When your spouse isn't dieting

So my fiance isn't dieting, he should be but he's not ready and a little resistant, which makes this all that much harder for me. When I got up to 245 I freaked out and was determined to not make it to 250 and now I'm down to 237 after a couple weeks. He's 285 and I'm hoping he will do the same before he gets to 300. Anyways, I am making healthy meals for dinner now and trying to make it not taste healthy so he isn't so resistant. (Like last night I baked pork chops with brown rice and beans over the top) But for lunch, I don't feel like putting in the effort. And he hates salads. So I'm looking for ideas of things I can get us for lunches that are quick and easy but still healthy. We don't have a microwave so it has to be things we can do with the stove. We go to the store and HE wants to get frozen pizzas, cookies etc and I'm like NO NOT ALLOWED. Ugh.
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Replies

  • bzgl40
    bzgl40 Posts: 69 Member
    make extra for super and have leftovers maybe?
  • Saiklor
    Saiklor Posts: 183
    Try putting "his" food into a snack cupboard and simply NOT opening it. Even putting it in a box in a shared cupboard can help (out of sight, out of mind).

    Also, try making meatloaf meatballs and then you can have 2 and he can have however many he wants. They also reheat really well for lunches. You can break yours up and sprinkle it over lettuce leaves for a salad, he can eat his with a bag of chips.
  • DaoneandonlyMe
    DaoneandonlyMe Posts: 118 Member
    bump
  • clarebrad
    clarebrad Posts: 188 Member
    http://www.skinnytaste.com
    www.eatingwell.com

    Try out these website, google your fav recipes search low cal, or low fat. You can eat pretty good, after a bit of research you can work out ways to adapt your meals to be really nice and tasty but good for you, my boyfriend isn't dieting but he likes all the things i cook. His snacks and bad foods can be the hard part.
  • jiggalude
    jiggalude Posts: 53
    Try light breads (I use pepperidge farm light soft wheat or oatmeal - the oatmeal is almost like white bread) and light lunch meat. It's quick and easy. I get dietz and watson gourmet lite turkey breast (they also have ham and chicken versions as well) and make a sandwich with 2 - 3oz of lunch meat. It's less than 150 calories total. I also have been making smoothies for breakfast with "hidden" veggies. My smoothies are around 260 calories (maybe 16oz). The keep me going for awhile. I use a 5.5 oz can of low sodium V8, 1 banana, 1/2c strawberries, 1/2c pineapples, 2c baby spinach, and 1 strawberry banana activia light. If I have cucumbers or celery I'll throw some of that in too.
  • emom3boys
    emom3boys Posts: 84 Member
    My husband eats the leftovers for dinner, or makes himself a sandwich. We have also gotten into making our own individual salads (green salad, pasta, egg, tuna) he puts the stuff he wants in his and I can make my own. My husband seems to be more receptive to eating right when I fix the meals, and if he doesn't like it then he can fix his own. =)
  • chellebubblz
    chellebubblz Posts: 84 Member
    Well if I ask what he wants from the store and he says "frozen pizza" I just say no and hes ok lol. He tells me if I cook healthy he will eat it, I just can't expect him to make the choice if it's HIS choice. Which is fine. I'm just looking for some things that are easy and quick, that I don't have to put much effort into. Meatballs is a really good one!

    Even just typing what you eat for lunch that doesn't require a microwave is a big help!
  • TONYAGOOCH
    TONYAGOOCH Posts: 470 Member
    Frozen fish filets are good. You can cook them in the oven or on the stove. Canned tuna. Sandwiches. Pizzas made on flat out wraps. If you have a crockpot you can put chicken or pork on to cook and have shredded chicken or pork. Goes good on salads or rice or as tacos.
  • ployjoy
    ployjoy Posts: 45
    My SO isn't dieting either. Sometimes it's rather difficult when he comes home with dinner and it's stuff I can't eat. I've just started to cook more. He has lost 20+lbs eating with me. I eat a low-carb diet, so this means he gets to eat a lot of delicious things like bacon and steak. So far so good - no complaints! lol
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    bump. this is a good question.
  • Frozen pizza's aren't that bad if you get the right kind. Anything can be eaten in moderation.
  • subtractionproject
    subtractionproject Posts: 64 Member
    I second the low calorie bread option. I often buy the Weight Watchers Malted Danish kind. It's kinda insubstantial in comparison to a big thick, unhealthy loaf, haha, but it's amazing how cutting some of the calories of the bread can help. Stock up on things like tomatoes, celery, low cal hummus and make yourself a healthy sandwich with a slice of turkey and some salad.

