Is Jealousy Keeping Me Fat....?
Diary_Queen
Posts: 1,314 Member
I often wonder just how much stress hormones I'm carrying around most days. I see people making such massive progress, people's progress pics that show so much improvement, people restarting and resetting their tickers. Lately, I feel so jealous of these people. Of course, I'm motivated... but it's only the same amount of motivation I had last week and last month. Everything feels 'old hat'. My weight loss feels stagnant. Well, honestly, it IS stagnant. I haven't lost hardly any weight in nearly 6 months. Perhaps I miss the kudos. I know that I'm extraordinarily jealous of the people I see that have always been naturally slimmer than I am. I do love myself, but I get tired of seeing the same old thing in the mirror. What will I do to change that you ask? I don't know. I'll do something.... but I do have this sneaking suspicion that my jealousy of others and my comparison of myself to others is another stress that isn't needed. I wish I felt differently some days. But in all honesty, every day, I look through the Success Stories and compare myself to people who have lost more weight than I have. It's an ugly truth, but it's true. I may lose some MFP friends over this post, but this is an emotion that bugs me and I want it out there. I've lost 86 lbs. in 17 months. Everyone congratulates me on that and I'm not very proud of it. I think I could have done better. People want to say 'oh, give yourself a break...it's not a marathon....it will take time'. I don't want a break. I don't want to cut myself some slack. I want to push harder than I think I'm capable of pushing. I want to hit my goal weight in the next couple of years, not in 10 years. Being this heavy feels like I'm holding myself in a prison and I WANT OUT! So, yes, I'm that girl... the one that sneers at herself in the mirror and thinks that nothing looks right on her changing body. I'm the girl that sees success posts about 100 lbs. lost and beats herself up emotionally for not being able to post the same thing. I'm the girl that is damn well tired of being this freakin FAT.
Sometimes I drive my own self crazy.
Sometimes I drive my own self crazy.
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I think it's natural for people to be a little jealous (even a lot jealous) over other peoples progress, but you have to remember that you are YOU and they aren't. You have accomplished so much in your own way and to compare yourself to the efforts of others is unfair to everyone involved.
I personally don't think I'm ever going to see anything other than a fat girl when I look at myself in the mirror, but I'm starting to like myself more, and that's one thing I'm glad about throughout this journey.0 -
I always say that getting healthy is 30% diet and exercise and 70% MINDSET.
This is why I started blogging so much and I love that feature on MFP.
I write about these feelings, and try to address them individually and see how I can proactively change my thought processes to be more productive and less self-destructive.
It's super common and a lot of times people don't realize how much their mindset plays into the whole getting-healthy thing.
You want to get your BODY healthy, but in order to do that your MIND has to be healthy too. Your opinion of yourself... all that.0 -
bump0
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Sounds like you are in a funk. We all get there from time to time. I have been at this for almost three months now. I constantly look for results more than what I see on the scale. We all criticize ourselves and look at others sometimes envying what they have done. Remember they had a journey and that journey was tough. A lot of the success stories I read on here have taken over a year. These people worked hard and experienced highs and lows. The important thing is that they kept at it. So please keep at it. Use these stories for motivation and one day you will post your own.0
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I feel the same way ~ wow! It's like you got inside my head & pulled out my deepest, darkest thoughts!0
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Whoa, holy crap you've lost 86 lbs???
That's nothing to shrug at. That's an amazing accomplishment. Don't downplay your success, gurl.
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Your weight loss is phenomenal. Just think of how far you've come. There is no reason to compare yourself to someone else. Everyone has different goals they want to meet and obstacles they run into. Be proud of you because you've accomplished what so many wish they could!0
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I lose weight slower than others also. I recently upped my calories and it seems to be helping, Ive already lost two pounds this week. Maybe you could try that. I don't really have any advice except maybe you could hire a nutrionalist or a trainer that can push you harder than you push yourself. I'm sorry you feel that way, I wish I was more help.0
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I hope that opening up and getting this feeling off your chest will help alleviate some of the stress that it causes you.0
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:ohwell:
Not sure what you what us to say? I just peeked at your diary. Seems okay. I quite sure someone will come in here and pick apart...add more veggies and fruits...cut this and that. Maybe change up the exercise you are doing.0 -
I do think that you are too hard on yourself. The way I see it you're only 14lbs away from posting your 100lbs success story ;-). Thats a lot closer than me and a lot of people on here. You have done extremely well and I know for sure you will loose over 100lbs if you keep at it.0
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I think we all compare, and it isn't a stress that we need. I find that when I am able to get off my *kitten* and walk or really work myself out I feel GREAT because I know my body is changing!! There is no way that it isnt. I haven't been on a scale in two week, but I don't care because I did Weight Watchers and that scale did nothing but tear me down most of the time... like one giant rollercoaster. I find that my clothes are fitting looser, i feel stronger... and that is all that counts. It hurts when you see people droppin four or even two pounds, but don't fret..... because you will too, just keep at it!!! WHen I did weight watchers and spoke up about the scale... an older lady who had lost over 130 pounds said to me "My body did the same thing every other week and the weeks the scale didn't budge... I lost inches". Its true. Sometimes measuring is better than looking at a number on the scale. People can't see your numbers, but they can see the inches lost. Don't forget that.
