Need a joke, please!

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Replies

  • jigglybits
    jigglybits Posts: 100 Member
    What do u call cheese that is not mine??

    Not-your-cheese

    Don't get it?

    Say it really fast and it comes out like

    Nacho Cheese

    Bad I know but my girls love it!!
  • guidosgal
    guidosgal Posts: 581 Member
    Guido and Mario got on a ship to travel to the US.
    They both brought a horse with them. Now Mario was very worried because there horses would be kept steerage for the trip. He told his brother Guido "I donda know Guido howisa we gonna know whos horsa isa whos if we canta keep our eyes on dem.
    Guido thought about it a bit then said "Heya Mario we willa cut the main ofa your horsa really shorta and the Tail ofa mine shorta, then we willa know whos horse is whos"
    Mario smiled and told his brother what a good Idea it was and proceeded to give the horses there hair cuts
    They enjoyed the rest of the voyage and when they arrived in the US they went to pick up there horses
    Guido heard Marios crys of distress.
    "Whatsa madder Mario" Guido asked?
    Mario Said "Guido looka Looka the horses there hair has gowna back becausa da trip she wasa so long. Now we donta know whosa horse is whos"
    Guido thought for a minute or two and and told mario"Its Okay brother hows about I take da brown one and you datake the white one. :bigsmile:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
    A man was drunk at a bar and was worried after throwing up on himself.

    Man says "My wife's going to shoot me"

    Bartender says "Hey, when you go home, put $10 bill in your shirt pocket, and tell the wife you were at the bar, and a man threw up on you and he gave you $10 for the cleaning bill."

    Man thinks about it thinks it's a great idea and goes home.
    Sure enough when he walks in the door, his wife is giving him the third degree

    Wife "what did you do, you threw up on yourself again".

    Man "No Hunny, I didn't! A man at the bar did and he felt bad so he gave me $10 for the cleaning."

    Man pulls out $20 from his shirt pocket.

    Wife "I thought he only gave you $10 for the cleaning"

    Man "Yah the other $10 is because he pooped in my pants"
  • guidosgal
    guidosgal Posts: 581 Member
    OK that was funny :tongue:
  • Georg
    Georg Posts: 1,728 Member
    This was sent to me (blonde) from a blonde friend & my blonde sister the same week! It must be a true story!

    :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
    During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde coworker was
    using the following password:

    MICKEYMINNIEPLUTOHUEYLOUIEDEWEYDONALDGOOFY

    When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least
    8 characters long.

    :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • katie517
    katie517 Posts: 159
    Thanks everyone! Since today is a much better day just by being Friday, I will contribute also.

    Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other "Hey, how do you drive this thing?!" :bigsmile: :laugh:
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