Dating while being plus sized...

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  • nattielove
    nattielove Posts: 17 Member
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    I know you said you didn't want to hear "stop looking and you'll find someone", but it's true. You can't think of every male you speak to as a potential prospect. Find male company in the form of friendship, find hobbies that force you to leave the house and as a result meet people. I want to say you can't meet someone sitting on your couch, but I suppose you can if you do try internet dating lol. If you recently got out of such a serious relationship, you need to focus on yourself, and learning to depend on yourself rather than on others for happiness. If you're a happy person, you'll easily find other happy people.
  • HeidiMuszall
    HeidiMuszall Posts: 13 Member
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    I've been in the same boat for the last few years. I agree that the best thing is just to focus on socializing, making new friends (men or women). One way that I have met several cool people over the last year or so is on the website Yelp.com. They have an events page on their website and depending on the city that you live in and how many people actively use the website in your city, there may be a lot of fun things for you to check out. So it's not a dating site, but I have found it to be a fun way to meet people and find fun stuff to do.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    go do things you enjoy and make friends at those things/places, friendship is what you are looking for. Be open to people in general. By what you say you don’t necessarily want a man in your life if you want to fix yourself or just come to terms with your relationship ending.. Find some women to hang out with. They will help you by talking and doing things with you..
    Nothing better than spending time with close friends. Then when you are ready to date for real go on line or where ever and find a man... Men deserve the best from us just as much as we do... Think about it
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Feel free to joint our MFP single people group
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/282-single-peeps

    I don't really like eHarmony, I'm on Match right now and it seems to be working pretty well. If you just want to try it for a bit, there are free sites like OKCupid or Plenty of Fish. I also hear good things about meetup.com, not necessarily for dating but for making friends or meeting people in general.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    Sorry to hear it. Honestly, just getting out there and talking to people is the way to go. Making random conversation with strangers, whenever you get comfortable to. It just takes time though, I understand not being super confident. I hope you don't feel like you need someone though. It is nice to have someone but not the end all, especially just getting out of a serious relationship. My suggestion is take some time to work on yourself, feel good about yourself, go out with some friends! You'll meet more people through friends and talking more :) Best of luck to you, you'll be fine!
  • turquoise_elephant
    turquoise_elephant Posts: 83 Member
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    Ya'Know I find that if your doing something YOU like, whatever that is, you'll invariable be hangin with others who like the same thing. Viola- meaningful conversation! I think, as its been true in my life, that its less about where/how do i meet people, but more what do I WANT TO DO? Find your passion- go for it

    This is exactly right in my opinion.
    Think about things you enjoy, and see if there is anything local nearby, like a club or hobby group that you can join. It's a great way to meet people with similar interests.

    In terms of making new friends (or meeting a potential partner), I always found it was a good idea to be approachable. In the beginning I would spend most of the time I was with other people thinking 'they won't like me', 'They think I'm fat' etc etc. Because I was thinking these negative things it really did project outwards and didn't make me very attractive to other people. I have now moved the full-length mirror out of my bedroom so I don't see my body EVERY morning. I choose clothes I think are pretty, I do my hair and makeup and I leave the house feeling good. I'm still the same person inside that I was when I was slim, albeit with a few more self-conscious thoughts. The more you practice pushing those thoughts out of your mind, the better you get at it and the quicker you get back to being yourself again.

    It's also always a good idea to concentrate on the other person you are talking to. Ask them questions about themselves, keep them talking about themselves. Everyone loves to talk about themselves, and being the interested listener will get you major brownie points and make you even more attractive.

    Good luck! And the main thing, have fun with it!
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    eHarmony said I was unmatchable, lol.
    Me too!!!! Hahahaha

    What a coincidence...ME TOO! Maybe we should get together and start our own dating site--"unmatchable.com, We'll match you when eHarmony can't get the job done". :laugh:
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    I met my husband on a chat site 10 years ago. I weighed 340 lbs. He saw past the packaging to the gift inside and we have been married for almost 8 years. Before I met him, I dated several guys. I did not let my size hold me back and the guys I dated didn't have an issue with it either.

