I feel really sad now

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cheshirekat
cheshirekat Posts: 126 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Usually, I am pretty good with my diet. I want to eat things that are good for me that give me fuel. But a lot of times I feel deprived and also want something sweet. Well I found out, that under the right conditions, apparently I just snap and binge a whole lot!

So it started with a bad choice I made on Wednesday to go hang out with my friends even though I had to work the next day, and I did something stupid, I had coffee which I usually just drink tea and don't drink a lot of caffeine. So we were up and we got a little silly and watched scary movies and it was pretty fun. It was 3am by the time I was heading home, so filled with fatigue and wanting to stay awake I decided to stop at the gas station and grab another coffee, except this time my willpower was diminished and I bought a pumpkin spice 12oz cappuccino and put 2 pumpkin spice creamer packets in there. It was really sugary and good, though it kind of made me sick a little and it burned my mouth top off cuz i drank it too fast. I also ate a small chocolate chip muffin ugh.

Well I felt sooo guilty about that! I was depressed, on the internet when I got home recording it and just beating myself up mentally. So I made another dumb decision to stay up all night instead of sleeping and go on a 9 mile run in the morning. Which I did, and it felt great and I was really happy. I was even really happy at work all day. But when I got for some reason, I was tired sore and upset.

I ate a sandwich thin sandwich with peanut butter and some nutella that I didn't even measure with banana and I just devoured it. Then I ate another one!!

Now that wouldn't have been so bad except I woke up in the middle of the night and ate another one when I was so tired I almost felt drunk. I don't know what came over me. I feel so depressed right now and sad, I called off work today to sleep more and I feel like such a shmoe for not taking care of myself and getting proper nutrition and sleep.

The small of my back area is really sore and I just want to relax. But I feel so depressed and for some reason have the urge to binge on even more food. chocolate in particular. As soon as I woke up I had a weight watchers chocolate ice cream bar and a south beach diet high protein chocolate cereal bar. I find those names a little funny reading them over. I know I should eventually eat something, but I can't seem to kick the craving. All I can think about is peanut butter and nutella for some reason. I must be going crazy!

Replies

  • cmariep
    cmariep Posts: 2
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    don't worry. You're not alone! I've got the same problem. I eat when I'm stressed, sad, even bored. It gets me every single time. Keep working hard and try to stop and think right before you decide eat something that might help a little
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    I get like that sometimes, you make a mistake and then bounce between beating yourself up over it and getting so depressed you just eat yourself sick. Right now you just need move on and forget about this past week. You ate things you hadnt planned on, stayed up all night and then went on a 9 mile run. you were exaughsted & sore by the time you got home, and still felt bad about the day before so you had more junk, but really they werent THAT bad. the snadwhiches may have been higher in calories but they were healthy foods so its not like you binged at burger king!

    And since you're craving pb & nutella i'd plan some into your diet, maybe top just one arnolds thin with them, its got whole grains & protein, not too shabby for breakfast.

    For now relax with a cup of (decaf!) tea and distract yourself with a book or a movie or something.
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Usually, I am pretty good with my diet. I want to eat things that are good for me that give me fuel. But a lot of times I feel deprived and also want something sweet. Well I found out, that under the right conditions, apparently I just snap and binge a whole lot!

    So it started with a bad choice I made on Wednesday to go hang out with my friends even though I had to work the next day, and I did something stupid, I had coffee which I usually just drink tea and don't drink a lot of caffeine. So we were up and we got a little silly and watched scary movies and it was pretty fun. It was 3am by the time I was heading home, so filled with fatigue and wanting to stay awake I decided to stop at the gas station and grab another coffee, except this time my willpower was diminished and I bought a pumpkin spice 12oz cappuccino and put 2 pumpkin spice creamer packets in there. It was really sugary and good, though it kind of made me sick a little and it burned my mouth top off cuz i drank it too fast. I also ate a small chocolate chip muffin ugh.

    Well I felt sooo guilty about that! I was depressed, on the internet when I got home recording it and just beating myself up mentally. So I made another dumb decision to stay up all night instead of sleeping and go on a 9 mile run in the morning. Which I did, and it felt great and I was really happy. I was even really happy at work all day. But when I got for some reason, I was tired sore and upset.

    I ate a sandwich thin sandwich with peanut butter and some nutella that I didn't even measure with banana and I just devoured it. Then I ate another one!!

    Now that wouldn't have been so bad except I woke up in the middle of the night and ate another one when I was so tired I almost felt drunk. I don't know what came over me. I feel so depressed right now and sad, I called off work today to sleep more and I feel like such a shmoe for not taking care of myself and getting proper nutrition and sleep.

