hateful words

"sometimes I feel like my weight is out of control but then I look at you and I see that I'm not that bad!"

This is the most important part of your post. This lady was 'supportive' when you were larger because it made her feel better about her issues.

You are now doing something about it and this scares her, she may have to actually face the fact that she has a problem.

I have encountered a lot of this along the way, now I am close to my goal I get lots of 'dont be going too far' and 'dont get too skinny' when what they actually mean is 'DONT GET SKINNIER THAN ME'.

Stick to your calorie allowance and exercise often, this will work and you will feel better.

Incidently I also have a degree in criminal justice. I work as a probation officer and I absolutely love it. What do you plan to do with yours?

ah babe thats awful, i wander in some twisted way she may feel she's encouraging you? some people feel insecure when you lose weight/change, it questions their place with you (if that makes sense). Hon your a beautiful lady, you can totally do this, the weight will come off, i always think the slower it comes off the more chance i have of keeping it off - that always helps me. we'r here for you, hopefully you don't live near that lady and won't have to see her for some time and when your ready you may feel like approaching her and telling her those words were really hurtful. best of luck with this journey :flowerforyou:

I am so sorry... I can't begin to imagine where your aunts head is at.

Use this to motivate u....I hav a family member who ignored my first weight loss effort n never commented when ev one else did so I knew it was noticeable...had a baby... N started again n one of my goals was to get to a point that she could no longer ignore it n I had that bfore Christmas n it was so satisfying. These family members r the type of people who think one pound over is fat and she called ME skinny!!! I'm not but big diff to how I was.

So do the same... N wen u finally have your aunts attention cos u lost weight, give her a big hug n say "thank you.. U r one of the reason y I got to this point" n remind her of wat she said.

Don't give up...use everything to stoke that fire in your belly so u can keep going. Don't hang on to it but turn it around.

First off, you need someone to give you a hug! Consider yourself bear-hugged sweetie!

And now for the rest...

You are in a similar situation as me. We both have a ways to go before we will get there. But you are 20 pounds down and well on your way. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You need to talk to your aunt and tell her how much her comments hurt you. You need to communicate to her that if she cannot say something supportive to you, she needs to keep her mouth shut and her hurtful, negative comments to herself. Be sure to tell her that you have always counted on her for support and encouragement in the past and that it is particularly hurtful that she is being so outspoken, negative and critical now.

Now, you need to listen up 'cause this is the important part: If you want it (you do) and you are willing to do the work to get there (you are), you will get there. It's not about the size on your dress tag. It is about being the healthiest YOU that you can be. Regardless of what anyone else says, you must believe in yourself. You must believe that you will reach your goals. If you can graduate with an AA (congrats by the way) and you can lose 20 pounds, then you can do it. There are going to be times when no matter what you do, that damned scale is not going to budge. Sometimes we can't see the changes that are taking place in our bodies. Those times when your metabolism is changing, when your muscles are building, when it just isn't that obvious or changing in the way you want it to. They are difficult and they can be frustrating but you need to take a deep breath, remind yourself of why you started this journey in the first place, and persevere!

If you have reached a plateau, then so some thread searching here for tips on how to break it. Check your food intake, are you eating too much or not enough? If you haven't recalculated your calorie needs based on your current loss, then do so. If you need to change your workout regime a little to jump start the weight loss maybe now is the time to try that exercise that you have been thinking about. If you are not exercising and have lost the weight just with calorie control, then it's time to kick it up a notch. There are steps you can take, and once you take them, you just have to be patient and give it time. I know it is hard - we live in a society that really values instant gratification. You won't get there overnight, but honey you will get there.

Keep your chin up! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
If your aunt can't support you, talk to someone who can, and will, encourage and support you. And feel free to add me as a friend - I'll be glad to cheer you on!

So sorry to hear that. Maybe she has an alterior motive. Maybe she was jealous. Maybe, in some sick, twisted way, she was trying to motivate you. It angers me to hear the way she treated you. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. The bottom line is that we all need to be around good, positive and supportive people. Tearing someone down doesn't accomplish anything except resentment and bad feelings as your OP indicates. I think you should be proud of your accomplishment, your education and how much weight you have lost. Hang in there. You are doing just fine. Keep up the good work and try to avoid negative people. Life is to precious and short.

Hope I'm not talking out of turn but possibly jealous as you're making progress. I think ther's so much to each individual and what makes us unique and one if those things is our weight and how it makes others perceive us. If this starts to change I think some people become a little insecure and become worried about how your relationship will change. If yours is based on her support of you and you lose weight (which you are and will continue to do) she may be worried you won't need her as much. She wasn't giving constructive criticism but just being cruel. Just a thought.

Sweetheart, even if you manage to loose "only" 20lbs (Way to go on the 15 by the way!) you are STILL 20lbs lighter then you were at the start. That's why I failed last time, I was down to my lowest weight I can remember at 200lbs; about 20lbs down. For me it still wasn't low enough so I gave up and went back to the sweets and cakes and nasty stuff that wasn't any good for me. I regained and more and now I feel even worse then I did. This time round it's about a full change, and about not giving up if the going gets hard, and remembering that ANYTHING down from where I was will feel better.