    The suggestions for meetup.com are the best. You are out doing something you enjoy and so is the other person. That means you have a common interest. Don't go to functions looking for a man....go looking to enjoy yourself. If you appear to be on the hunt, you will chase people off

    Being single isn't all that bad..being with the wrong person is a heck of a lot worse.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I can't date right now personally, but I attract a really bad sort as it is, and right now I have even less self confidence than usual, so I might as well have a big 'use me' sign on my forehead.
  • swisspea
    swisspea Posts: 327 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear that!

    I met my husband on a dating site when I moved somewhere new and knew absolutely no one (and didn't speak the language), and all I was really looking for was some friends and maybe a few dates. It was a surprise, and an amazing experience!

    Meetup.com also saved my social life when I moved to another country. I met lots of people who spoke English and were interested in having fun, trying new activities and meeting new friends- I really suggest it!
  • secondchance82
    secondchance82 Posts: 66
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    As shallow as we can be, not everyone is looking for the most fit, skinny person to be with. Don't let your weight hinder you from going out there to meet someone.

    Last October here on MFP, I met my now husband (we married in March). I was a size 6, and had just filed for divorce a couple weeks prior to starting to date my now husband, and in the best shape of my life. He loved me through the months I gained weight, and I'm now 25lbs. heavier - about 165lbs. on a 5'3 frame. I know it's not plus sized per se, be although we both strive to be fit people, he was not shallow and did not judge me for my gain.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    eHarmony, is the biggest load of crap on the planet, oh...btw, they enjoy raping your *kitten* of your money while you wait to get to talk to people that a "bot" deems a "match" ha ha ha....anyway...

    If you don't have any children, OMG I envy you! Get out, be you, flirt your *kitten* off with anyone whether you think they are out of your league or not.
    Stand your ground, do not give in if someone wants a one night stand, no matter how lonely or sexually deprived you feel, you have the power. Empower yourself. Finally take the time to work on you, Get your stuff together before you have someone else come into your life.
    You are number 1 now.
    Repeat that! Over and over and over until you believe it.
    I unfortunatley had to go thru the "You are not skinny enough for me" routine over and over and over again...I used that as motivation, to get started working on me.


    I would absolutely join Unmatchable.com!
  • JoeD1968
    JoeD1968 Posts: 167
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    what is this "meaningful conversation you speak of":laugh:

    You know....ones you have under the covers. LOL just kidding!!!!

    Ohhh I thought us guys did that to get you under the sheets. Lol
  • ashshields12
    ashshields12 Posts: 54 Member
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    What bout the gym? Fitness classes?
  • loneworg
    loneworg Posts: 342 Member
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    eHarmony said I was unmatchable, lol.
    Me too!!!! Hahahaha
    Same here but I ended up meeting my wife on a free dating site so ya never know....
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
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    i met my Fiancé online!! i was 17 when i met him and ive been with him ever since, though i do recommend being careful when dating/meeting someone online, as obviously it can be dangerous i recommend the first time you go to meet someone go with a friend or family member like i did
  • Jessastar
    Jessastar Posts: 234
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    I wouldn't do Eharmony.. I'd look for other sites ,maybe for BBW (big-beautiful-woman) like this one http://bbwdates.net/

    One of my friends went on here and she's been in a relationship with someone on there for 4 months now going on strong.

    I hope it helps, even though you're not big on online dating. (:
  • knackarsch
    knackarsch Posts: 53
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    I joined okcupid (at my highest weight) after a long term relationship died. I met some guy for coffee, and he was nice but no sparks. Turns out we'd met a few times a long time ago. He introduced me to his coworker friend without meaning to set us up. It was just a sad divorcee movie night, but sparks flew then! We're getting married in September. Yay online dating, even if it just opens up your social group.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    Do you have a dog? I met more men at the dog park than anywhere else in my whole life maybe.

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