All I can see is FAT

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seantugers2
seantugers2 Posts: 16
in Motivation and Support
am i alone here?... so to date i have lost 50lbs. i have another 40 to go. all my clothes are falling off of me and people keep complementing me left and right. so i know my body has dramatically changed. he's the thing, when i look in the mirror all i see is fat. I cannot seem to get past the ugly and see the beauty that i have been working on for months. doesn't anyone else feel this way?? any advice on what i can do to help me see the me that everyone else is seeing?
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Replies

  • TaushasJourney
    TaushasJourney Posts: 143
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    I have struggled with this too. I think it's pretty common, really. I had to really think about the mental image I had of what I should look like, and be more realistic with myself. Being 30 lbs overweight without a vigorous workout schedule, it's unfair of me to think that I should look like a supermodel. Also, my height, skeletal structure & my body's natural tendencies of where to store fat/put on muscle will give my body a unique shape & look all its own, no matter where I'm at in my journey. It's unfair of me to determine what I "should" look like by referencing pictures of people who aren't me!

    It may be helpful to seek counseling to help work through these feelings about your body.
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    The last comment I made on my timeline was about THIS!! I brought a new dress, size large & I'm swimming in it, but I just can't bring myself to start trying on mediums! Also, when I look in the mirror, I still see the fatter me. I have to look at photos or actually touch my body to notice that yes, I have lost almost 60 pounds since my highest weigh. This is so sad!!
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    I am the same way!!!! I've lost 64 lbs, I have 41.4 to go and I still see the exact same me in the mirror!!!!!! I think it's very strange...like oh this shirt is wayyyy to big???? Why? Lol. Then again I was the same way when I was getting bigger! Like this shirt is small on me? Must've shrunk in the wash. Oh, most of my shirts are small??? Hmmm...Lol. I honestly can't see a different me no matter what. Pictures help some. They don't lie. Like when I used to see them of the old me and think "it's just a bad picture, I'm not that big." and now I see a picture (the one in my box thing is newer) I feel proud. I think I looked great that night. And can't wait to see what I look like done. In pictures of course, because the mirror will never show me what I really look like. Try pics! :)
  • Kirkajuice
    Kirkajuice Posts: 311 Member
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    Can't help you, I still think I'm fat. I won't go into shops to buy clothes in smaller sizes because I think they're going to laugh and point. I'm still not quite getting the hang of not looking at the floor while I walk when I'm alone.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I definitely feel you. I've lost 42 lbs, and I'm no longer anywhere near obesity anymore, and everyone seems to be happy and excited, but I'm not where I want to be yet.

    Try to go shopping for some new clothes. After 50 lbs, you deserve to get some clothes that make you feel wonderful and good about the way you look. Focus on appreciating yourself for where you are now but keep your eye on your final goal.

    Chin up! :)
  • ekphilips
    ekphilips Posts: 1
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    Stop thinking that way immediately! You are undermining all of your progress to date. You are beautiful!!! Be proud of all your progress and keep up the excellent work:D

    I have gained back 15lbs. I lost last year, so I am telling myself the same thing. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's a progression...
  • 2012asv
    2012asv Posts: 702 Member
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    Revisit reminders of what you used to look like (photos & videos) or do you have any of your old clothes that are way too big now? Try them on and SEE how far you've come.
    If you can, make a list of all the changes you've made- from food habits to exercising habits, personality, preferences etc. Sometimes it helps to see it that way. All the changes we make day by day add up to the success.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    Yes....it happens to most people that lose a great deal of weight. It has taken me months. Now that I'm used to seeing myself thinner I just see that....the thin me.

    Good luck : )
  • Werglum
    Werglum Posts: 378 Member
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    Try taking photos in the same outfit as you wore in photos taken before you lost weight, print them and put them side by side somewhere so you can look at them when you feel this way. Soon enough you will be able to add another photo to the row and see your progression continue.
  • Dawners98
    Dawners98 Posts: 120 Member
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    First, congratulations on your loss. Second, absolutely. I've lost 76 pounds, and have about 30 left to go, but my thighs and stomach are still huge and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't see a difference there at all - everything looks the same, whether it's all got a smaller circumference or not.

    I still feel great about my accomplishments, but I spent so long thinking (pretending probably) that I wasn't as fat as I was, that my realization and acceptance of it all has skewed my perception of how I look now. It'll probably skew my perception of how I look in 30 pounds, too. Even after I gained weight - which spiked dramatically in just three months before increasing steadily for 13 years - I never felt like a fatter version of myself, you know? I always just felt like me regardless of how fat I was. So, even now, I don't feel like a skinnier me, I just feel like me. I hope that makes sense, it's hard to put into words.

    But know that you are your own worst critic and part of living your new healthy lifestyle will be coming to accept that you are not perfect, but that you are damn fabulous anyway!
  • HURLEYX3RO
    HURLEYX3RO Posts: 269
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    I used to have the same problem.
    Pictures, Pictures, Pictures.
    Embrace it.
    Even though you don't see it, you've come a long way.
    Find clothes that will flatter your new shape.

    I had surgery done and fell off the wagon, and gained 80% of my weight that I had lost back!

    I remember questioning myself why I was still fat, etc had the same problem as you did.

