Guys need your opinions! Relationships?

during school I was very shy and self consious. A lot of the time I was told it was not because I was unattractive, but because I didnt have ANY confidence. Once you gain that, you will see the changes. People will notice you. Be more open and have fun! Trust me I was going through the same thing!

This is super true! I am probably what you would consider not that attractive - yet I managed to find a great, athletic model/entrepreneur a couple of years ago. At first our relationship was great - then I started to second doubt myself and became overly conscious and shy about certain things and he caught wind. After awhile, we ended up breaking up and it was because of me. I sabotaged my relationship because I didn't have that confidence and openess he initially saw. My confidence and just general fun, dwindled down. Second guessed myself and look where I'm at. Big lesson learned there. Have fun, open up and there will be possibilities!

Confident women are attractive. When a guy looks at you, hold his stare and smile. Don't just flash a smile and look away quickly. Unless of course you get a serial killer vibe from him. Then you should go to the bathroom and climb through the window. I want a strong woman on my arm, not a girl who looks at the ground and shuffles her feet. You are who you are, own it.

You may be smiling but are you actually making eye contact? You don't have to be pushy or overly outgoing but work on making eye contact. This lets a guy know you are open to being approached. Guys are terrified of rejection. After my sister divorced (she is very pretty and outgoing by the way) she told me guys didn't seem interested in her. I gave her this advice. She tried it and had more attention than she could handle.

MFP should have some sort of "like" function.

All of the above.

What's worse, is for some of us it's not the fear of rejection...it's not wanting to put a girl through the trouble of dealing with someone she has no interest in dealing with. If you see someone you like, follow the above advice. I know it would reel me in.

Thanks Anya!!! I'm just being real. Sometimes being single isn't easy; but I'd rather be single and happy than settle and miserable!!!!

^^^ Hells, friggin, yes. Being in a relationship is so overrated.

That being said, yes, unfortunately it might be because youre a bit shy. Everyone is attracted to confidence, that's how us girls keep ending up with douchbags lol.

Casey, your such a sweetheart! I wish there were more guys like you!(:

Thanks Anya!!! I'm just being real. Sometimes being single isn't easy; but I'd rather be single and happy than settle and miserable!!!!

Good advice

Thanks Anya!!! I'm just being real. Sometimes being single isn't easy; but I'd rather be single and happy than settle and miserable!!!!

^^^ Hells, friggin, yes. Being in a relationship is so overrated.

That being said, yes, unfortunately it might be because youre a bit shy. Everyone is attracted to confidence, that's how us girls keep ending up with douchbags lol.

Lol!

That totally makes sense. You all make good points. I think the confidence thing is probably the main reason.. But I'm getting better! And I'm always smiling so that can't be it.
I've dated a guy on and off for 6 years so I just feel like when a guy sees me he automatically thinks oh no she's looking for a long term relationship! RUN! Haha & I also am in college and don't drink or anything so I'm not "easy" like all the other women. But damn would I love to meet a genuine guy!

I'm an introvert by nature. I turn into an extrovert at the same ratio as I am comfortable with the people i'm with. If i'm not comfortable with the people im with, I stay introverted. If i'm really comfortable with the people i'm with, say friends i've know for a while, i'm extroverted. This has nothing to do with my confidence level. I'm 100% confident in myself. I'm just quietly confident Which means, like you said...i'm taken in a totally different way then i'd like. I'm noticed, but quickly ignored for other extroverts. But in a way, I kinda think that's a good thing depending on the situation.

I agree with Aroby! you are what you attract. If you're happy with who you are then just continue to be yourself and someone he'll come around your way usually when you least expect it.

I don't have a problem with shy girls, I think most guys think it's cute. Just have to be careful, some look at that as easy targets to take advantage of.

I'm not a guy but I may have some insight, because you sound like me.

I am shy too. I've had tons of guys get to know me and then tell me that at first, they thought I was stuck up. I am pretty attractive (like you, not trying to be arrogant here), so I think that makes us less approachable because good looks can sometimes be intimidating to a man. So pair attractiveness with shyness, and a guy may automatically think you are stuck up. Even if that's not the case, they at least may not view you as approachable.

My advice to you is to ALWAYS smile. I think a lot of times girls don't even realize what face they are making and that the look on their face comes across as negative, so always be cognizant of your facial expressions. This will help guys feel like you are more approachable. Even if you're shy and get nervous about talking, the least you can do is always make eye contact and smile at people. Practice doing this to every woman you see everywhere you go (work, the store, etc.) and it will eventually feel more comfortable to do it to the men.

Do you know the girls these boys are dating? I dunno, they may seem unattractive and trashy to you, but that's pretty harsh. It's entirely possible they have good personalities, or are very confident with themselves ... which in my experience is a huge factor.

And as a side note, I just wanna say, we share a name, Anya! It's weird when I see other people with my name ... haha.

Anya was a demon on Buffy too, a demon that punished men who scorned women.

Hmm...

Every male is different. My motto always was that the right person will come along...relationships are like wine. The longer you wait, the better it is.

And coming from a lesbian point of view, I think you're gorgeous. Don't let any situation drain your confidence, okay? You'll find someone worth it. Don't slow down for anybody; don't settle for second-best. Find someone to run alongside you.

MFP should have some sort of "like" function.

YES I AGREE on this...I keep thinking of the "LIKE" button

and i like this post, i can relate to it. Ive always been shy and lacked confidence, i have lots of male friends but never dated one nor had a boyfriend, Im gaining my confidence and get approached now unlike before

TO the MEN IN MFP: Hi! Im single and ready to mingle hahahahaha

I like a girl that can have fun and enjoy my sense of humor. They also need to have an energetic and not shy attitude. A girl that shows confidence and drive always gets the guy!!

So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that.

whups...
when you see guys who you think are attractive with women who you think are not attractive... there must be something you are missing. Something that isn't apparent from looking. This something that you can't see from looking is likely the source of beauty. It is why my son says I am the most beautiful person in the world.
These are the things that are beautiful that attract and also (imho) support longer lasting relationships:
confidence, kindness, wit, good sense of humor, giving, loving, caring, Listening, patience, creativity, dependability, loyalty, faithfulness, withholding judgement, humility, trust, depth of character...
things like that. You can't see them from looking.
When you have those sorts of things going on inside, you become beautiful regardless of externals. So... tone up the internal virtues and then go get em!

This is the truth. I've been with women more attractive than me, and less attractive than me. The "total package" is more than you can see by looking.