    The small of my back area is really sore and I just want to relax. But I feel so depressed and for some reason have the urge to binge on even more food. chocolate in particular. As soon as I woke up I had a weight watchers chocolate ice cream bar and a south beach diet high protein chocolate cereal bar. I find those names a little funny reading them over. I know I should eventually eat something, but I can't seem to kick the craving. All I can think about is peanut butter and nutella for some reason. I must be going crazy!

    I know the feeling, I have been off the wagon all week and like you, one failure just makes me depressed and leads to the next failure. Has anything big changed in your life recently? I just started back to school, so I think the stress is the culprit behind my behavior. My TOM is also due soon. I'm trying to convince myself that I am human and after a year and a half that it's pretty good I have only fallen off the wagon like this twice.

    It's amazes me after all this time I am STILL working out regularily and eating right most of the time, and aside from going back up a pound now and then, I have lost what I have lost and kept it off. So I think it's perfectly human to fall down now and again, but the true test is whether or not you get back up. I plan on getting back up on Monday, how about you? Funny how I can give other people advice but not myself.
  • jlefton1212
    jlefton1212 Posts: 171 Member
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    It sounds like you are on a sugar cycle! Sugar peps a person up, and then you crash and crave more sugar. I've noticed in my own life that when I am tired, that is when I am most likely to fall off of my diet in a major way -- I crave sugar and caffeine, and then it starts repeating if I give in to those urges.

    Try to eat a balanced meal ... protein, veggies, and some whole grains. This should help even out your blood sugar. Even though you may have consumed a lot of calories, you haven't had much nutrition and your body is probably really hungry and craving fuel. Don't feed this craving with more sugar, or you are going to be continually hungry!

    Best of luck to you.
  • deekennedy33
    deekennedy33 Posts: 20 Member
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    You need to get plenty of sleep. Sleep deprived will cause you to eat more and get depressed.

    Once you take care of your sleep, you'll be ok again.

    Take care:smile:
    Dee
  • JESS2B115
    JESS2B115 Posts: 14
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    I KNOW ABOUT THE SLEEP DEPRIVED THING. I HAVE A 4YR OLD 4 YR OLD AND 1 YR OLD WHO ALL WAKE UP AT LEAST 3 TIMES EACH A NIGHT. MY FIANCE IS LIKE A DEAD PERSON WHEN HE SLEEPS I ALMOST HAVE TO SLAP HIM TO WAKE HIM UP SO I GET UP WITH THEM EVERYTIME. I REALLY NEED SOMETHING FOR ENERGY. ANY IDEAS?
  • TCASMEY
    TCASMEY Posts: 1,405 Member
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    I agree about getting enough sleep. When I am tired I find myself munching for no reason and craving things that are not really good for me. That being said it is fine to let yourself have some indulgences once in awhile. Just not all the time and try to make them small indulgences.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    ugh I don't know what is it with this week....but I have been in the same situation. The other day i had logged all my meals and snacks and still overdid it. last night i went to subway and bought a foot long, thinking i wud split it with my room mate and ate the whole thing! afterwards I was so full my tummy hurt. wat an idiot! i shudnt have done that. but today is another day. and i'm trying to get back ON the wagon
  • porterbaby38
    porterbaby38 Posts: 1,401
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    i'm the same way for the last three days. i've been off my diet. i need to get back to getting my goal. i fixed homemade chili and had taco pizza from pizza hut the other night. even though i still work out. i still gained about 6lbs. i need to lose those terrible lbs. so i can get to my goal.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    At the age of about 15 you get the stamina to stay up all night,,, and about the age of 23 you get the wisdom and experience to realize that it's a really dumb thing to do :laugh:

    There's a wild couple of years in there, ain't it? Enjoy it while it lasts.
  • cheshirekat
    cheshirekat Posts: 126 Member
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    I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for the things you have said here in this post, i just feel so much better to know that there are others going through the same thing and no one here is judging me for this. I appreciate the things everyone has said and I am glad that I made this post, even though it was really putting myself out there which I don't usually do. Thank you all so much for helping me to keep things in perspective.

    My life is kind of in a huge transition period right now with working all the time to save money for college which starts in january, all kinds of financial aid and scholarship deadlines as well as participating in a dinner theatre play I joined before I had a job and trying to make time for fun things like salsa dancing, hanging out with my family and friends, and just relaxing and reading. Plus I just got out of a 4 year engagement and things are just so different now, i guess that is a good thing though since my life is much healthier now. But sometimes it all gets a little overwhelming.

    :flowerforyou: Anyway, thanks so much for commenting, it really has helped me tremendously :flowerforyou:

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