Question for the (much) older crowd here
sktllmdrhmz
Posts: 1,799 Member
in Chit-Chat
Nasty disclaimer before I ask this:
If you're younger than I am, please don't tell me your thoughts on getting older. kthxbai.
I try to get better every day with how I react to people and more importantly how I act upon those feelings. I still find myself in the "live and let die" camp on a lot of issues. I find it really hard to be sympathetic sometimes, especially toward people who bring their misfortunes upon themselves.
So, as you've gotten older, do you find that you've become more understanding and open-hearted or do you find that you've become "set in your ways?" What were some of the things that led you to become one way or the other?
Thanks for responding.
If you're younger than I am, please don't tell me your thoughts on getting older. kthxbai.
I try to get better every day with how I react to people and more importantly how I act upon those feelings. I still find myself in the "live and let die" camp on a lot of issues. I find it really hard to be sympathetic sometimes, especially toward people who bring their misfortunes upon themselves.
So, as you've gotten older, do you find that you've become more understanding and open-hearted or do you find that you've become "set in your ways?" What were some of the things that led you to become one way or the other?
Thanks for responding.
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Replies
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I actually think Im getting harder...because I see the opportunities I've lost and I know its because I was to stubborn to listen to someone older.0
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I have become more understanding and open-hearted as I have gotten older. It took a while to learn that not everyone has had the same advantages that I have had.0
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Here's what I have learned, or should I say, have become:
I am more understanding and less open-hearted than I was when I was younger. Less open-hearted because I see people doing stupid stuff and then when it backfires on them, I have no sympathy.
I am not set-in-my-ways for I know that change is inevitable. The movie never ends, so no need to press the pause button.
What has made me this way? Patience! I've become more patient as I've gotten older...less narcissistic, mind you. It's not about me; it never was. I thought it was and pressed forward no matter what the cost and boy did it cost me big time. Now, I just let things slip on past me without blinking an eye. I've learned to pick and choose my battles, but before I do, I weigh the positives and negatives of either outcome.
My daughters are tied for my #1 priority now. That alone will change a person.
Good luck!0 -
I have become much less judgemental, and open to other ways of thinking and living than I used to be.
My role model was my grandmother, who passed away almost 20 years ago.
She stayed up to date on what young people were thinking, feeling, and even listening to. All of her grand children thought the world of her. She was open minded, and never met a stranger, she could talk to anyone.
I compare that to other people like my in-laws, who seemed old before their time. They dress like old people, eat like old people and think like old people, and have done so since they were younger than I am now. They have firm beliefs about right and wrong, whether you are talking about values, food, where to vacation, etc. etc. Now that I think about it, my own mother fits this category too.0 -
Interesting question. On one hand, I tend to be a lot harder on people in that I am not as tolerant of stupidity, laziness and missed opportunity. I know how hard I had to work to get where I am and I expect others to be willing to do the same. No free hand outs, in that regard.
On the other hand, through experience I have learned to be less judgmental. I recognize that everyone has their own battles and their situation may not be exactly as it appears on the surface. I am better able to understand what motivates people to act as they do. I have become a lot more compassionate.
So in a nutshell, I am more willing to help people, but I expect them to be willing to help themselves as well.0 -
I've actually been thinking about my own attitude shifts lately. It seems in my middle-age I've become more sympathetic to people suffering hardships that are situations beyond their control. My patience has become much shorter with people complaining or whining about things that they can control and do something about. (I seem to be hardest on myself in this category)0
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I am less shy, more relaxed, less anxious and more judgemental about some things, less about others.
I care less what other people think of me than I did, but I worry about other people more than I did when I was younger.
I am a Grandmother, which is possibly the most awesome thing ever....0 -
Nasty disclaimer before I ask this:
If you're younger than I am, please don't tell me your thoughts on getting older. kthxbai.
Right there you proved that you're still immature, even if you've been alive longer than I have.
And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.0 -
I have 100% more confidence in myself as I've gotten older (talking who I am now compared to the shy gal I was in school, but that's not to say I still done have my insecurities...) but as far as others are concerned, Honestly I have just gotten bitc#ier, and more cynical as time has gone on, yes I'm pretty judgmental, and feel like most people I encounter these days are complete dumba$$es. Though I can still have sympathy for people that end up in terrible situations through no fault of their own, I don't have much sympathy for those who always seem to be finding them selves in the crapper cause they are just hopeless at making adult decisions.. I generally don't speak my mind about it with anyone other than my man (I'm not a cruel or mean person, my judgement is silent), but i do plan on becoming an extremely crotchety old lady, its the privilege of age! LOL0
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And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.
