UGH!!!! guys vs. girls

alyblue
alyblue Posts: 20
my husband and i are both actively losing weight. and ok, i know i have some extenuating circumstances that makes it harder for me to lose weight... I am a type 1 insulin dependent diabetic and i also have to take complete thyroid replacement medication since my wonderful little thyroid decided to die completely a few years ago (kinda what started this whole debauchel). Anyway, we're both about a month in and i've lost 5 lbs. pretty happy. then my husband gets on the scale and he's lost 10! WHHHHYYYYYY. makes me feel so defeated he can lose weight so much faster than i can. im not as active as he is but i work a lot harder about eating healthy than he does. the man can pack down an entire pint of ice cream in under 30 minutes. i look at the ice cream and gain a pound. anyone else have this trouble dieting with your spouse?
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Replies

  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    That shouldn't make you feel defeated. You should be proud of him.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    That shouldn't make you feel defeated. You should be proud of him.

    this! Also, from your one picture that I can see, it doesn't look like you have much to lose... and are you and your husband the same size? That is something to factor into it as well.
  • theresmynapkin
    theresmynapkin Posts: 183 Member
    From experience and magazines and whatnot guys just lose weight easier. Because of the whole baby-making aspect (and other factors) females tend to hold onto fat more than guys... Unfortunately, biology is cruel this way.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    men are better than women! lol. Men natrually have more muscle than women, therefore they burn calories more efficiently.
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    Women look better, men lose weight easier - it's a tradeoff :D
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
    That shouldn't make you feel defeated. You should be proud of him.

    this! Also, from your one picture that I can see, it doesn't look like you have much to lose... and are you and your husband the same size? That is something to factor into it as well.

    Disagree with those who tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. That's not for anyone to decide. However, just be proud of the progress you are making and be proud of the progress he is making. Nothing in life worth having is free. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Everyone else always seems to have it easier than we do. I know the feeling, I've been there. Just try not to dwell on it and keep moving forward. Congrats on the 5lb loss, and keep up the great work!
  • Did he have more excess weight on that you did? The first pounds are easier to lose, and come off faster... I wouldn't turn it into a competition at ALL. Like you said, you have medical conditions, you are a woman...so you are completely different as individuals. Focus on YOU and you'll have more success.
  • Becca308
    Becca308 Posts: 43 Member
    I find the same - when the hubby and I decided to "be healthy" together, he drops weight way faster than I ever can. He also is that person who sits on his *kitten* for 6 months, then gets up and runs a 10km in 50 minutes and complains he's gotten slow!

    I don't let it bother me - men and women are so different, and as long as he's not rubbing it in your face and still being supportive of you, it's OK.
  • akiramezu
    akiramezu Posts: 278
    Women are biologically inclined to carry, store and gain fat for child bearing. It is a physiological and biological condition that has not changed for thousands of years, so it is more difficult for women to lose 'weight'. So do not feel disheartened if it seems like you're not working hard enough compared to your husband. It will just take more time (:
  • alyblue
    alyblue Posts: 20
    when we started i weighted about 10lbs more than my husband. im at 5'9 and he's about 5'11. i was at 215 and he was at 205. now he's at 190 and i'm at 209. i am really really proud of him but i guess im frustrated that i can't keep up... i want the same results he's getting! i've also noticed since i've started losing im getting some stretch marks on the insides of my legs. that's pretty defeating feeling as well. you can't really see my weight in my face or shoulders. its all in my stomach and upper thighs. and boobs. holy cow these boobs came out of nowhere!
  • rydn4h2o
    rydn4h2o Posts: 255
    This is why my husband and I don't tell each other what the scale says. It can be so aggravating sometimes when your spouse is dropping the weight like crazy and you can't make it move (or it goes the wrong way). I'm all for being supportive, but it's still frustrating!
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
    It's pretty common for guys to lose faster/ more easily, with more calories, 'cos they have higher muscle mass than we do, and hormonal differences aren't kind to us, either. My bf complains about how many calories he has to eat - it's all I can do not to beat him up! *laugh* I go harder, faster, longer in the gym... he burns more. Physiology is cruel. be proud of each other, but mayhap for you it's best not to do head to head that way 'cos it can feel really crummy (I speak from experience!)
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    That shouldn't make you feel defeated. You should be proud of him.

    this! Also, from your one picture that I can see, it doesn't look like you have much to lose... and are you and your husband the same size? That is something to factor into it as well.

