Question for everyone who just settles.
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If you're capable of doing a lot more, trying harder, doing better, why are you content with just settling?
Because my body shape has been this way since I was 8. I have yet to find any exercise or nutrition that will make my gut flat, hips shrink 30 inches, and arm wattles/wings to go up. The only thing that will do those is surgery which, unless it's life threatening, is out of my league.0 -
I didn't say there was anything wrong with a size three. I just said that it was not MY goal and that that wasn't settling for me.0
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It's possible that someone else's goal, achieved through hard work and dedication looks like settling to you.
That, and 9/11 are what happened for me. I didn't lose anyone close, but there are people in my town who died. They might have refused to settle -- done everything perfectly, but in the end, it didn't help them. What I mean is, we have the illusion of control, especially regarding weight.
You can do everything right, and still have something else go wrong in your life.
So, I think some of the people who are "settling" are simply deciding, that's enough for me.0 -
"Come gather 'round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown. And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you is worth savin', then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone. For these GOALS they are a-changin'."0
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What an interesting subject, clearly a lot of people here misinterpreting it and getting quite defensive unnecessarily which doesn't surprise me. For what it's worth I think it's basically just human nature for people to take the path of least resistance, no matter what area of their life it is. That is of course until something gets in the way which is why I think many of us ended up on here in the first place. Not everyone has the drive and will to push themselves to their limits, otherwise we'd all look like models and be all earning megabucks, or be olympic athletes, and there'd be no need for sites like this as we'd never have put ourselves in a place where we needed to lose loads of weight in the first place :-)
Forgive my rambling but I guess what I'm trying to say is that until pushed or forced most people like being in a comfort zone, which isn't a problem for most of us.0 -
What an interesting subject, clearly a lot of people here misinterpreting it and getting quite defensive unnecessarily which doesn't surprise me. For what it's worth I think it's basically just human nature for people to take the path of least resistance, no matter what area of their life it is. That is of course until something gets in the way which is why I think many of us ended up on here in the first place. Not everyone has the drive and will to push themselves to their limits, otherwise we'd all look like models and be all earning megabucks, or be olympic athletes, and there'd be no need for sites like this as we'd never have put ourselves in a place where we needed to lose loads of weight in the first place :-)
Forgive my rambling but I guess what I'm trying to say is that until pushed or forced most people like being in a comfort zone, which isn't a problem for most of us.0 -
I have wondered the same thing. I have a very dear friend who is very overweight, probably by 100 lbs. She knows she's very overweight. She thinks it's funny. She went to the doctor for a routine checkup and the doctor told her she should lose weight before it starts affecting her health. Her exact words as she was recounting the story were "As long as it's not affecting my health, I don't give a ****. I like food, and I don't like exercise. When it starts to cause me health problems, then I'll try to lose the weight, and I'll do what it takes. Until then, I don't give a **** what the scale says."
It hurts my heart when she talks like that. She knows that someday, her obesity is going to cause health problems. But she doesn't care to take action before her life is in danger. I don't understand.
Are you talking about my sister? OMG! she says the same thing and it drives me insane!0 -
I have wondered the same thing. I have a very dear friend who is very overweight, probably by 100 lbs. She knows she's very overweight. She thinks it's funny. She went to the doctor for a routine checkup and the doctor told her she should lose weight before it starts affecting her health. Her exact words as she was recounting the story were "As long as it's not affecting my health, I don't give a ****. I like food, and I don't like exercise. When it starts to cause me health problems, then I'll try to lose the weight, and I'll do what it takes. Until then, I don't give a **** what the scale says."
It hurts my heart when she talks like that. She knows that someday, her obesity is going to cause health problems. But she doesn't care to take action before her life is in danger. I don't understand.
Are you talking about my sister? OMG! she says the same thing and it drives me insane!0 -
My simple answer. This time of year I am super busy, I'm tired, and I'm letting myself get lazy in the food area. Trying to get back in the groove though!:ohwell:0
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I don't think its that people are saying they wouldn't want more but when I was in my 20s and even up to 250 lbs I felt fit and was healthy(until hypertension kicked in during pregnancy) so it didn't bother me as much but no I wasn't happy with my size. Or being limited on clothing styles.
