Afraid to lift weights...

krose9489
krose9489 Posts: 22
in Fitness and Exercise
The gym I go to is on an army base. As a 200+ pound woman who already has extreme anxiety (can't even leave the house or get in a car without medication...), I feel like I've done a great job of getting myself just to go there. The only thing is that I really want to start lifting because I keep hearing how great it is for you and that is where EVERYBODY goes. There's never anything free when I've walked by there and I can't just stand there and wait to not know what to do when something would be free to use...

Also I feel like it should be made known that my husband told me about two women that went in there last week and were lifting roughly 30lb weights. "Half the guys just gawked because there was skinny girls in there and the other half looked really pissed off." And the cherry to top this whole thing off is I have no friends here...

Please give me some advice... :frown:

Replies

  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
    1: Read Starting Strength or New Rules of Lifting for Women
    2: GET TO WORK!
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
    If you have one, I'd suggest asking your therapist (assuming the reference to medication wasn't hyperbole). If it were me, I would probably invest in some weights for home use. The only way I can stand the gym is by going at 5:30am when there aren't as many people there.
  • JenMc14
    JenMc14 Posts: 2,389 Member
    Go to a website that has demos of lifting free weights. Try bodybuilding.com or muscleandstrength.com. There may be demos here, too, I haven't browsed around a lot in that section. You can get some plans for beginners off of those sites as well. You may also look to see if your local library as the book New Rules of Lifting for Women. Figure out your plan. Then, go to the gym. Figure out what you need to use, and, if it's in use, when someone takes a rest, ask if you can work in. You have as much as right as anyone else to use the equipment in a gym that you belong to. Go for it! I LOVE lifting! If this is too much for your anxiety issues, and it can't be controlled with medication, I agree with the previous poster that a home gym (Olympic bar, some dumbbells, a bench and rack) may be the way to go.
  • RachFace1000
    RachFace1000 Posts: 154 Member
    1: Read Starting Strength or New Rules of Lifting for Women
    2: GET TO WORK!


    New Rules of Lifting for Women. Do it. Lift weights. Peer pressure.
  • liz_steinborn
    liz_steinborn Posts: 27 Member
    You could work with some resistance bands on your own to build up stamina so you're ready to head to the gym. And after a month or so, maybe you'll have an opportunity to meet some of the other folks on the base and find a buddy to go with. You can do it!
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    start at bodybuilding.com - find a workout routine that you believe will work for you... and walk in to that gym, plug yourself to your music and pretend you are all alone - do your thing, who cares what the person next to you looks like or what they are looking at... learn how to completely zone out... sometimes if I am getting a bit distracted I close my eyes to refocus...
  • jgic2009
    jgic2009 Posts: 531 Member
    Would it be possible to go with your husband a couple of times? So you can learn the ropes?
  • SuperAmie
    SuperAmie Posts: 307 Member
    I bought some hnad weights... started small. and did them at home.. once you get more confidence. hit up the gym :) Its impressive that you go! Great job :)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    find out who those girls were and TAKE THAT **** over :glasses: just roll in together and take over the weight room.

    seriously though , maybe find a workout partner
  • Ritzbrit
    Ritzbrit Posts: 211 Member
    It can be intimidating to go into a gym made of mostly men so I usually pop in my ear buds, crank up the music and get at it ignoring them all.
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
    Maybe you could start off with some dumbbells at home to get yourself started
  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    Would it be possible to go with your husband a couple of times? So you can learn the ropes?


    This. Or, invest in some weights for home for now. I bet once you are feeling stronger, you'll have more confidence to try the gym.

    Are you able to go to a gym off post? I know you said you have anxiety with getting in a car, but if there is one close by that isn't full of gawking soldiers, it might be worth it.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    1: Read Starting Strength or New Rules of Lifting for Women
    2: GET TO WORK!

    If you don't start now, you will wish you would have started sooner. If you have to wait for weights, then wait. You deserve to lift as much as anyone else does. Besides, they're not going to lift it for ya :)
  • MLgarcia3
    MLgarcia3 Posts: 503
    1: Read Starting Strength or New Rules of Lifting for Women
    2: GET TO WORK!

    This is exactly what I did when I started. And I started in a military gym, also. I kept my headphones in, head down, and acted like I belonged there. No one has ever bothered me. Now, I FEEL like I belong there :-)
    If you're intimidated about a certain exercise, look online at videos until you feel comfortable executing it.

    Also, try going during their down times. Sometimes I would get there at 5am when they opened just to get the squat rack to myself. Other good times are around 10am or 7pm when it's winding down.
  • jenniet04
    jenniet04 Posts: 1,054 Member
    Definitely suggest finding a program to follow. New Rules of Lifting for Women (a book) is a great start and he has detailed explanations of all the exercises. You can also search on youtube, they have all of them on there also. Finding a lifting partner is a great idea, or find a time when the gym isn't so crowded. Lifting is great and once you get started, you'll be hooked!
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    Would it be possible to go with your husband a couple of times? So you can learn the ropes?

    ^^This is what I was thinking. Could be a great bonding experience for the two of you as well. Make it a "date". :wink:
  • DuckyBugden
    DuckyBugden Posts: 5
    With you on this one, Ive got anxiety issues as well (though not as severe and its hard enough - well done for getting to the gym at all!) and find the weights section of the gym particularly intimidating. Maybe do as others said and create a 'plan of action' workout for yourself before you go, then you arent left completely confused by the machines and also have something to concentrate on to block out the paranoia.