    Disagree with those who tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. That's not for anyone to decide. However, just be proud of the progress you are making and be proud of the progress he is making. Nothing in life worth having is free. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Everyone else always seems to have it easier than we do. I know the feeling, I've been there. Just try not to dwell on it and keep moving forward. Congrats on the 5lb loss, and keep up the great work!

    So are you saying she should FEEL proud of her and her husbands progress? hehe :laugh:
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
    Sometimes it's nice being a guy. We can pee anywhere. We lose weight much easier. We don't have an Uncle TOM. Yep it's good to be a boy.

    Try and not worry about it being a competition. You can only take care of you and what you're doing. Try your best and let that be your guide. Cheer him on when he succeeds and encourage him when he struggles. Hopefully he'll do the same for you. And working together you'll both reach your goals.
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    Be proud of your accomplishment. BUT yes my husband never works out and eats crap and is skinny...I hate him for it some days!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    It's just something we have to accept. It took me about a year to lose 47 pounds and my husband started using MFP like 8 months after I did and he is up to almost 40 already.
  • BriskisGrl
    BriskisGrl Posts: 461
    My husband has lost 15 lbs and around 6-8 inches. He has access to a gym I do not.

    I've lost only 6 lbs so far and also have health issues that factor into my loss or gain.

    I'm still proud of every inch or lb that comes off him. Not to mention I have a hard time keeping my hands off. To his great annoyance lol.

    It's not a race it's not a diet.. It's a positive lifestyle change that we are doing for ourselves and to be better role models for our children!
  • alyblue
    alyblue Posts: 20
    I find the same - when the hubby and I decided to "be healthy" together, he drops weight way faster than I ever can. He also is that person who sits on his *kitten* for 6 months, then gets up and runs a 10km in 50 minutes and complains he's gotten slow!

    I don't let it bother me - men and women are so different, and as long as he's not rubbing it in your face and still being supportive of you, it's OK.

    ok good im glad im not the only one. that makes me feel a little better. my husband is the exact same way. we run a mile and im dying at the end and he's like let's do another! just makes me wanna smack him sometimes lol.
  • MrsRawwwr
    MrsRawwwr Posts: 166 Member
    My boyfriend is working on a ranch this summer. He came home 15 pounds lighter after the first two weeks. Of course I was happy for him, but I'l admit im a bit nervous he'll end the summer lighter than me!
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    I am on the upper end of this seesaw.... Much easier for me to lose than my wife. It is just the way our bodies are built. Unfair? Yes. It just means that your 5 pounds means much more... Congrats on the 5 lbs AND his 10 lbs.
  • alyblue
    alyblue Posts: 20
    It's pretty common for guys to lose faster/ more easily, with more calories, 'cos they have higher muscle mass than we do, and hormonal differences aren't kind to us, either. My bf complains about how many calories he has to eat - it's all I can do not to beat him up! *laugh* I go harder, faster, longer in the gym... he burns more. Physiology is cruel. be proud of each other, but mayhap for you it's best not to do head to head that way 'cos it can feel really crummy (I speak from experience!)