    I often think of lunch as a sort of tapas meal, so have fun with putting different elements together and seeing what you can come up with.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    So my fiance isn't dieting, he should be but he's not ready and a little resistant, which makes this all that much harder for me. When I got up to 245 I freaked out and was determined to not make it to 250 and now I'm down to 237 after a couple weeks. He's 285 and I'm hoping he will do the same before he gets to 300. Anyways, I am making healthy meals for dinner now and trying to make it not taste healthy so he isn't so resistant. (Like last night I baked pork chops with brown rice and beans over the top) But for lunch, I don't feel like putting in the effort. And he hates salads. So I'm looking for ideas of things I can get us for lunches that are quick and easy but still healthy. We don't have a microwave so it has to be things we can do with the stove. We go to the store and HE wants to get frozen pizzas, cookies etc and I'm like NO NOT ALLOWED. Ugh.

    I know exactly how you feel. My husband made a frozen pizza tonight for dinner for himself and our son - I had tuna salad and baked wedge fries (which I have for many meals as it's one thing I love that is also healthy and versatile.) but it was so hard for me to resist the pizza, because I rarely eat it and it smelled sooo good!

    My solution to the problem is basically what you are doing. I make dinners for us from scratch 4-5 nights a week, doing it the healthy way when possible. It's a lot less stressful though to just ration portions for myself instead of freaking out trying to make everything as healthy as I can all the time. So you could just tweak your recipes a little to make them more healthy - but not too much, and maybe just eat less of it if need be? You can always fill up the rest of your calories with healthy snacks like fruit and veggies if you have some left over. My husband has gotten used to eating healthier over time too, and honestly he has started giving me funny looks if I say I want ice cream or cookies or dessert after we eat. LOL He always lectures me about eating fried cheese too, but that's a whole other story. ;D

    I think your guy will come around, in time. Just show him what "healthy" food can really be! It doesn't have to sacrifice taste, and honestly in my opinion, it tastes better than most of the processed crap people buy these days. A home cooked meal is 1000x better for you than fast food, in 9 out of 10 cases. Our favorite dinner is meatloaf night, and it's honestly very healthy, which surprised me. Take out the salt, because you really don't need it for most recipes. My husband doesn't even miss salt anymore! He sprinkles a tiny bit on his eggs if I make breakfast for dinner, that's the only time he even uses it anymore. I don't put it in any of my recipes when I cook, unless I have to. I substitute with onion powder. :)

    Homemade meatballs and homemade sauce, I use no-salt added canned tomatoes and make a very light marinara sauce. It's delicious with fresh basil and garlic! Get creative. I really think he will come around, especially if he's depending on you to feed him. ;) Good luck!
  • drummer_lady
    drummer_lady Posts: 150 Member
    I have this problem too, to some extent. I don't live with my significant other so it's not so bad, but when we do have meals together at home it can get problematic. I swear he's the pickiest eater alive! And he hates nearly every vegetable that exists. He also occasionally convinces me to order pizza with him when I shouldn't, but he's getting a lot better with that now that he knows I'm trying hard to eat better. I'd love to hear other how other people deal with their significant others in this situation, because this could be a problem if we move in together!
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
    I make a bunch of stuff in the crock pot to reheat for dinner during the week. Otherwise, we'll end up getting take-out or eating out since we're both hungry when we get home from work.

