Emotional Eating/Binge Eating

I wouldn't feel right with just throwing it away. I am one of those people that hates wasting food. I don't even really know where it came from, but I can't stand the thought of throwing out food... I feel sooooo guilty. I have already talked with her about it being hard not to eat all of the chocolate and so she has taken a lot to work and I have given a lot to friends. But I still feel really guilty about spending all that money and then just giving it away. Part of it is really difficult too, because it makes me feel really scared and depressed to give it away; like once it is gone my security blanket isn't there anymore. It makes me sad that I have to give it away because I can't eat a normal portion of it. It is dumb because it is *just* food, but yet it has so much emotional control over me.

My friend put it this way to me once: why should you be the human trash can? Putting chocolate into your mouth, not because you enjoy it (I really do, I love chocolate) and because you feel GUILTY isn't fair to YOU. Now, if you're just enjoying it, that's totally different. But if you're eating it out of GUILT and then gaining weight, how is that okay?

As for your mother, you said something interesting...you were upset that she didn't eat the chocolate. Why? The chocolate is food, that can go in someone's mouth, a trash can, or anywhere else. But you're under no obligation to eat chocolate just because you bought it, or someone gave it to you as a gift. And, your mother is under no obligation to eat it, because you gave it to her, or asked her to store it for you.

I wouldn't feel right with just throwing it away. I am one of those people that hates wasting food. I don't even really know where it came from, but I can't stand the thought of throwing out food... I feel sooooo guilty. I have already talked with her about it being hard not to eat all of the chocolate and so she has taken a lot to work and I have given a lot to friends. But I still feel really guilty about spending all that money and then just giving it away. Part of it is really difficult too, because it makes me feel really scared and depressed to give it away; like once it is gone my security blanket isn't there anymore. It makes me sad that I have to give it away because I can't eat a normal portion of it. It is dumb because it is *just* food, but yet it has so much emotional control over me.

One thing that has helped me is keeping myself busy. I don't mean just going for a walk or something because you just think about food the whole time you're gone, then when you get home, you still want to eat. What I have done is I keep a list of chores and special projects. When I start feeling the urge to binge, I eat a HEALTHY snack like raw veggies or a piece of fresh fruit, then I go to my list and pick a task...preferably something that requires me to think about something other than food. Usually, by the time I finish that task I'm past the urge to eat. If I'm not, I simply choose another task. I also try to watch that show Man vs. Food at least once per week. Watching that guy stuff himself to the point of bursting, and seeing how miserable he is afterward, reminds me of what I feel like after I've overeaten on junk food. I don't want that feeling, so I think twice about pigging out.

Secondly, you've GOT to STOP thinking about it as wasting food! Junk food is not food in the sense that it does not help our bodies, it hurts our bodies. It's like poison to your system. If your food had been tainted with some kind of poison (household chemical, antifreeze, etc...), you wouldn't keep eating it would you? Well, junk food is bad for you, too. It's not a waste to throw it away, it's a waste to buy it in the first place.

I believe that a majority of MY emotional eating is a control issue. I wish I could tell you how to overcome it, but I can not. I can, however, make a few points that may or may not help. I am a RULE FOLLOWER, but if someone tells me that I CAN'T do something, you had better believe that it burns my butt and it is written in my DNA to "prove them wrong". That is why I do not use words such as diet and cheating when it comes to my health plan. I find myself in a much better place when I release myself from the death grip of those mindsets.

I don't know what your religious affiliation is, but I feel the need to touch on the Spiritual aspect of things to address the GUILT. I am sorry if this bothers or offends. Romans 8 in the Bible is a great chapter of hope in this area. It starts off telling us that there is no condemnation in Christ and ends with the fact that we are more than conquerors. The chapter before it, though, covers the war that wages within our spirits. It is written by the Apostle Paul (the man who wrote nearly 2/3 of the New Testament and started his journey as a persecutor of Christ). In about verse 15, Paul goes into depth about how he wants to do what he knows is right BUT ends up doing the exact opposite. His struggles mirror those of the emotional eater.

Ours is a battle that goes way beyond whether or not to throw away chocolate. I believe that we are all born with the propensity toward certain negative/destructive behaviors (drinking, drugs, stealing, anger, overeating, etc) that will follow us throughout life. We can either give in to them and live life in defeat OR take each battle as it comes and hopefully, one day, gain victory.

Food may lead to a slower destruction than some of the others, but it is just as real, and you can't quit food "cold turkey". It is necessary for survival. Chocolate is NOT the enemy, and when I deny myself, I always go back to the original sin. A woman was told that she couldn't eat something in particular, and she gave in to the temptation. Plain and simple-- Hopefully, this wasn't just rhetoric for you. I have to go so I can't review what I've written. Fight the good fight!!!!! Run as if to win the race (1 Corinthians 7: something).

