Negative attitudes everywhere!
HellsKells
Posts: 671 Member
Just when I figure out how to get a handle on my own problems and look at life through a more positive lens, it seems like everyone around me wants to dump their woes on me.
Take it elsewhere, jerkface! I DO have problems of my own that I choose to handle in a way that doesn't drag me down....I don't wanna know about all your problems.
How can I politely tell these people that I don't want to listen to their problems? I mean, I'm a pretty good listener, but I am tired of being a secret keeper and referee for other people!
How do I steer conversations away from that sort of negativity?
Any suggestions?
Take it elsewhere, jerkface! I DO have problems of my own that I choose to handle in a way that doesn't drag me down....I don't wanna know about all your problems.
How can I politely tell these people that I don't want to listen to their problems? I mean, I'm a pretty good listener, but I am tired of being a secret keeper and referee for other people!
How do I steer conversations away from that sort of negativity?
Any suggestions?
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Replies
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Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares!
(sorry, just could not resist being a d!ck here! LOL my apologies)
But seriously, when this happens to me, and I have the no patience or time to provide a listening answer, I just nod and go my own way. During the conversation its painful, but sometimes we do what we gotta do.
Then we give them the quarter.
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I have this problem do, my b/f parents are always at each others necks and I'm always being the middle man who they go to.
I'm sick and tired as i too just don't wanna hear it. But I just bluntly told them it is not my problem it is theirs so they can talk to each other about it. As the problem has nothing to do with me.
Also I can suggest, ignoring them lol, I'm also good at that. I look like I'm listening but I'm really not. (It gets easy to shut it out after you have heard it 100 times)
You can change the subject, or just give them horrible advise back
Hope this helps. But in the end after getting so tired of it I just told both of them to stop talking to me about it.0 -
Do people even know what that means anymore? Do payphones still exist?Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares!0 -
It's your obvious positivity that makes people want to talk to you. . .clearly.0
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This:
It's a repellant for annoying people.0 -
Do people even know what that means anymore? Do payphones still exist?Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares!
We have one where I work but I think it's $0.35 for a call.0 -
I would love to just walk away from these conversations or ignore them, but half of my woes are coming from people I work with who are looking for feedback on how to handle a situation that's become contentious.
I might try tuning them out next time though and just giving the "huh, sounds like a real problem. I don't know what to tell you" answer. It will pain me though, because I'm a "fixer". :laugh:0 -
Yup theres a payphone right outside my apartment actually lol.
Do people even know what that means anymore? Do payphones still exist?Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares!
To the op, just nod and smile and give no input. Or change the subject.0 -
are these people your friends? don't you kind of expect them to listen to you when you're going through something hard? they're clearly asking for your advice or opinion on something they're dealing with...
it's called having a normal relationship with someone.0 -
I'm sorry...did you say something?0
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are these people your friends? don't you kind of expect them to listen to you when you're going through something hard? they're clearly asking for your advice or opinion on something they're dealing with...
it's called having a normal relationship with someone.
actually, it's not my close friends I'm having trouble with, but acquaintances and work colleagues. And even if it WERE a friend, we all have limits.0 -
Try being honest....and say I just take take any negitive attitudes right now...I'm working so hard on myself and staying clear of it!0
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Do people even know what that means anymore? Do payphones still exist?Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares!
yeah Maroon 5 just made a song about it... lol0 -
Put your hands over your ears, close your eyes and start saying really loudly, "I'M NOT LISTENING....LALALALA!!!"
It's not a very helpful response....but you have to admit it would probably work....0 -
Just do what I do when friends call. I just put them on speaker and say "uhhuh" "I agree", "thats sad"' "what are u gonna do about it?" , "you're right to feel that way", oh and my favorite "just do what makes you happy" . I just wait for that pause to insert these words. That way you're engaged without contributing
hehehehe 0 -
Try being honest....and say I just take take any negitive attitudes right now...I'm working so hard on myself and staying clear of it!
^this. And if is just co-workers I would say I don't really want to get involved with it.0 -
Just do what I do when friends call. I just put them on speaker and say "uhhuh" "I agree", "thats sad"' "what are u gonna do about it?" , "you're right to feel that way", oh and my favorite "just do what makes you happy" . I just wait for that pause to insert these words. That way you're engaged without contributing hehehehe
hahaha....good strategy.0 -
I have the same situation at work..every morning there is a little pow wow where everyone *****es for about an hour..I just walk away and go find something to do. I have to work with them, but I do not have to be their friends. I'm not gonna get dragged down by other people's bad energy.0
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Put your hands over your ears, close your eyes and start saying really loudly, "I'M NOT LISTENING....LALALALA!!!"
It's not a very helpful response....but you have to admit it would probably work....
lol...you're right..it probably would.0 -
I feel you. I had to be honest with some people and just tell them, hey if I'm always feeding you, who's feeding me? As in your draining me and I have to take care of me first and foremost.0
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I just don't join in. I just listen, sort of. When they finish, I just kinda say, "Yeah, I don't know. People are people." or something stupid like that, and walk away. It's the nicest way I know to do it. LOL. But, it works. And, eventually, they'll stop because you don't participate. They are looking for someone to play the "woe is me" game. If you don't play, they lose interest in you. It's a win-win.0
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Put your hands over your ears, close your eyes and start saying really loudly, "I'M NOT LISTENING....LALALALA!!!"
It's not a very helpful response....but you have to admit it would probably work....
If that doesn't work, look away, tune them out, and go. "uh huh" every 2 minutes....they just want to talk anyway. they don't actually care if you are really listening or not.0 -
Try being honest....and say I just take take any negitive attitudes right now...I'm working so hard on myself and staying clear of it!
^this. And if is just co-workers I would say I don't really want to get involved with it.
I have made my discontent about being involved abundantly clear to my boss, but for right now, unfortunately, I am stuck in it.0 -
I just don't join in. I just listen, sort of. When they finish, I just kinda say, "Yeah, I don't know. People are people." or something stupid like that, and walk away. It's the nicest way I know to do it. LOL. But, it works. And, eventually, they'll stop because you don't participate. They are looking for someone to play the "woe is me" game. If you don't play, they lose interest in you. It's a win-win.
Nice. Yeah, I need to be more aloof.0 -
Just tell them to kiss your soon to be skinny butt.0
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start talking about soccer.
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Since most people don't really want solutions to their problems, just someone to listen to, don't bother absorbing what they're saying. Smile and nod, nod and smile.
Or, if you're on the phone, set your kitchen timer for two minutes, stand nearby, and when it dings, you have to get the ____ out of the oven, and, "Oh, crap... it's burning. I'll call you back later."0 -
start talking about soccer.
Haha....that's a good way for them to tune ME out. 0 -
Put your hands over your ears, close your eyes and start saying really loudly, "I'M NOT LISTENING....LALALALA!!!"
It's not a very helpful response....but you have to admit it would probably work....
Best. Answer. Ever. This is my new life strategy, it cannot fail!0 -
are these people your friends? don't you kind of expect them to listen to you when you're going through something hard? they're clearly asking for your advice or opinion on something they're dealing with...
it's called having a normal relationship with someone.
actually, it's not my close friends I'm having trouble with, but acquaintances and work colleagues. And even if it WERE a friend, we all have limits.
YES we def have our limits! But since they are colleagues, its a lot easier to get rid of them.. I just pretend im working really hard at my desk looking at my papers or comp screen, then look up and give them the look like "hey muther pucker.. you're bugging!!!" I give that look all the time, I guess Im good at it haha0
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