New-ish here and really trying!

Hello,

I'm Kelly, I'm 31 and live in Hampshire, England.

I've started a new weight loss journey and am finding it very difficult. I've always yo-yo'd in weight, ever since puberty started. I'm currently 5'1" and 207 lbs.

It's got really bad since having my son, 19 months ago. I had Gestational Diabetes and the whole pregnancy was tough with different problems every month! Luckily everything got better once I'd given birth. I was given the all clear from the diabetes too.
The diabetes really affected me afterwards though. During pregnancy I couldn't give in to any cravings I was having. I was on a ridiculous diet and actually lost weight while pregnant. I was constantly scared of eating things in case I harmed my baby. I was on metformin and insulin for 7 months of the pregnancy and even then - with the insulin - everything I ate affected my blood sugar readings.

Once I got the all clear, I had a massive pig-out. For 19 months. I just ate what I wanted when I wanted. With no thought to the ever increasing size I was becoming. Sure, I knew I was getting bigger, but I felt I deserved my "little treats". It wasn't until 3 weeks ago when we arranged a holiday for September that I realised just how big I'd gotten. I saw some recent pictures of myself and was nearly sick at what I saw. There is no way I want to be like that on holiday.

So now starts my long journey of weight loss. I know I won't look great on holiday, it's only three months away, but I can at least lose something. And I will go from there.

I have lost 10 lbs and 22inches already....but I don't see this as an achievement. I don't see it in the mirror! I can't explain it but it feels as though I'm not losing anything so I lose faith and either eat bad or stop eating altogether and chew gum or something.
I need to stop this and realise it's a long process, but I can't bear it being too long. Like years to get down to an ideal size....I can't handle that.

I have been exercising - on the Wii (Zumba, Just Dance, Wii Fit) as it's what I feel comfortable doing and with a 19 month old and working evenings, I don't get to go to the gym etc. I usually do 3 times a week at the moment as I'm building myself up gradually. I know I've done well on this as before I could only manage 5 minutes of Zumba....now I'm on 20 minutes so I'm obviously getting fitter. I do a physical-ish job too so the weight I'm not losing I think is probably turning to muscle? Which is heavier than fat.

Is there any way I can feel better about myself and the small weight/inch loss without being overwhelmed by the whole long journey? Am I making sense? lol

Any help would be appreciated! Sorry for waffling on!