Thanks so much for the reference in Romans KatKitty. I also struggle with emotional binge eating and my faith is my #1 priority to get me through. I will definitely be reviewing that chapter in the Bible. Thanks again!

get the bad food out of where you are living. To me if it is in the vicinity I will eat it because I fixate on it. Throw it away, give it away just get it out of the house! I crave it so bad myself, but if I want it I have to leave my house to get it, and I won't let myself do that. At work it is harder because there is a candy machine on my floor and a cafeteria in the building.

Each day is a struggle, I have yet to overcome, but for every peice of chocolate you want, eat a grape or an orange or a banana or something else. That is what I am currently trying and it seems to help.

Good luck

Teresa

If you cant throw it out, hide it from yourself or your eyes. Out of sight out of mind. I have a place in the top of my freezer for chocolate that I dont "see" everytime I open the fridge. I know its there for when I really need it but not showing itself saying eat me all the time.
In my plan I couldnt go completely clean or stop eating this and that, nothing is off limits but only in moderation, if I dont eat what it is I'm craving I will eat everything until I get whatever I'm craving.
My best advice is write it out, write about everything. how you feel with it being there, how do you feel when your wanting it, how do you feel eating it. what makes you want it if your not hungry, could it have been you were hungry for a meal but instead snacked? My journal has given me more insights to my eating patterns and feelings than my therapist ever has.
You have to keep finding ways to outsmart yourself, if it works today it may not work tomorrow.

To any who suffer from emotional eating / binge eating / eating disorders, there is a website, www.therecoverygroup.org that is an online group. It is a 12 step program online for Overeaters Anonymous. They go through the 12 steps once a quarter onlline. I think they also have online "meetings". I don't know about the people there, other than the 12 step work seems pretty good. I came across them when I was looking for some online help with my 12 step (AA) work.

Emotional eating / binge eating / eating disorders can oftentimes be rooted deep within us, and many people who are emotional eaters have similar issues/personalities as alcoholics. It is so much so, that Overeaters Anonymous has adopted the bigbook (Alcoholics Anonymous) and the 12 and 12 (The Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions) for their groups. There is alot of hard work and self examination involved in a 12 step recovery program, but the end result is a freedom that you never dreamed possible. This freedom is yours for the taking, but you REALLY HAVE TO WANT IT to get it. If you think you may be struggling with a food addiction (I think that being proud of eating a candy bar without your spouse finding out qualifies) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do yourself a favor and check out the website I mentioned.

The biggest help I have in my recovery is God's ever loving grace and mercy.

I can't ... HE can ... I think I'll let HIM ...

To any who suffer from emotional eating / binge eating / eating disorders, there is a website, www.therecoverygroup.org that is an online group. It is a 12 step program online for Overeaters Anonymous. They go through the 12 steps once a quarter onlline. I think they also have online "meetings".

Thanks so much for the resource! I will definitely check this out.

I started binging in college, I recall shoving my face close to midnight when I'd be studying and stopped at 12AM because it was a new day and I had to be 'good'. 6 years later it's still a struggle I face but I've made some significant changes:

1) Consulting with a nutritionist I eradicated the words 'cheat meal' from my dictionary completely- it sets people with BED up for failure.
2) Avoid absolutes- "since I worked out today I should good all day" vs "I had a piece of chocolate therefore I should devour all high carb foods in sight and I'll just workout tomorrow"
3) If you're watching TV, walk around during commercials. It's normally food I wouldn't even crave for but I find myself looking for it eventually
4) Prayer
5) Mindfulness based stressed reduction - Jon Kabat Zinn emphasizes on slightly meditative yet more contemplative on being in the moment, constantly focusing on your breath. What I love is it's taught me not to fret about things that have happened or could happen but to be in the moment which is really all you have control over (okay sounds pretty hippy but it's not as bad as it sounds)
6) Be honest with your family about your condition and ask them to help you i.e. no buying the food you know you'lll seek when you want to binge. Tell them ways they can help you "hey if you want icecream go eat it in the mall please don't bring it home"
7) Written food diary which I also use to evaluate hunger levels and use to note what moods I was feeling, why I feel like binging (crappy day at work? just because?) what I could do to block it etc.
8) Capture, Challenge Change- capture the fact that you want to binge, challenge it and change.
9) Don't walk past the food aisles you know will torture and propel you to binge -really don't do it.


What kills me most is when people say people with BED have no self restraint. That is absolutely false as for folks with BED food is usually used to fill a void of some sort. if anything I've noticed that some 'addictions' are replaced with others. When I quit smoking, I started binging.