Guys need your opinions! Relationships?

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13

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  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Thanks Anya!!! I'm just being real. Sometimes being single isn't easy; but I'd rather be single and happy than settle and miserable!!!!

    ^^^ Hells, friggin, yes. Being in a relationship is so overrated.

    That being said, yes, unfortunately it might be because youre a bit shy. Everyone is attracted to confidence, that's how us girls keep ending up with douchbags lol.

    Lol!
  • Dahllywood
    Dahllywood Posts: 643 Member
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    I personally think shy is attractive, maybe cause I'm the same way. I don't like girls who are all over the place and worried about all the attention they get.
    However, it is a turn on for me personally when a girl makes a move or approaches instead of waiting to be approached.

    Don't worry about it and just do you :)
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    That totally makes sense. You all make good points. I think the confidence thing is probably the main reason.. But I'm getting better! And I'm always smiling so that can't be it.
    I've dated a guy on and off for 6 years so I just feel like when a guy sees me he automatically thinks oh no she's looking for a long term relationship! RUN! Haha & I also am in college and don't drink or anything so I'm not "easy" like all the other women. But damn would I love to meet a genuine guy!

    I'm an introvert by nature. I turn into an extrovert at the same ratio as I am comfortable with the people i'm with. If i'm not comfortable with the people im with, I stay introverted. If i'm really comfortable with the people i'm with, say friends i've know for a while, i'm extroverted. This has nothing to do with my confidence level. I'm 100% confident in myself. I'm just quietly confident :) Which means, like you said...i'm taken in a totally different way then i'd like. I'm noticed, but quickly ignored for other extroverts. But in a way, I kinda think that's a good thing depending on the situation.
  • pdj1220
    pdj1220 Posts: 175
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    I really need your opinions.. Serious replies only please.

    So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that. Then you have girls like me who are shy and conservative. Ya and I can't seem to find a guy or relationship.

    I guess my question is are guys bothered by this? Am I not approachable? (not trying to be arrogant but, it's definitely not because I'm not attractive,).

    Im just wondering what goes through your head when you see an attractive yet quiet and conservative woman?
    Just speaking generally, and maybe about me a little. Could it be that we are so busy noticing the couples that we fail to notice the quiet conservative person sitting alone?
  • honeybfly002
    honeybfly002 Posts: 35
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    I agree with Aroby! you are what you attract. If you're happy with who you are then just continue to be yourself and someone he'll come around your way usually when you least expect it.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    what really makes someone like someone else? common intrests, attraction, personality. maybe the people you have meet just didnt fit into what they want out of a relationship and someone else did. no real answer. so cliche_ but you need to find someone who is right for you. girls who are really outgoing will usually get the guy, but in my experience that guy isnt worth it and will prolly cheat on them etc. (if we are thinking about the same type of girls) i can be both super shy or super outgoing depends on where im at, but if i have something in common with someone and can start talking to them chances are a spark will hapen. in girls i tend to only knotice the outgoing ones because im to shy :p
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 798 Member
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    I don't have a problem with shy girls, I think most guys think it's cute. Just have to be careful, some look at that as easy targets to take advantage of.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I don't have a problem with shy girls, I think most guys think it's cute. Just have to be careful, some look at that as easy targets to take advantage of.

    Absolutely.
  • KBGirts
    KBGirts Posts: 882 Member
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    I'm not a guy but I may have some insight, because you sound like me.

    I am shy too. I've had tons of guys get to know me and then tell me that at first, they thought I was stuck up. I am pretty attractive (like you, not trying to be arrogant here), so I think that makes us less approachable because good looks can sometimes be intimidating to a man. So pair attractiveness with shyness, and a guy may automatically think you are stuck up. Even if that's not the case, they at least may not view you as approachable.

    My advice to you is to ALWAYS smile. I think a lot of times girls don't even realize what face they are making and that the look on their face comes across as negative, so always be cognizant of your facial expressions. This will help guys feel like you are more approachable. Even if you're shy and get nervous about talking, the least you can do is always make eye contact and smile at people. Practice doing this to every woman you see everywhere you go (work, the store, etc.) and it will eventually feel more comfortable to do it to the men.
  • greatthursday
    greatthursday Posts: 19
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    Do you know the girls these boys are dating? I dunno, they may seem unattractive and trashy to you, but that's pretty harsh. It's entirely possible they have good personalities, or are very confident with themselves ... which in my experience is a huge factor.

