harassment in the workplace? please help?

Hi there,

A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

What would you do?

I work in this field, so here's my advise.

1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.

I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.

3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.

If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.

NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.

NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.

NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.

If you have questions, feel free to message me.

Wow, I thought some of my past supervisors were bad. You have to report him. Do you know whether he has spoken to anyone else like this?

Document document and document everything!!!

This, and you need a witness too it. Time, place, emails etc, keep it all, then go to HR. Shocking way for a manager to behave. What age is IT, 15?

^^THIS.

Hi there,

A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

What would you do?

I work in this field, so here's my advise.

1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.

I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.

3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.

If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.

NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.

NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.

NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.

If you have questions, feel free to message me.

FABULOUS INPUT. USE IT.

From my HR background (I am an HR Manager), here is my piece:
- does your company have a sexual harrassment policy? if so, you need to follow their procedure for reporting. I disagree with recording him if your state laws make that illegal as that can backfire you. Check on this.
- To be harrassment, it must be unwelcome. With that said, you need to clearly tell him you don't like his behavior and he needs to stop. Your best bet, since you guys don't have a lot of chances to have witnesses around is to give it to him in writing, CC your HR department and I would even copy his Manager.
- Make a formal report to HR, follow your procedure in place.
- One of the first questions HR will ask you is if you have witnesses. Again, by knowing your Harrassment Policy you will know if your coworkers have duty to report this behavior. Don't be afraid to mention their names, even if they don't want nothing to do with it. If your company is serious, they will treat this matter with confidentiality and without retaliating.
- I agree with others, keep copies of all documents you hand to HR or this guy, make a note of date/time you hand them out and who you gave them too, keep a note of any witnesses of this exchange. (this is just extra precautions, again, if your company is serious, you don't have to worry about missing papers).
- if that does not stop and nothing happens, ditch the company and sue their *kitten*! Make a report with the EEOC and the Department of Labor immediately. Your notes will become handy here. No company want to go through this hell, so I hope they do their job to avoid this measure.

Good luck girl, hope things get better for you and your HR department acts professionally in this case. Keep us updated. In fairness to my kind (HR Managers), we can't fix a situation if we don't know about it!! Give them a chance.
Hope this helps!

And, yes, I was assuming you were in the states (silly me!). If you are outside of the US, I am unsure of the laws that might protect you against harassment, but be sure to call someone in your country who might know if such laws exist and how to go about exercising your rights under those laws.

I believe your state is a two party consent state, which means that both parties must be informed if the conversation is being recorded, so I would not record the harassment. You could give any lawyer that specialized in employment law a call and they could tell you for sure.

However you do want to document what is said and done. Go with your memory for things that have happened in the past with rough dates and keep more exact notes from here on out.

Take what you have to the owners or HR office. Once you have told them about it they are obligated to investigate your claims. If they don't they can be held liable.

You can also fill a claim with the EEO office in your state.

Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities (FEPA)
21 Grant Street
Hartford, CT 06106
Phone: 860-566-4895
Fax: 860-246-5068
TTY: 860-541-3459
Website: http://www.state.ct.us/chro/

Give them everything you are giving the owners/HR and keep a copy for yourself.

If you get fired after complaining to management or filing the EEO claim, you can hire that lawyer and laugh all the way to the bank:)

Documentation is good. Copy everything. Eventually, he will slip up and make these comments in front of others, but why wait?

Years ago, I worked with a delightful asswipe who acted the exact same way. He left me alone after he told me that he'd asked the ob-gyn to put a couple of extra stitches in his wife after she had her baby. My response was a cool, slightly pitying, "Really, teeny peeny? Give your wife my condolences." He continued being horrible with everyone else, though. His fatal slip was when he told another manager, in front of me and another girl, that the only place for a woman was on her knees in front of a man. We marched in lockstep, straight to the office and told the store manager we wanted HR and the District Office. He was gone in 3 hours.

Much later, another gem came through. Sadly for him, I had access to the security cameras. He went away, too.

Don't let him bully you. He sounds like a world-class creep.

Hi there,

A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

What would you do?

I work in this field, so here's my advise.

1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.

I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.

3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.

If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.

NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.

NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.

NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.

If you have questions, feel free to message me.

FABULOUS INPUT. USE IT.

Yes. If you report it to managment and either 1) get fired for reporting or 2) the harassment continues then the company is then also on the line for creating a hostile working environment.

Start carrying around a tape recorder with you... catch him on tape, If he threatened to fire you for going to higher management then you KNOW he has something to hide.

idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

That is blackmail, which is illegal. Go talk to a expert in workplace law before you go to management.