Any advice?

Well, I know at age 12.. since my mother overate, I would follow in the same pattern. I ended up weighting in the 170's in high school, then in college gained the freshman 15. Well, I finally realized how to eat better once I was out of college and had more control over what I ate. When you're that young, the parents really dictate your eating habits. It's really hard.

Perhaps start with you aunt and uncle?

I used to be a chunky kid. I had to live with my aunt and uncle when i was 13 and I had a cousin that was a cheerleader and on the swimteam. I would suggest to take her out to dinner and teach her whats healthy and whats not. Just talk to her about health you are actually doing her a favor. Bring up maybe doing swimming and things like that. It would really help her build her self confidence and everything.

Maybe you can encourage her to get involved in some kind of sports at school.

To be quite honest, and this is only my opinion, but honesty is important. Cruelness is not. I believe that like the others said, tell her your story, but also be honest and open with her, tell her you're concerned about her. Also, talk to her mom and dad. Surely they don't want their children teased and made fun of in high school. They can do something about it now while they're children are young. A lot of times parents aren't going to want to listen to being critisized (spell check please). They may even get upset, and say you're wrong, there's nothing wrong with their kids weight, but deep inside they'll know they're wrong. Sometimes you have to piss people off to get them to listed. Now I'm not saying to walk up to them and say, "Hey you fat cows, you need to lose weight." Just bring it up sometime when it's just you and them. Next time you're alone with your niece, bring it up to her. I was fortunate enough not to be big in high school...until I got pregnant. After the pregnancies the weight just kept piling on, I lost so much, and even now, I feel like I'm losing out because sometimes, I'm just too embarassed with my weight to take the kids to the park, my butt's too big to go down the slide with my daughter. I don't want that to happen to them. So I'm taking the steps now to make sure it doesn't.

Like I said, my opinion is to be honest with her, and her parents. BUT please don't mention her weight to her parents in front of her, or mention her weight to her in front of ANYONE in front of her. That'll mess her up.

Take her aside one day, and say, "Hey girl. How would you like to start working out with me? Start getting into better shape so when you go to the prom you'll be a total hottie." Something like that. I don't know your niece's personality, but take that into consideration on how you address it. Let her you know you're concerned and you're going to help her to the best of your ability. Show her MFP.

Goodluck on whatever you decide. I hope it works out for her and the whole family.

ALC

i feel the most important thing is HEALTH not weight. she needs to understand that being healthy is important and the best way to be healthy is to eat right and MOVE around.

I wish i knew. if i did i would help my 14 year old sister who (i dont know how much she weighs exactly) but she weighs well over 200 lbs.. and i am 21 with 2 children and weigh 170 now. its sad. and my dad and step mom dont show any concern about it.

My 12 year old cousin just went to the dr and she weighed 172lbs. She is only 5 feet tall. Both her parents are overweight, and so is her 11 year old brother. They are constantly eating out, or eating crap and junk food. She told me she stopped buying soda, but she just bought sugary juice instead. I'm worried about them, especially Kristen. It's really hard at that age. I want to help her, but I don't want to make her feel bad about her weight. I'm trying to get her to do more things with me, like roller skating, but one day a week isn't going to be much help. I think she's old enough to make her own decisions about what she eats, but I don't know how to bring it up, that won’t hurt her feelings. I was overweight at that age, and my grandma pointed it out constantly, and I was anorexic for 2 years. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? Thanks.

She told you she stopped buying soda, instead opting for juice (that she doesn't realize is sugary and not great for her either). Sounds to me like she WANTS to lose weight but doesn't know how.

Maybe subtly bring up topics that give her opportunites to voice her own desires, such as, "Did you know you can burn off 200 calories roller skating? I know that helps me out with my own healthier eating," or however you can phrase that to sound natural. This opens the door for her to ask questions about how much you eat, how many calories are in what foods, and what kind of calories she should be eating.

At 12, she is probably being picked on by other girls at school, or at least ostracized. She probably wants help but doesn't know where to reach out. Make yourself available to her. Maybe share your story with her. Maybe you can work into a conversation about school how you were picked on about your weight (assuming you were.... you didn't say that) and see if she shares similiar stories.

I think you are underestimating what kind of impact you can make on her by spending 1 day a week with her. Maybe I'm wrong, but I imagine she looks up to her cool, older cousin. She's going to feel pretty special that you are spending time with her. You already know how not to approach her thanks to your grandmother. (Lot of sympathy for you there, mine was the same way.) I’m sure you will eventually figure out the best way to approach the topic with her. Without knowing the kid, it is hard to really give too much advice on how to talk to her about it.

I commend you for trying. As a kid I knew I was overweight (probably already obese by 12) but I didn't know that I could fix it. I really wish someone had reached out to me and woke me up back then. As it was, I was 30 before I woke up and realized I can do something about my weight. Now, I look back at my teen years (and my 20s for that matter) and think “it didn’t have to be like that.” You are giving her the best gift of her life if you can help her.