    Since Ive gained it back, I look back at my pics and tell myself "WTF were you thinking? You looked fantastic!"
    I kick myself everyday, especially now that Ive found it harder to drop the weight.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    Because your body is changing slowly and you see yourself all day every day, you don't recognize the changes for what they are. The same thing happens with my daughter and her grandparents - they get to see her 3-4 times a year, and when they do they're constantly amazed at how different she looks. Me? I see her every single day. To me, she's a continuously unchanging person, until I look at a picture from three months ago, then I'm blown away by the changes.

    Advice that has been repeated a lot on the forums... take a picture of yourself in your underthings as soon as you possibly can. Print it out and put it in your sock drawer or somewhere. In two months, take that picture out, tape it to your bathroom mirror, and compare it to yourself as you will be then.

    You might THINK of yourself as being unchanged, but I guarantee you'll be amazed at the change over 8 weeks. You just won't really notice it happening because the changes are slight and incremental.

    If you can, try to find a picture of yourself before you started losing weight. Compare yourself THEN to yourself NOW. My problem is that I became very good at strategically hiding the fact that I was obese, so there are few honest pictures of me from 70 pounds ago.
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    Can't help you, I still think I'm fat. I won't go into shops to buy clothes in smaller sizes because I think they're going to laugh and point. I'm still not quite getting the hang of not looking at the floor while I walk when I'm alone.

    THIS!! a few weeks ago I was shopping & had to ask the clerk to get one of the dresses down for me. She asked what size & I asked for an XL & L.. knowing that a XL would be too big, but I didn't want her to think I was trying to be a fat girl in a little dress!
  • shellrose55
    shellrose55 Posts: 2
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    I have lost 100 pounds TWICE. This is the third and FINAL time. I feel your pain. I look in the mirror and see the same person at 150 lbs. that I see at 250 lbs.. The only advice I can give you is to look at old pictures vs. new pictures and then you will see the difference for sure. Also, I always know when I am losing when the compliments start rolling in. Sometimes 5 people a day will say that I look great when I don't feel as if I have changed one bit and then that will happen every day. It is also easy to gain weight back because people don't comment when you are going the other way although sometimes I wish they would. I am already planning that when I get down to 150 again that I am going to take a mental note when I look in the mirror and convince myself that the person I see is the only person I am ever going to see again. I am never going back.
    Good luck :)
  • withabandon
    withabandon Posts: 168 Member
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    What they don't tell you is that when you start taking care of yourself physically, you also need to start taking care of yourself mentally, and that is something that many people neglect when they are busy planning meals or hitting the gym. I have lost 72 lbs and this journey has absolutely been one of self discovery - not just physically but emotionally. I had to come to terms with 324lb me and accept her and love her as a valid being before I could even think about meeting the 72lb lighter me and accepting her and loving her as a valid being. When you are losing a substantial amount of weight (40+lbs), I think mental health should be an equal priority with physical health, one does not exist without the other.
  • b_fit4life
    b_fit4life Posts: 120 Member
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    Like most of the other respondents, I also get where you're coming from. What seems to work for me is zeroing in on the one or two things that I AM really happy about. For me, it's my collar bones and even though my belly is still way bigger than I want it to be, I am starting to see the definition between where my muscles are trying to shine through. OH! and (probably TMI) when I am getting up from a seated position and my legs are bare, I'm starting to notice my leggs taking a different shape.

    Turn your frown upside down! Focus your energy on how far you've come! Don't dwell on the fact that you aren't where you want to be yet. Remember, you weren't where you want to me 1 month ago but you're closer now than you were then! Celebrate every pound lost, every inch shrunk, every small change you can find!!

    You got this!
  • raerae514
    raerae514 Posts: 171 Member
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    Again I will recommend a photoshoot with a PROFESSIONAL photographer! They can do wonders, if you go for a glamour shoot or a sexy boudoir shoot... then when you get the photos you'll be like,"HOLY CRAP is that me?!"
  • tuppance
    tuppance Posts: 132 Member
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    It's scary isn't it?

    I put on old clothes and they swim on me but I CAN'T actually see a difference, I'll admit my face is thinner I can tell that but not the rest of me. I actually said out loud today that I am scared to try on smaller clothes (don't know if I'm worried they'll still be too small or what)

    It's all about pictures I think, take pictures and compare them with old you. Actually look in the mirror, really look, not the cursory (sp?) glance that we've been doing for years

    You have done great - believe it
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
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    I think its quite common. I don't think I look any different at all even though people tell me that I am "melting". My clothes are all way too big so I know I am losing. I went shopping for new scrub pants yesterday because mine are so baggy that people keep commenting on them. I went from a 3X pant to an XL. Still....when I look in the mirror I see the same 300 pound woman staring back at me. My understanding is that it takes the brain awhile to catch up with the body....I keep waiting...
  • Kirkajuice
    Kirkajuice Posts: 311 Member
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    Can't help you, I still think I'm fat. I won't go into shops to buy clothes in smaller sizes because I think they're going to laugh and point. I'm still not quite getting the hang of not looking at the floor while I walk when I'm alone.

    THIS!! a few weeks ago I was shopping & had to ask the clerk to get one of the dresses down for me. She asked what size & I asked for an XL & L.. knowing that a XL would be too big, but I didn't want her to think I was trying to be a fat girl in a little dress!

    Yep, I don't want them to laugh at the idea of me trying to fit into too-small clothes! I know I'm about 4 sizes smaller but I just can't see it. Most of my clothes are 1-2 sizes too big, I chucked the bigger ones so that I wouldn't be able to afford to get fat again :tongue:

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