    And as a side note, I just wanna say, we share a name, Anya! It's weird when I see other people with my name ... haha.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Do you know the girls these boys are dating? I dunno, they may seem unattractive and trashy to you, but that's pretty harsh. It's entirely possible they have good personalities, or are very confident with themselves ... which in my experience is a huge factor.

    And as a side note, I just wanna say, we share a name, Anya! It's weird when I see other people with my name ... haha.

    Anya was a demon on Buffy too, a demon that punished men who scorned women.

    Hmm...
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
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    My advice to you is to ALWAYS smile.

    Yeah, just make sure you don't look "out of it" if you aren't smiling at a specific person though.
  • Ariberri9
    Ariberri9 Posts: 206 Member
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    Every male is different. My motto always was that the right person will come along...relationships are like wine. The longer you wait, the better it is.

    And coming from a lesbian point of view, I think you're gorgeous. Don't let any situation drain your confidence, okay? You'll find someone worth it. Don't slow down for anybody; don't settle for second-best. Find someone to run alongside you.
  • queenbcronen
    queenbcronen Posts: 158 Member
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    I have waited 3 years to date... seriously. I just got into a relationship and it is someone I've know for 3 years. I always turned him down. Especially after I got "fat". He knew me when I was thin too. I finally decided to give it a chance. He has been so amazing to me and thinks I'm beautiful even though I'm heavier now. He knows I'm working on my health and respects that. I've always had a "pretty face" and relied on it. Even though shy, I still attracted men. Unfortunately 99% of the time it was the wrong ones.
  • LFiestan
    LFiestan Posts: 176 Member
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    MFP should have some sort of "like" function.

    YES I AGREE on this...I keep thinking of the "LIKE" button

    and i like this post, i can relate to it. Ive always been shy and lacked confidence, i have lots of male friends but never dated one nor had a boyfriend, Im gaining my confidence and get approached now unlike before :)

    TO the MEN IN MFP: Hi! Im single and ready to mingle hahahahaha :D
  • lisamyershb
    lisamyershb Posts: 32 Member
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    This was wonderful advice!
  • kgprice11
    kgprice11 Posts: 750 Member
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    I like a girl that can have fun and enjoy my sense of humor. They also need to have an energetic and not shy attitude. A girl that shows confidence and drive always gets the guy!!
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Shyness/Lack of confidence is usually mistaken for disinterest.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that.
    whups...
    when you see guys who you think are attractive with women who you think are not attractive... there must be something you are missing. Something that isn't apparent from looking. This something that you can't see from looking is likely the source of beauty. It is why my son says I am the most beautiful person in the world.
    These are the things that are beautiful that attract and also (imho) support longer lasting relationships:
    confidence, kindness, wit, good sense of humor, giving, loving, caring, Listening, patience, creativity, dependability, loyalty, faithfulness, withholding judgement, humility, trust, depth of character...
    things like that. You can't see them from looking.
    When you have those sorts of things going on inside, you become beautiful regardless of externals. So... tone up the internal virtues and then go get em!





    This is the truth. I've been with women more attractive than me, and less attractive than me. The "total package" is more than you can see by looking.
  • tweakz20
    tweakz20 Posts: 152 Member
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    Where a shirt that says "I'M SINGLE AND APPROACHABLE," because that's a sign I can understand. I've gotten turned down a lot in the past, and not even the simple turn down. It's the kind that makes it awkward to see eachother from across the room. So I'm very hesitant to try. Plus I'm shy. And the American culture is very unfriendly. When a stranger says "hi" to you and tries to have a conversation it seems odd.
    I've tried online dating and it works out a lot better for the girls than guys... about 1% of my messages get replied to, and of that, only a few result in a first date. As for the girls, they have to sift through hundreds of emails and can be very picky.

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