Backhanded compliment about my fatitude
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Wow you've done so well she won't be saying that anymore!My MIL loves to tell me that she doesn't know why I have a weight problem, since I "barely eat anything".0 -
I don't know if I've ever gotten a backhanded compliment. I've been insulted outright a couple of times, but not that many. One time in high school, a guy I was kind of seeing told me I was cute. I said something to the effect of "yeah, right" (I felt super fat in high school, and was very insecure, although in retrospect I was healthy if chubby). I don't remember his exact words, so I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like "are you kidding? You have a pretty face and huge boobs!". It made me laugh, and I actually appreciated it. I can see how it might have offended some people, but not me. I mean, if he had said I had a perfect body and totally denied the chub, I would have known he was full of crap. But what he said, and the way he said, seemed pretty honest. I actually felt like he was telling the truth about being attracted to me, and making a super insecure 16 year old me feel that way was not easy.0
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Whether you take these as backhanded compliments and feel the rest of us are being too sensitive or not, even if it's 100% true, people have no business talking about another person's fat. Period.0
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I have that bike too!
I've had people ask me if I was pregnant too. My reply is "No, I've just got a big fat *kitten*" and that usually shuts them up.
Oh my ghosh the comment would really shut a lot of people up! I laughed aloud when I read this.0 -
I have that bike too!
I've had people ask me if I was pregnant too. My reply is "No, I've just got a big fat *kitten*" and that usually shuts them up.
Oh my ghosh the comment would really shut a lot of people up! I laughed aloud when I read this.
Edit
Why does MFP Double post on me? Sorry if someone can tell me how to delete 2nd post I will do so.0 -
Backhanded compliment: "You and <another fat girl> do a good job of hiding things with what you wear - always big and flowing.
Stupid idiot. Of course, this is the same woman that, before we were to meet later in the evening so I could be introduced to her new fiance said "You will notice he's not very attractive but he really is a sweetheart." I had to bit my tongue to keep from saying "Nice to meet you. You're a very handsome man. Pam, why would you have said he was unattractive?" Oooh I wish I could be the person that says that kind of thing, just once.
Not backhanded, just downright nasty....Eight hours after my first child was born I was in a robe standing at the nursery window looking at my daughter. My brother-in-law appeared and after seeing my daughter said "ok, I see that one. When (pointing to my stomach) are you delivering that one?"
It's been 33 years and just writing this has made my face hot, my head hurt and my stomach cramp.
If the world was fair, people's jaws would lock for a year after a comment like that.0 -
I immediately imagined this guy saying it...I am curious if other people have recieved backhanded compliments related to their weight. Mine was:
"Lain, I don't know how you fat. You don't eat fat people food."
Said years ago by a coworker was from mainland China. And he is right, I have always eaten healthy stuff. I hardly ever binge on the "fat people" food. The problem for me is to move enough to eat the amount of healthy stuff I want to in a day. (1800 to 2100 cals at day). *sigh*
You kill me!0 -
Backhanded compliment: "You and <another fat girl> do a good job of hiding things with what you wear - always big and flowing.
Stupid idiot. Of course, this is the same woman that, before we were to meet later in the evening so I could be introduced to her new fiance said "You will notice he's not very attractive but he really is a sweetheart." I had to bit my tongue to keep from saying "Nice to meet you. You're a very handsome man. Pam, why would you have said he was unattractive?" Oooh I wish I could be the person that says that kind of thing, just once.
Not backhanded, just downright nasty....Eight hours after my first child was born I was in a robe standing at the nursery window looking at my daughter. My brother-in-law appeared and after seeing my daughter said "ok, I see that one. When (pointing to my stomach) are you delivering that one?"
It's been 33 years and just writing this has made my face hot, my head hurt and my stomach cramp.
If the world was fair, people's jaws would lock for a year after a comment like that.
Idiot male. Was he aware that being giving birth in real life is different to movies? The belly doesnt disappear instantly!!!0 -
A few hours ago while at a park with some ladies from Church I got, "Well those pants make you look slim but that brown skirt you wore last time made your butt look huge." She then goes on about how she was wondering if I was pregnant but that no, I must not be.
And then she proceeded to tell me about how she just lost 60 pounds because of her divorce (and honestly she probably needs to loose 150 more to be a healthy bmi). Thanks lady. Thanks for killing my buzz of only being 2 pounds from my goal weight.
