. It was all about portion control, and making healthier choices. I also gave up all sodas and only drink water now. I've failed at EVERY single diet there is. I've tried it all. If you are not ready to make a life change, then its not going to happen for you. I don't know why or how it finally clicked for me, but it did. Hopefully it'll click for you too and you can enjoy your life and not be so stressed about your weight.

Good luck on your journey and Congratulations on your wedding! May it be as beautiful and perfect as you could ever dream it to be!
Crystal

One very important thing to remember is that your future husband is going to love you no matter what ... whether you are a "fat" bride or a "skinny" bride. Life is about the journey not the destination and remember you are going to have him there next to you through this journey.

As for getting skinny and keeping the motivation it's along those same lines. You have to think about it as a lifestyle change not as a diet. In my opinion diets don't work. You have to do something that you can maintain for the long term (as in the rest of your life) or you will gain the weight back. We all struggle, last week for example I got on the scale for my monday weigh in and it said I had gained 3.5 pounds, I wasn't happy with that but my scale hadn't lied to me so far so I believed it. But I told myself I needed to do better so that when I weighed in again that the scale would be going in the right direction (down) ... and this morning when I weighed in I was back down 3.2 pounds ... so I'm not yet back to where I was two weeks ago, but I'm headed in that direction and that's what matters.

Also it sounds like you have had a lot of stressors in your life lately and you said you went back to your comfort foods. Maybe you should take some time for yourself and develop a plan for how you want to handle those unexpected stressors without going back to those comfort foods. A few suggestions, going for a walk, getting a massage, getting a pedicure, going swimming, using a punching bag ... whatever works for you. Start trading your unhealthy choices for healthier choices and eventually they will become habits. Also remember it's ok to slip and have unhealthy things once in a while, just try to do something healthier the next day.

Just keep trying it will get easier!

Krissy, first of all, the only thing that is going to be fat at your wedding is your heart swelling with happiness! Your husband-to-be loves you for you and that’s all you need to be the most beautiful bride! Look at that smiling girl in your profile pic, she’s gorgeous!

Secondly, you saying, “I guess I am okay with the fact that I failed my challenge” is not the kind of attitude you need to lose weight. You need to tell yourself, “I am *not *okay with the fact that I failed and I *am* going to work harder to prove that I can accomplish my next challenge!”

Last night, I watched a TV program called “Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition” where a 398 pound man lost 200 pounds over the course of one year. During that year, his son passed away, his relationship fell apart, he was jobless, and he was homeless, living out of his car. But during that time, he did not let anything keep him from his goal. He pushed himself to exercise as much as possible and instead of eating fast food, he ate fruits and vegetables. He set his goal to lose 200, and he lost that 200! Nothing could keep him from his goal!

You have gone through many struggles in the past year, and you have every reason to be stressed – but believe it or not, eating healthier (fruits and veggies) and exercising both help to reduce stress! Breathing exercises are also great – just sit up straight every once in a while, let your arms fall to your sides, and just take a long, slow deep breath in, and a long slow deep breath out. Repeat that a few times while thinking about relaxing each part of your body. It can be so refreshing to take that quick little time out when your head is going in circles. Even making time for 15 minutes of cardio once or twice every day can make a difference. Also, if you feel the need for a good cry, just let your emotions go. A lot recently, I’ve seen articles that encourage a good cry to improve your mood. Laughing helps too! When you hold your emotions in, you tense up and stress out more. Releasing stress can also help you to lose weight since stress hormones tell your body to retain weight. So it’s all the more reason for you to make time for healthier living before your wedding!

Here’s my unprofessional medical advice for you:

Next time that you’re upset about your mom, don’t run to eat ice-cream, think of how your mom would wish for your health and run a couple of laps up and down your street instead.
When you come back from your run, if you’re hungry, eat an apple and a slice of whole grain bread – something natural and healthy.
If you’re feeling emotional, think of some good times you’ve had with your mother over the years and allow yourself to laugh and then get out a good cry.
Once you’ve gone through the motions, take a moment for yourself to do some deep breathing, and then get back to what needs to get done, your wedding plans, and just see how much more focused you can be and how much more you can accomplish once you’ve cleared your mind of emotional stressors.

As for anything else that might go wrong, try to see the positive side of it. You get laid off – you get more time to focus on yourself and your family and your wedding. Your place gets trashed – you’ll have a great story to tell the kids someday, they’ll get such a kick out of it.

You can get through this, you just have to take a breath every now and again and remind yourself that you can do it – and then just get up and get things done! Throw away any excuses and let health take over as a new lifestyle.

Yeah, me too. I guess it just wasn't my time. Something eventually "clicked" and i feel so much different about weight loss now. Anyways, i was fat at my wedding, still loved my dress, had a great time and proudly display my wedding photos for all to see. You will too!