    that totally cracks me up. i sit there seething sometimes watching him down 4 mountain dews in a row when waters threatening to turn me into a bowling ball. my husband is very loving and sweet though, and really he's my motivation for doing this!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    It's easy to say "you should be proud of him" but that's not reality. Reality is that when we are struggling with something, it can hurt to see someone have success come easier. So I don't blame you. It's human. But I will caution you... Men will almost always lose weight faster than women. Perhaps it is best if you keep your exact poundage to yourself, if it discourages you that he's losing weight faster? I don't share my weight with my boyfriend. It doesn't matter to anyone else but me what my weight is; all anyone else notices is the change in my body, if it's noticeable enough. I think you should try to be proud of one another (you are BOTH succeeding) and not look at numbers on the scale
  • LindaLouLu
    LindaLouLu Posts: 271 Member
    MY husband and I go round and round about this. In the very beginning, I was the bigger one. A pound here, MAYBE 2 there were coming off the at the scales. Then it'd be his turn and I pretty much could guarantee he'd double my numbers. Verrrrrry frustrating. Good news is I'm very competitive about things and it's only pushed me to work harder and harder. There are times where I look at his numbers and I hear about the things he eats (he's over seas right now) and I can't figure out how he doesn't weigh 50lbs MORE! Then again, he's a Ectomorph and I'm a Mesomorph, so that right there makes all the difference.
    It might come down to something as simple as your body types too....
    Good luck and try not to hold a grudge :wink: You'll both be smaller in the long run, no matter WHO get's there first. :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Here, I'll make you feel better. I have stayed steady for the past month despite getting up early and walking, running, lifting weights and overall getting much more activity than ever. I am also counting calories. It isn't a competition. As you noted, you have some circumstances that make it more difficult to lose already. Be happy for his loss and yours.
  • minime2b
    minime2b Posts: 168
    Been there. My hubby and I are doing this thing together and early on he seemed to have more success than me. A couple of months in I had a few weeks that were better as he was leveling off. We have both lost about the same amount and we're 5 months in. Just stay focused. Everyones weight loss is different. the important thing is that both of you are making progress and you help keep one anothe motivated. Good luck
  • Nikocan
    Nikocan Posts: 92
    when we started i weighted about 10lbs more than my husband. im at 5'9 and he's about 5'11. i was at 215 and he was at 205. now he's at 190 and i'm at 209. i am really really proud of him but i guess im frustrated that i can't keep up... i want the same results he's getting! i've also noticed since i've started losing im getting some stretch marks on the insides of my legs. that's pretty defeating feeling as well. you can't really see my weight in my face or shoulders. its all in my stomach and upper thighs. and boobs. holy cow these boobs came out of nowhere!

    I relate..I relate..My husband also has the annoying habit of being able to lose weight without lifting a finger..and when we do our weigh ins..Either we have lost the exact same weight or he has jumped ahead of me..hate it hate it hate it..GRRRR..
  • alyblue
    alyblue Posts: 20
    thank you... ALL of you for your opinions. we're all over the board but i do feel a lot better. i actually just got annoyed enough to ask him if i could go to his gym class with him a few days a week and he said yeah. the smile on his face made me feel like he was excited i wanted to go since he has never pushed me to. i'm super super competitive so i know i'll try my best to keep up with him on the treadmill. also has anyone done that couch to 5k program? i'd be willing to take it on with a partner if anyone is interested?
  • MMAQueen
    MMAQueen Posts: 279 Member
    same here! my hubby can drop weight like it's going out of style. and it's not like he's got a tonne to lose, he's 6'0 and about 166. he'll get up to around 170, the decide to drop to 160, and it takes him... a week. it takes me months to do that!
  • michelleepotter
    michelleepotter Posts: 800 Member
    My husband -- God love him -- eats way worse than I do, exercises way less, and loses way more. Well, maybe not way more, but definitely more. He's lost 16 pounds so far, and I've been stuck at 12 pounds for weeks.

    Don't compare yourself to your husband; it will just make you crazy! Fill up your MFP friends list with women at about the same place on their journey as you, and lose -- slower than the men -- together! :)
  • jenniejengin
    jenniejengin Posts: 784 Member
    Me and my boyfriend are both working out now (not workout partners, because we are doing different things). I started way b4 him and his progress is so much better than me. I am glad that I was able to encourage him to finally work out. Overeall, he looks so much better. I compliment him all the time now, just to keep him motivated and to keep up the good work. He look better now than when we first met. I have to play catch up and that motivates me.