    He keeps his snacks/candy in his office so I'm not tempted. If I can see food, I'll want to eat it. When it's tucked into a drawer in another room, I forget about it (or it's not worth the effort - plus he'll see me digging for it and call me out). ;)
  • collywot
    collywot Posts: 16 Member
    My SO doesn't know he's on a diet, neither does our kid. He figures if we're eating bacon & eggs we CAN'T be eating properly. I've had to identify a few things to eliminate from the weekly shop, mostly frozen stuff. Introduced a few others into the weekly cooking rota, and have frozen leftovers as a go to instead of pizza (cheese is my downfall, *sigh*). As a result of complete sneakiness my SO has lost 5kg and I've lost 12.
  • Devlyn_P
    Devlyn_P Posts: 294 Member
    *Sigh*(I hate airing my dirty laundry in public) I have no answer to this because I am experiencing the same thing. My girlfriend does not log or watch what she eats and is skinny fat at the moment. She visits me on the weekends and eats healthy then because I cook. I tried to explain to her why she always feels tired and never wants to do anything but lay on the couch and watch movies/TV was due to having poor nutrition. I try to take her out jogging but she always has an excuse to not being able to go. If and when I tell her stuff about it she gets all defensive saying I don't support her and I don't understand how tough her work week was so then I am the bad guy. So now its like we live two completely separate lives. All I would like is an attempt/effort to live a full and healthier life so we could do more things TOGETHER and not solo hikes for me and jogs. If anyone has a suggestion please let me know :ohwell:
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    My SO doesn't know he's on a diet, neither does our kid. He figures if we're eating bacon & eggs we CAN'T be eating properly. I've had to identify a few things to eliminate from the weekly shop, mostly frozen stuff. Introduced a few others into the weekly cooking rota, and have frozen leftovers as a go to instead of pizza (cheese is my downfall, *sigh*). As a result of complete sneakiness my SO has lost 5kg and I've lost 12.

    So much win. :heart:
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    *Sigh*(I hate airing my dirty laundry in public) I have no answer to this because I am experiencing the same thing. My girlfriend does not log or watch what she eats and is skinny fat at the moment. She visits me on the weekends and eats healthy then because I cook. I tried to explain to her why she always feels tired and never wants to do anything but lay on the couch and watch movies/TV was due to having poor nutrition. I try to take her out jogging but she always has an excuse to not being able to go. If and when I tell her stuff about it she gets all defensive saying I don't support her and I don't understand how tough her work week was so then I am the bad guy. So now its like we live two completely separate lives. All I would like is an attempt/effort to live a full and healthier life so we could do more things TOGETHER and not solo hikes for me and jogs. If anyone has a suggestion please let me know :ohwell:

    Hate to be the one to say this, but if it's that bad... perhaps it is time to find a new mate. If she isn't even willing to TRY changing for the better, it doesn't mean as much to her as it does to you, obviously. And, if being with someone who shares your wants, goals, ideals, is important to you - then you should find someone who does and appreciates you for wanting those things! :)
  • wasveganvictoria88
    wasveganvictoria88 Posts: 249 Member
    My boyfriend is soooo good when it comes to dieting in the HOME but when we're out he'll be like 'oh super duper portion of wings!' and sides too...which is hard when I want a measly portion. I think sometimes you've just got to accept that not everyone has the same drive and motivation, and even though it is someone you care for you have to think that once upon a time you were thinking the same thing, and its just about not sticking it into their noses (not that you are) but easing them in the fact that diets are 'easy' (I say that with a little glint in my eye!)
  • palmerig88
    palmerig88 Posts: 623 Member
    If my husband cooks and I don't want it I make my own and vice versa. No way am I fixing anyones lunch but my own.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
    *Sigh*(I hate airing my dirty laundry in public) I have no answer to this because I am experiencing the same thing. My girlfriend does not log or watch what she eats and is skinny fat at the moment. She visits me on the weekends and eats healthy then because I cook. I tried to explain to her why she always feels tired and never wants to do anything but lay on the couch and watch movies/TV was due to having poor nutrition. I try to take her out jogging but she always has an excuse to not being able to go. If and when I tell her stuff about it she gets all defensive saying I don't support her and I don't understand how tough her work week was so then I am the bad guy. So now its like we live two completely separate lives. All I would like is an attempt/effort to live a full and healthier life so we could do more things TOGETHER and not solo hikes for me and jogs. If anyone has a suggestion please let me know :ohwell:
    Maybe a compromise? Tell her you will do something with her that she enjoys (even if it's just taking her to a movie) if she will do something with you that you enjoy. A friend of mine recently did this. He wanted to go into the city to watch a baseball game with his girlfriend (and of course she wasn't too thrilled about it) and convinced her by saying that they would drive in a few hours early and spend those hours at the mall lol
  • indisguise
    indisguise Posts: 235
    chellebubblz - Will he eat soup? You can make a chicken or beef vegetable soup and heat that up on the stove.

    *edit* I've also come across several recipes for yummy low calorie sweet treats here on MFP - maybe try one or two of those to offer in place of the cookies.
  • chellebubblz
    chellebubblz Posts: 84 Member
    Wow, lots of responses, thanks guys! I don't really get on here when he's at home lol. A few notes.