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Kudos to you for being honest about your feelings even when they aren't the prettiest. It's definitely not bad or unusual to feel this way, so don't beat yourself up for it. Acknowledge your emotions, let them out to run around in the yard for a while, accept them, then carry on!
I often feel the same way, and when I do I try to remind myself of these things:
1. comparing myself to others is an uphill battle. it's very difficult not to, but it's pointless and self destructive.
2. I've come a LONG way and worked very hard. I may not be where I want to be yet, but that doesn't mean I can't be proud of what I've accomplished. Being proud doesn't mean I'm giving up on my ultimate goals.
3. I will get there. There is no other option.
If you want to be your own drill seargent and push yourself harder than you thought possible, then go for it! There's nothing stoppng you. Just be nice to yourself in the process. 0 -
I feel the same way ~ wow! It's like you got inside my head & pulled out my deepest, darkest thoughts!
Me too. When you have such large amounts to lose, it's just...overwhelming sometimes.0 -
I feel that way all the time. But i try to stay positive, because I would hate to give up now and then look back a year from now and ask myself where would I be if I had stayed on this path 40 50lbs lighter instead of the same or worse gained. Stay positive and keep pushing. Eating right and exercise can only make you better, I know you want it faster, but your body IS changing whether you see/believe it or not. You havent given up yet, and that already shows how strong you are. SO, Keep up the great work,!!! 86lbs down is awesome, cant wait til I can say I have lost even half that amount. :flowerforyou:0
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I was the same way... It took me 6 years to lose 100 pounds. I would sit in the Weight Watchers meeting and see people being recognized for their weight loss, reaching their goal, and achieving Lifetime status. And a lot of times, I would sit in the back row with tears in my eyes wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't lose weight. That I didn't have the same drive and motivation others had. It was so hard. But I had made a promise to myself when I started that this time I would not quit. And even though during that 6 years I gained weight, lost, gained, lost... eventually the losses were more than the gains I got the weight off.
It's not easy. And it's very hard when you are surrounded by people who are losing weight and getting to goal.
But please, please, please keep plugging away at this. And know in your heart that you will someday be the person that motivates and inspires (and causes jealousy) for someone.
Big {{HUGS}} to you for being so frank and honest with your emotions. :flowerforyou:0 -
I was the same way... It took me 6 years to lose 100 pounds. I would sit in the Weight Watchers meeting and see people being recognized for their weight loss, reaching their goal, and achieving Lifetime status. And a lot of times, I would sit in the back row with tears in my eyes wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't lose weight. That I didn't have the same drive and motivation others had. It was so hard. But I had made a promise to myself when I started that this time I would not quit. And even though during that 6 years I gained weight, lost, gained, lost... eventually the losses were more than the gains I got the weight off.
It's not easy. And it's very hard when you are surrounded by people who are losing weight and getting to goal.
But please, please, please keep plugging away at this. And know in your heart that you will someday be the person that motivates and inspires (and causes jealousy) for someone.
Big {{HUGS}} to you for being so frank and honest with your emotions. :flowerforyou:
Well said...0 -
I'm so glad there are women out there that understand this feeling. I don't like feeling this way, but for now, it's how I feel. Like others, I see people lose weight just by cutting out soda or eating out less often and it gets to me. Some days I feel like I work twice as hard for half the results.
For those that don't exactly understand but are still supportive, thank you very much too!
I'm a type-A personality:
Type A Personality Characteristics & Behaviour
The Type A is an ordinary normal person operating at maximum possible speed. Type A wants to achieve a big goal but thinks that time is very limited and as a result develops the following behavior:
•Exaggerated Sense of time urgency: Since the type A thinks that time is running out and since set goals are too big Type A always races with time.
•Competitiveness: The type A is a very competitive person; considers everything to be a challenge. Type A is very disappointed if goals are not met and they don't 'out do' competitors, even if they are competing against themselves.
•Multitasking: The type A can handle more tasks at the same time than ordinary people . You can easily know that a person is Type A if you found Tyep A involved in at least five unrelated activities while performing well at them all.
•The Price for Over Achievement: Over achievement does not come for free. Type A’s are subject to tremendous amounts of stress. Their life style is the main cause of this stress they suffer from (always running, having lots of things to do & racing with time)0 -
I think it's perfectly natural to be jealous at some points in your life. Not going to lie, when I see people who are in excellent physical shape on here, I get a little jealous too.
My only saving grace is that I know I go out and give it 100% everyday. Some people have a certain genetic disposition that disallows them to have the perfect model like body. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I work out, I'll never have <10% body fat, it's just not in the cards for me.
However, I know I give it my all just about everyday, so I can sleep at night and not have any regret.0 -
I know that feeling.
I get so envious of others weight loss. The scale hasn't moved as fast, or a far as I've been wanting.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like I am doing everything right, but no progress is happening.
I had thought that I would have met my goal by now, but I'm only half way there.
I look in the mirror and frown because I'm not seeing the changes I desperately want to see.
But one thing I do to help push my jealously and negativity away is remind myself that my pulse has gone down, my tummy never gets upset anymore from eating well, and I do feel healthier, and that patience (something I need to remember) is a virtue and to try not to punch patience in the face. lol0 -
I can't figure out how to upload a pic in my reply, but here's the link. We all struggle with comparing ourselves. Truth is we are who we are and we have to set our own goals. If we were all the same this wourld would get boring.
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln7yvndNfB1qlj5q4o1_500.jpg0
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