Right now I'm in the range where being this overweight is causing health issues but every time I lose it comes right back like its water weight.0 -
For me it wan't about "settling" I have a disability andcan not work out the way I once did - so I needed to redo everythin g from eating to excercise to find what would work for me w/o ending up shaking. As a result I gainned all my weight back. I "settled" while I tried to find what works for me. I'm still experimenting which is why my weight fluctuates. However - I'm mindful of the food excercise equation so I haven't gave up all I lost. However, I still gain from time to time when I can't move i.e. eworkout or even walk due to my physical limitations. For that reason I "settle."0
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I guess it is all a personal preferene. I am one of those girls that is aiming for what most would call an unhealthy higher weight, or at least out of my BMI range. I want to get to 170. I guess once I get there I can reevaluate, but that is what I weighed when i graduated high school and I had all the confidence I needed and I felt sexy. I think I truly belong in the time of Marilyn Monroe when it was socially acceptable and even coveted to be curvy, and have a little bit of meat to them. I have a large chest, butt, and hips and prefer it that way. The chest and but can and maybe will shrink, but my hips are most likely not going to change- big hips run in my family- and dropping down to low in weight, I feel is going to make my hips look weird. I dont think that it is okay to just eat whatever and let yourself go completely but what good does it do to try and explain it to someone who doesnt care about themselves already.,
I dont consider this my journey to weight loss, I consider this my journey to my happy body, and if that happens to be 20 pounds heavier than my BMI says I should be then it is going to be 20 lbs heavier than my BMI. Good question tho
Edited for some typing mistakes 0 -
What an interesting subject, clearly a lot of people here misinterpreting it and getting quite defensive unnecessarily which doesn't surprise me. For what it's worth I think it's basically just human nature for people to take the path of least resistance, no matter what area of their life it is. That is of course until something gets in the way which is why I think many of us ended up on here in the first place. Not everyone has the drive and will to push themselves to their limits, otherwise we'd all look like models and be all earning megabucks, or be olympic athletes, and there'd be no need for sites like this as we'd never have put ourselves in a place where we needed to lose loads of weight in the first place :-)
I agree. Weight loss and living a healthy lifestyle are difficult. It requires alot of hard work and planning and making sensible choices. With our easy access to fast food and unhealthy choices, it's easier to just order something than to prepare something at home. This coupled with the fact that exercise requires (sometimes) extreme effort could lead to someone just "settling".0 -
Precisely.I agree with the others - priorities.
A lot of people ask me why I don't try and lose more weight. I am at the high end of for ideal weight for my height. My answer? I'm happy here. I wanted to get that weight off to insure that I didn't follow on the same health path as my family members. After losing the weight, I've had medical tests done and they've determined that I am in excellent health. That my heart (a big issue in my family) is in excellent condition and does not show any of the early warning signs for the diseases and ailments that plague my family.
Now, I want to live life. I don't want to spend all my time at the gym. I do not want to agonize over every bite I put in my mouth. I do not want to have to evaluate every single calorie that I may consume.
Perhaps to some people it may appear that I am lazy or settling, but I do not feel that way. I am happy and content where I am and whether or not it pleases someone else is irrelevant to me. Could I be thinner? Sure. Could I be stronger? Of course. Could I be this or that? Probably, but those things aren't important or a priority to me.
We all have our own goals, wishes and desires.. If you achieve yours or are happy with yourself, is it really settling simply because someone else thinks you should be thinner, stronger, etc?
I don't think so.
Just because we aren't obsessing does not mean we are settling.
^This. I want to be healthier. I want to be smaller. And I will be- eventually, but I have a lot of things going on in my life- I exercise when I can and I eat as healthily as I can each day, depending on what else I have going on. At the end of the day sometimes there are other things I have to do that are more important than going to the gym. As long as everyone is happy with themselves then what does it matter?0 -
I think for me I settled with my weight until I was in a psychological spot where I could deal with it. And there are other areas of my life where I'm essentially "settling" (yeah, I'm looking at that mound of laundry) because I can put my major effort into one area at a time.
Does that make sense? I'm looking back at the last few years of my life and realizing that there were a lot of areas in my life where I didn't have my act together. I needed to do one at a time.....grieving for my mom, getting my financial act together, etc. Now I'm addressing my weight. Did I know these areas of my life were messed up? Yep. Could I deal with all of them at once? Probably not successfully. I was aware that I was dissatisfied with these areas of my life but needed to "settle" for things being the way they were until I could deal with the other areas. Do I have other areas in my life that I need to work on after my weight? Sure. I'll try to get to them eventually but I can only fix one area of my life at a time.