For the record, I still ignored you.0 -
Thoughts on getting older? You're still a kid!0
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As I get older it tends to be a little of both. I am a bit more sympathetic toward people and what they are going through because "I've been there"
but I also am more "Set In My Ways". I don't care about being the "cool guy" anymore, I don't drink to get as hammered as I can be anymore, I don't care what other poeple think of the things I have to say. Because of these things I am more confident in my life and in who I am.0 -
After reading the disclaimer I figured I wasn't in the 'could post crowd' ... but apparantly I'm really really old? hahaha Wow well I'm 29 but since my husband is 51 I always feel like I'm in the young crowd... anyhow I've become more understanding but that doesn't mean I don't believe in personal responsibility. I've become more understanding by raising a kid and my own personal wounds.
I think given both of us haven't even hit 30 yet, we still have lots of changing to do - I think we grow learn and change our entire lives, even at 60. I think age isn't the defining factor of your outlook , but rather shaped by the faith and values you decide to live out as you get old enough to understand them and the impact they will have on your life....so IMO it's a trick question. You will always having loving and accepting grandmas and crotchedy "Grumpy old men"...or maybe loving accepting grandpas and grumpy old grandmas...it's not age it's you at any given point in time in your life.0 -
<---- more cynical and don't tolerate drama or bull**** from people-life is too short!
why am I this way?-I have been let down by most people in my life-the few that haven't-I am loyal to!0 -
I've become 'nicer' :-)0
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HEY!
YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
I'M SERIOUS! I'LL CALL THE COPS! IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL, JUST TRY ME!!!
*mouthynogoodwhippersnappers*0 -
I've gotten more of a live and let live attitude. I'm kinder and more understanding in many situations, ie, folks who are not able to get around well on their own and need a little help. The medical stuff I've been through the last 10 years taught me that.
I have also grown less tolerant of stupidity. Not young folks partying or doing silly things--I feel like I had my turn at that, now it's their turn. They should have that kind of fun while they're young. Just the folks who don't know basic things about life. They can't cook, make their own coffee or sew a button, or spell decently. They don't understand how they made the mess they are in and haven't a clue what to do. Folks who spend all their money on crap and can't pay the rent or utilities. Buck up and live within your means.
I have more confidence as well and I care less and less about what other folks think of me. I KNOW I'm a good person with a good heart and I do the best I can to be kind and polite to others, even when sometimes they don't really deserve it. I tend to not be as open with strangers as I used to be but I will chat up a storm about nothing to pass the time with strangers, depending on the situation. I have found myself less and less afraid of things I cannot control--fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, etc.
And everything Cocos_mum said! She said it really well!0 -
i turned 43 today. i feel as though the years have past, i have gotten more serious bout life. i have 2 children. im trying to raise thhem in this x rated world the best i can. things really take on a different meaning when there are kiddos involved. i do have more patience, and a am a lot more tolerable in many things that happen through out the year. i do have empathy when needed and sympathy when needed as well. as for my way of living. i no longer drink. i take care of myself.we are given this 1 short life. make the best of it in everything you do. i sw your age in your profile. you are still a " pup" . enjoy every minute of what you do. just make the right choices. your choices today will be the consequences of your tomorrow!!:happy:0
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I try NOT to be set in my ways and then find that I AM set in my ways.
I still care what people think but do what I want to anyway. I only have patience with my own grandchildren and have hardly any tolerance for other peoples.:blushing:
I want things to change quickly because I realize that I really don't have a whole lot of time left to do all the things I want because this stupid economy is causing me to have to work longer.:grumble: when what I want to do is go play.0 -
It depends. If it's something beyond someone's control I am more sympathetic. I believe in gay marriage. I believe health care is a right. I think tuition increases should be capped at the rate of inflation. I believe in opportunities for everyone. I am also very sympathetic to people who found themselves in a tough spot and want to fix it. I'm pro choice. I have no problem with my tax dollars paying for food stamps for someone who was laid off. I think men should have an "abortion option" in that they should be able to terminate all rights and responsibilities for a set amount of kids within 3 months of finding out they were going to be a father.
I'm also a lot harder and less sympathetic about a lot of things. Keep your religion off my body and out of the law. If you are on welfare look for a job. If you pierce and tattoo and do things to make yourself look like a freak don't get upset when someone thinks you are a freak. If you look like a thug I'm going to cross the street. Offended? Tough *kitten*. Stop dressing like a thug and I won't treat you like one. Learn English if you live in America. I'm not talking about immigrants. I'm talking about simpletons who can't grasp that you're = you are of "ax" someone a question. If you sound like an idiot when you speak or write I'm going to assume you are an idiot. Don't like it? Don't do it. If you are on welfare stop having babies. Stop buying iphones and jewelry and tattoos and other frivolous *kitten*. If you get pregnant as a teen or someone who cannot financially support themselves - abortion or adoption. If you want to raise it fine, raise it. But don't come looking for tax dollars so you can pretend you're all grown up.0 -
I'm not that old..LOL. but, I do find I am less opinionated and waaaaay more open minded and hearted. I've come to realize that life is just too short to be anything less than this. I am set in my ways for certain things, but do not close off any ideas or opportunities to enhance my lifestyle.
