Life/Work/Kids/DH V exercise

I think there are some things that you need to do for you, and getting healthy is one of them.
I've been married for a long time, my husband and I raised 6 kids, it doesn't matter if its 2 kids or 10, its a strain when you have have a lot of other things going on.
Both you and your husband need "ME" time, and it should be non-negotiable, and no one should be upset, or using it as a weapon for an argument.
When our kids were young, my husband and I would argue on occasion, especially if there was a lot of other stress in our life. I learned that he was never really upset because I was leaving him with the kids for an hour here or there, even if thats what he said he was upset about. Normally, what he was really upset about was that we weren't spending enough time together doing things as a couple.
It's a tough balancing act for women, but you're doing great.

Just saw your response to the other poster. How about running outdoors at 5? Or getting some equipment to use at home? Does your gym have childcare?

And this is why I did not exercise for a few years. We were having kids (we now have 6) and with all of their activities and such, I felt guilty leaving at night to work out....so I did not.

Had 6th child at 39 and could really tell that my body had changed and I was losing muscle tone. So, I talked to DH (who works out 6 days a week and always has) that I needed to join a gym. Now at times, I feel badly when I am leaving everyone (I am now the Zumba teacher at the gym and I have some classes at 9pm) but, I give my family 23 hours a day, so it is OK for me to have 1 hour to take care of myself.

Maybe you cul cut your workout down to one hour and shower at home. That way you are only gone for 1 hour 15-30 minutes instead of 2 hours. Sure, if you shower at home you are not "with him" but for him, you are home...and that might be good enough.

It is difficult to balance everything, I do hope that you two can figure out what works best for both of you.

Sure, if you shower at home you are not "with him" but for him, you are home...and that might be good enough.

Hey that might be part your answer...do shower with him!!!

I have two children and finding time to exercise is really difficult sometimes. Can you do some active things together as a family eg country walks/jogs (pushing a buggy if need be) , swimming when you can alternate looking after the kids with a few laps. Things like zumba or wii fit with the kids at home. I know all these things are a compromise and not a proper workout but they would take some of the pressure off your other half. Even my 4 year old can go on quite long hikes now in the countryside and I've always taken them from being babies. You just need the right equipment like a carrying rucksack for a toddler etc.

Hope this helps

Sarah

I post this on the forums a lot, because it's awesome. The concept is that if you have a minute here, a minute there (enough time to play Angry Birds, in other words), you have time to work out.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/03/10/angry-birds-workout-plan/

How old are the children? would you be able to get them into exercise too? things you can do as a family like walking, hiking, swimming, tennis etc.

Hi,

I'm a single mum of 4 and have also been through the blackmail from my ex over babysitting when we were together. If you can involve him and the kids a bit more you might have a bit more wriggle room to not need to go out on the nights when it's hard to leave them. I'm not saying don't go out - far from it! It's good for you to have time alone, it makes you calmer and happier which is good for him and your children. Don't forget he benefits from you looking good and being healthy too. A few ideas that work for me:

Cycle as a family, not sure how old your kids are - if they are little get bike seats. Make it a day out with a picnic on a sunday. Quality family time and you get your exercise.

Hire a badminton or tennis court as a family. Even my 4 yr old loves this and has done for a couple of years. Spend some time teaching the kids and then sit them on the edge with a drink or snack and play with your partner or go with a friend and their kids. My leisure centre does cheap courts for families one night a week and during school hols.which is fab.

Swimming. Go as a family and play together but give each other an agreed amount of time (depending on age and stamina of kids) to go and do lengths. you both get the same treatment and its family fun kids of all ages love.

Dance with the kids at home all the time, fab workout and happy kids.

Roller or ice skate with the kids. Most ice rinks have skates and push alongs for kids from about 2.

Long walks in the countryside.

Find a big indoor play centre and get in there with the kids.

SEX!!!!!

Errr - trampoline if you have the space? Now thats a big workout opportunity.

Hope that gives you a couple of starting ideas - adapt them to suit your life and interests. If your partner isn't interested team up with another mum.

Teresa

An hour and a half of exercising is probably too much. You don't need to spend that much time at the gym. It's likely that you're over-training.

It doesn't sound like you are making excuses. You are ticking off the reasons why a suggestion won't work. I certainly didn't figure it out. I did ZERO exercise when my kids were little and still felt torn in a zillion directions. My daughter does a little running at home. She doesn't have a treadmill or anything; she just puts on her sneakers and jogs in front of a favorite DVD for 20 min, and she lives in a small apartment. Good luck figuring it out! Good for you for making this a priority!