The thing is I'm not even sure what weight I'll "settle" on. Does that make sense? I've lost a bunch of weight already. I'm glad it's off. Am I happy where I am? Nope so I'm trying to keep on going. But I'm not entirely sure where I'll be happy stopping. My first goal was to get out of the obsese BMI zone. Done that. Next I'd like to get down to a normal BMI. But that's a big range of weights. Would I be happy with a number at the upper end? Maybe I'll settle for it.0 -
I guess it is all a personal preferene. I am one of those girls that is aiming for what most would call an unhealthy higher weight, or at least out of my BMI range. I want to get to 170. I guess once I get there I can reevaluate, but that is what I weighed when i graduated high school and I had all the confidence I needed and I felt sexy. I think I truly belong in the time of Marilyn Monroe when it was socially acceptable and even coveted to be curvy, and have a little bit of meat to them. I have a large chest, butt, and hips and prefer it that way. The chest and but can and maybe will shrink, but my hips are most likely not going to change- big hips run in my family- and dropping down to low in weight, I feel is going to make my hips look weird. I dont think that it is okay to just eat whatever and let yourself go completely but what good does it do to try and explain it to someone who doesnt care about themselves already.,
I dont consider this my journey to weight loss, I consider this my journey to my happy body, and if that happens to be 20 pounds heavier than my BMI says I should be then it is going to be 20 lbs heavier than my BMI. Good question tho
Marilyn monroe has a 23" waist and I think 38" hips btw. She was curvy but not big by any means. She just had a very exaggerated hourglass figure.0 -
So if I'm capable of running an ultra marathon but I prefer to only run a regular marathon, does that mean I'm settling? I mean, c'mon. Just because someone CAN do something doesn't mean they are settling just because they don't WANT to do it, or choose NOT to do it.
ETA: My post is basically in reference to someone who is technically healthy, just not as healthy as they could be. As far as why someone who is unhealthy and happy about it, well that I can't answer for you.0 -
I guess it is all a personal preferene. I am one of those girls that is aiming for what most would call an unhealthy higher weight, or at least out of my BMI range. I want to get to 170. I guess once I get there I can reevaluate, but that is what I weighed when i graduated high school and I had all the confidence I needed and I felt sexy. I think I truly belong in the time of Marilyn Monroe when it was socially acceptable and even coveted to be curvy, and have a little bit of meat to them. I have a large chest, butt, and hips and prefer it that way. The chest and but can and maybe will shrink, but my hips are most likely not going to change- big hips run in my family- and dropping down to low in weight, I feel is going to make my hips look weird. I dont think that it is okay to just eat whatever and let yourself go completely but what good does it do to try and explain it to someone who doesnt care about themselves already.,
I dont consider this my journey to weight loss, I consider this my journey to my happy body, and if that happens to be 20 pounds heavier than my BMI says I should be then it is going to be 20 lbs heavier than my BMI. Good question tho
Marilyn monroe has a 23" waist and I think 38" hips btw. She was curvy but not big by any means. She just had a very exaggerated hourglass figure.
I have the same figure, big hips, big chest, and little waist. If I take off a few inches then I would have close to the same figure that she did. I guess I should have clarified it to say that that is the figure I was shooting for, I love the style of this circle skirts from the 50's... especially the rockabilly style. Thanks for the info tho 0 -
I don't see it as settling for me. When I look back on my life, I was happiest in my life and with my body at a size 6/8. I wasn't too thin, but not big. Still had a flat stomach and thin thighs. My husband married me at 180 and he loves me the way I am. He just encourages me to be happy with myself, but he does not want me to lose my curves either. My goal is to be fit and happy, but not to take it to an extreme. A 6 pack and a size 2 has never been in my dreams. If I feel good and look good and am healthy and active, I will be happy at whatever number I end up at.0
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Just wanted to mention that I wasnt trying to pick on you if it came across that way. I just see a lot of people saying she was a size 14 and passing along misinformation. I wish I had that figure though lol lucky youI guess it is all a personal preferene. I am one of those girls that is aiming for what most would call an unhealthy higher weight, or at least out of my BMI range. I want to get to 170. I guess once I get there I can reevaluate, but that is what I weighed when i graduated high school and I had all the confidence I needed and I felt sexy. I think I truly belong in the time of Marilyn Monroe when it was socially acceptable and even coveted to be curvy, and have a little bit of meat to them. I have a large chest, butt, and hips and prefer it that way. The chest and but can and maybe will shrink, but my hips are most likely not going to change- big hips run in my family- and dropping down to low in weight, I feel is going to make my hips look weird. I dont think that it is okay to just eat whatever and let yourself go completely but what good does it do to try and explain it to someone who doesnt care about themselves already.,
I dont consider this my journey to weight loss, I consider this my journey to my happy body, and if that happens to be 20 pounds heavier than my BMI says I should be then it is going to be 20 lbs heavier than my BMI. Good question tho
Marilyn monroe has a 23" waist and I think 38" hips btw. She was curvy but not big by any means. She just had a very exaggerated hourglass figure.
I have the same figure, big hips, big chest, and little waist. If I take off a few inches then I would have close to the same figure that she did. I guess I should have clarified it to say that that is the figure I was shooting for, I love the style of this circle skirts from the 50's... especially the rockabilly style. Thanks for the info tho0
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