Who says that to somebody anyway? I mean really? I'm 23.9 bmi currently and lower than I was in high school and YOU are going to tell me I look fat?0 -
Not backhanded, just downright nasty....Eight hours after my first child was born I was in a robe standing at the nursery window looking at my daughter. My brother-in-law appeared and after seeing my daughter said "ok, I see that one. When (pointing to my stomach) are you delivering that one?"
It's been 33 years and just writing this has made my face hot, my head hurt and my stomach cramp.
If the world was fair, people's jaws would lock for a year after a comment like that.
Wow, that is SO MEAN!
If I were you I would have banned him from my house and my life.
I'm pretty sensitive and I don't allow abusive people any opportunity to take endless potshots.
Did your husband punch him in the face?0 -
Edit: Come to think of it, that baby comment was 23 years ago. To this day I am still stung by that. Some people are truly rude.
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dude..i thought you were late 20s, early 30s..i thought it was weird a young girl had a hubby and baby:laugh: ..you look amazingly young for your age..i hope i look as good as you do when im older..you rock0 -
Coming from an Asian family . . .
If I'm over 105 lbs it seems, my family tends to make very underhanded and snide comments about my weight. Sorry I'm not gorgeously thin like other Asian girls most of the time ;( . . .
Things like:
"She just big, will never be small." No, granny. If my other sisters were my weight, they'd look just the same. They just happen to be 100 lbs and under . . . .
"Her legs so big! Like fat man. Can never wear dress, look fat and ugly." That's why I haven't worn a dress and shorts since I was like, five ;( . . .
"So big, will never be pretty. It okay in America though." Thanks . . . it's not something you should say to an impressionable ten year old, even ten years later I haven't an ounce of confidence .___.;;0 -
Recently when I was celebrating dropping a size (12 to 10) my moms response was "well, im a 7."
My aunty also said I was getting worried about you. You looked so fat but now you look much better. Lol.
My family is Asian too.
Before I started my weightloss, around Christmas 2011, we had dinner with my fiance's entire immediate family. We've been together 10 years so theyve known me since I was in high school. We were discussing our upcoming wedding and I was saying that I really wanted to lose weight, etc. Well my sis in law's hubby says yeah I remember you used to be so skinny before. You looked so good back then before you had your kids (we have three). I was a little embarrassed but in an Asian culture this is pretty normal even if it is rude. We dont beat around the bush. Haha
Oh, one more. My other aunty owned a convenience store and would always make me drink chocolate milk. I guess I started to look chubby and not like the typical small Vietnamese girl I should be so she started making me drink skim milk and saying the choco milk was making me fat. Lol0 -
Coming from an Asian family . . .
If I'm over 105 lbs it seems, my family tends to make very underhanded and snide comments about my weight. Sorry I'm not gorgeously thin like other Asian girls most of the time ;( . . .
Things like:
"She just big, will never be small." No, granny. If my other sisters were my weight, they'd look just the same. They just happen to be 100 lbs and under . . . .
"Her legs so big! Like fat man. Can never wear dress, look fat and ugly." That's why I haven't worn a dress and shorts since I was like, five ;( . . .
"So big, will never be pretty. It okay in America though." Thanks . . . it's not something you should say to an impressionable ten year old, even ten years later I haven't an ounce of confidence .___.;;
Im half Vietnamese and my Vietnamese side would always make similar comments to me!!! Lol. They would always say I take after the women on my dads side (who are much bigger) and dont look asain.0 -
I bought a new jacket few years ago at 118 lbs
it was size xtra large and i thought that was an exagerated size for such a tiny jacket, i mean what size a the really big people suppose to be? xxxxxxxlarge? not really customer friendly if you ask me.
when i mentionned my surprize to my friend she just replied 'ow don't worry, your not fat!'.
thanx for that...miss xxxxxxsmall =.=0 -
oh and a few years back my grandmother was hinting she waslooking forward to me getting married and having a family.
she said it shouldn't be a problem for me to get a man as i have a pretty FACE.
mind you....i bahaved....could have told her that most of my boyfriends LOVE BIGG BUTTS!!0 -
Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Step 1.
You're welcome.0 -
Whether you take these as backhanded compliments and feel the rest of us are being too sensitive or not, even if it's 100% true, people have no business talking about another person's fat. Period.
^^Abso-freakin-lutely.
It's hard enough being fat, but to ask questions and make remarks, whether they were intended as nice or not, still hurts. They're lucky I don't punch them in the face every time they ask me how kickboxing is going. :grumble:0 -
Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Step 1.
You're welcome.
I agree0 -
Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Step 1.
You're welcome.
I agree
It's hard being this warm-and-fuzzy all the time. I'm a giver.0
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