    Can you get to the gym at off peak times? Should be empty enough that you arent left standing around to wait.
  • Coyla
    Coyla Posts: 444 Member
    I think getting someone to go with you at first might help with the anxiety. I understand how you feel. It's what I deal with when I go to the gym, and the weight section is in use.

    Or buying a set of weights may also be an alternative.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I know it is hard, I lift weights to work on my toning, but I'm just starting and just built myself up to 8lbs for overhead press and 12 lbs for the single arm rows. There are girls half my size that use 25 lb weights, though mostly it is the guys huffing and grunting about. At first, it made me feel insecure, but the fact is, I am just not there yet and I will never be there if I don't try. I may be physically weaker than them, but they respect me for at least trying.
  • kwin91
    kwin91 Posts: 128
    Personally, I am the same way. But I weight lift now so its not a huge deal if I went to a gym like that and I will have to soon because I'm moving away from my free weight lifting room at my in laws house. I would make my husband go with me just because there are military personnel going to that gym it is scary. And when I do move on base I will make my husband go with me when he can those 2x a week. Honestly I started off doing body weight exercises and then once I could do about 15 push-ups with good form and not on my knees I started lifting, this advice was given to me by a professional. make him go with you and show you what to do. But first look up how women should be doing it and start off slow because you don't want to get hurt.

    I guarantee that once you start lifting your going to seriously love it. Its awesome and it burns tons of calories and trims your waistline quickly. You're going to be toned and sleek and sexy! I promise!
    Make your husband HELP YOU!!! DO IT!
  • ishtar13
    ishtar13 Posts: 528 Member
    Sometimes there are groups for military spouses. Look at your Family Service Center (that's what the Navy called it, the Army might call it something else) and see if you can expand your social circle.

    If you could make just one friend and get her to go with you, it would help a lot.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Great suggestions here. But here's this:

    *hug* You can do it. :flowerforyou: Screw 'em.
  • summaryzn
    summaryzn Posts: 113 Member
    ironically today wa smy FIRST time using free weights in the gym alone! great suggestions here - I felt silly using my app on my phone to help me with the routine, but everyone is right -- no one is going to bother you and quite frankly they respect you more for 'going it'. Every now and then I glanced up and saw someone looking at me, but I shrugged it off and made eye contact to confirm if they needed the space. It was no biggie. im encouraged to do it again tomorrow. normally i would use the machines, but today I figured Id give it a whirl and try out lateral raises with the dumbbells. I even stood in front of the mirror.. LOL i chuckled thinking who do u think u are? LOL but its the best way to check out your form.

    Also if your really are stumped just ask the person at teh reception desk. If they cant help you they can find a trainer or some gym personnel who would be more than happy to offer you assistance.!

    I too am 200+ , but guess what we have to start somewhere too. We cant wait to be thin to lift... We have a goal and we need to get there STAT!
  • Rosered3333
    Rosered3333 Posts: 171 Member
    The weight room can be really intimidating. I don't know anything about military gyms: are there any trainers? They would be a good place to start if you were set on training in the gym.

    I would just start with a good reference guide and some weights in your house and then when you're more comfortable and need to lift heavier, go to the weight room.

    I find the key to the weight room is to know exactly what you want to do, and in which order and then do your workout. It can be really nerve wracking when you don't know what to do next. Some head phones and good music should help you block out your surroundings.

    Most of all, don't let other people deprive you of the great workout you can get from weights. It's worth it and those other guys can kiss your soon to well-toned *kitten*!
  • Chell625
    Chell625 Posts: 13
    Try Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred with 5lb weights - you will be surprised on how tuff it will be :) Stay strong and once you get through that dvd you will walk into that gym with a stronger head!
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    The gym I go to is on an army base. As a 200+ pound woman who already has extreme anxiety (can't even leave the house or get in a car without medication...), I feel like I've done a great job of getting myself just to go there. The only thing is that I really want to start lifting because I keep hearing how great it is for you and that is where EVERYBODY goes. There's never anything free when I've walked by there and I can't just stand there and wait to not know what to do when something would be free to use...

    Also I feel like it should be made known that my husband told me about two women that went in there last week and were lifting roughly 30lb weights. "Half the guys just gawked because there was skinny girls in there and the other half looked really pissed off." And the cherry to top this whole thing off is I have no friends here...

    Please give me some advice... :frown:

    Well every day you get out of bed you are lifting 200lbs of body weight. Use that to your advantage and look up some body exercises you can do at home. Weight is weight reguardless of what its made from and you betcha you can use body weight as a strength traning exercise especially for beginners. Since you have anxiety this would be my advice to you sweetie good luck.
  • jennkain97
    jennkain97 Posts: 290 Member
    go to kettleworx.com and get their dvd's and a 10lb kettlebell. this is all you will need for at least 12 weeks, after which you may or may not want to increase the weight. kettlebells work the whole body (rather than isolation exercises), and you will be getting cardio at the same time. it is a great program, and you will love the results!
  • krose9489
    krose9489 Posts: 22
    Thank you so much everybody for the positive feedback!! :flowerforyou:

    I'm going to start looking into all the websites, books and DVDs you all suggested right now to try to figure out what's best for me to start with (as well as talk to my husband about getting some home equipment).

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