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And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.
For the record, I still ignored you.
Rightfully so.
It's a bit of both for me. I have been consistent throughout my life. If you do dumb stuff you get no sympathy from me. 0 -
It depends. If it's something beyond someone's control I am more sympathetic. I believe in gay marriage. I believe health care is a right. I think tuition increases should be capped at the rate of inflation. I believe in opportunities for everyone. I am also very sympathetic to people who found themselves in a tough spot and want to fix it. I'm pro choice. I have no problem with my tax dollars paying for food stamps for someone who was laid off. I think men should have an "abortion option" in that they should be able to terminate all rights and responsibilities for a set amount of kids within 3 months of finding out they were going to be a father.
I'm also a lot harder and less sympathetic about a lot of things. Keep your religion off my body and out of the law. If you are on welfare look for a job. If you pierce and tattoo and do things to make yourself look like a freak don't get upset when someone thinks you are a freak. If you look like a thug I'm going to cross the street. Offended? Tough *kitten*. Stop dressing like a thug and I won't treat you like one. Learn English if you live in America. I'm not talking about immigrants. I'm talking about simpletons who can't grasp that you're = you are of "ax" someone a question. If you sound like an idiot when you speak or write I'm going to assume you are an idiot. Don't like it? Don't do it. If you are on welfare stop having babies. Stop buying iphones and jewelry and tattoos and other frivolous *kitten*. If you get pregnant as a teen or someone who cannot financially support themselves - abortion or adoption. If you want to raise it fine, raise it. But don't come looking for tax dollars so you can pretend you're all grown up.
This is bang on.0 -
Both. In some regards, I'm more patient and understanding... but I'm also far less likely to put up with bullsh*t.0
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I've become more patient when it comes to people my age or older than myself (I now understand why they do what they do that used to annoy me when I was younger), but less tolerant of the younger set who seem to be much more "me" oriented and care less about the people around them or how their actions affect others. I've become less tolerant of change, be it social change or technological change. I like to stay within my comfort zone, which seems to be getting smaller as the years pass. I have become less open minded and less softhearted as I have seen how people take advantage of situations to the detriment of others. I pay more attention to my head than my heart, unlike when I was younger and it was the other way around. I'm more careful about money and possessions as I've seen how easy it is to lose it all in a flash. I don't tolerate "excuses" well any more, because as I've grown older I realize that people need to take responsibility for their actions, and excuses are just shifting blame elsewhere.
And I'll throw in a "when I was your age" comment (hey, us oldies just HAVE to do that, it's part of getting older!) -- when I was your age, as each different life experience happened to me, my eyes were opened to the many things my elders had experienced but I never really understood until it happened to me (relationships, marriage, kids, finances, aches and pains etc) and I gained a whole new respect for for those who had tried to tell me, but I never really paid attention.0 -
OMG yes. When I open a phrase with 'When I was your age..' my wife hits me. Really hard. Apparently my mis-spent youth is not to be mentioned in the company of our children! :laugh:And I'll throw in a "when I was your age" comment (hey, us oldies just HAVE to do that, it's part of getting older!) -- when I was your age, as each different life experience happened to me, my eyes were opened to the many things my elders had experienced but I never really understood until it happened to me (relationships, marriage, kids, finances, aches and pains etc) and I gained a whole new respect for for those who had tried to tell me, but I never really paid attention.0 -
And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.
For the record, I still ignored you.
Bahahahahahahahaha!
As I get older, I wonder more & more why some folks can't just stfu. Really.0 -
I certainly qualify as being much older, not necessarily wiser although quite possibly somewhat more pessimistic. As the years have really started to pass by I've come to the conclusion that it is better not to dwell too much on the failings of society and its constituents.
Rather than trying to stop the tide, perhaps more like the orchestra on the Titanic, you continue as best you can giving some solace along the way, knowing that it's all going to end badly.0 -
Could you please type in a larger font? I'm having trouble reading it.... :glasses:0
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So, as you've gotten older, do you find that you've become more understanding and open-hearted or do you find that you've become "set in your ways?"
Yes, I am understanding in some ways: I was very carefree when I was younger, but I've had some hard knocks in the past 5-10 years, and I realize life isn't as simple as I had imagined it should be in my youth.
On the other hand, I have taste in music that I developed in the 80's, and so rap and some of the other genres irritate me. Now I understand that music preference is a personal choice, so I don't judge, but I think I'll always be "set in my ways" with Def Leppard, AC/DC, etc. : )
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What were some of the things that led you to become one way or the other?
Life's experiences.0
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