    @indisguise--I will definitely be doing soups! I have a few recipes I want to try but missing some ingredients. We live in a very small town, with one overpriced grocery store, so we usually go out of town to buy groceries once a week. So I will be doing that this weekend most likely.

    My fiance isn't very supportive, his support begin and ends with eating healthy IF i cook healthy. He doesn't want me to lose weight because and I quote "I love you the way you are right now and I don't want you to lose your butt or boobs" So I'm eating the best I can with my own personal sabotager and working out like crazy while he's at work. I was doing REALLY good after our son was born in Feb, then I got on Mirena and started gaining after my doctor assured me I wouldn't.
  • Saiklor
    Saiklor Posts: 183
    Perhaps a heart-to-heart with him explaining that you're a person, not an object for his amusement. You're more than your butt and your boobs, you are your happiness and your health and your feelings, and if he is only supporting your butt and boobs he can kick his own butt to the curb.
  • bs00
    bs00 Posts: 1
    try not to buy ANYTHING that is processed instead of putting everything sepearate beacuse when we women get depressed and down we tend to go for the BAD foods which at the moment are so delicious !!! thats what im doing to my bf since we live together and now he HAS TO eat better lol!!! AND so do I!
  • tomhancock
    tomhancock Posts: 100 Member
    My fiance isn't very supportive, his support begin and ends with eating healthy IF i cook healthy. He doesn't want me to lose weight because and I quote "I love you the way you are right now and I don't want you to lose your butt or boobs"

    I don't know your fiance, so could be wrong, but this sounds like an excuse to me. If he thinks you look great now, he is going to like your body even more when you lose a little weight.

    Not sure why he would come up with an excuse like this. Could be he is really attached to his unhealthy diet, could be he feels out of control with you trying to make changes to your body, could be he is worried that you will lose weight and he won't, and that may affect your relationship. Some people just don't like change, or think a healthy diet means eating food that tastes bad.

    If I were you, I would get creative with your cooking, find some healthy recipes he really likes. That is probably the first step to getting him on your side. skinnytaste.com is your friend. Good luck!
  • lukeout007
    lukeout007 Posts: 1,237 Member
    My wife can't diet right now because she's pregnant. It's been 6 months of me doing it by myself. Unfortunately I can tell you it tends to get harder...at least for me. She's never been shy about eating like *kitten* around me...cheesecake, candy...heck half the time she expects me to pick it up for her from the store. And I do because I love her and I'm sure she's having cravings. But it does suck.

    Just stick through it and keep cooking healthy meals. If he doesn't eat them that's his problem not yours. I cook every single night and 99% of the time its healthy. My wife eats what I cook but sometimes she'll decide she doesn't like it and eat something else or drown it in sauce. I could really care less. As long as its healthy and tastes good to me that's what matters.

    I also make extra so I have lunch for the next day.
  • chellebubblz
    chellebubblz Posts: 84 Member
    @bs00--that's EXACTLY how i feel. if it's there, it's very hard for me to stay away from it and i always have an excuse, but i know i have weaknesses hardcore!

    @tomhancock--i'm pretty sure he thinks i want to lose weight because i'm unconcious and he wants me to know he loves me no matter what and doesn't care. i don't think he realizes im doing it for myself and our son, not so i look better, that's just a huge plus. i never believe him when he says it lol. it all boils down to, he loves food especially carbs. it makes him feel better.

    @lukeout--i wouldn't suggest telling this to your wife as pregnant women can be scary if they take things the wrong way. but eating right during pregnancy is an AMAZING thing for delivery!! i ate healthy throughout my pregnancy and not only did i gain just 10 pounds while i was pregnant, but the delivery was soooo easy compared to the others when i didn't take care of myself.
  • My hubby is 6'1 135 pounds, him and the kids eat like its their last meal ever. he NEVER cooks because its all about fat, grease, butter, butter, and oh more butter! So I cook a healthy meal for dinner and I have divided my kitchen. I have my cabinets and they have theirs. Its EXTREMELY hard not to have 20 oreo's and a glass of milk, or a chocolate covered donut. But we do come to an agreement on meals, If I buy healthy and cook healthy he will gladly eat it (or starve). But I can expect him to be healthy all the time because he doesnt want that, he likes eating 30+ times a day and 29 of those times are junk.

    Good luck