Question for everyone who just settles.

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  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    It's an interesting question - I guess I could ask why you feel that you HAVE to be faster, stronger, thinner etc... will that make you happier and healthier? Or will it make you miserable because you are never good enough? Never fast enough? Never as strong as someone else?

    For myself I guess I'd say I don't feel like I HAVE to do all these things but I do feel like I have to try. I'll never know how good I could have done something until I failed it. It would be the same in my career, with life and anything else. I may not be able to do certain things that seem difficult but I'll never know until I make the attempt and fail trying. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else but myself in that case. If I try to be better than I last was at anything there's always that chance that I'll surprise myself too.

    There could be something that at one point I thought "there's no way that I can do this". I'd be crazy to never try though, I think it would be settling if I did this. To just be complacent with whatever current state I happen to be at but never trying to see how things could be at the next level. Plus if you get to a point you don't like its not like you can't always tone it down. If you think you're running too much you can always run less. If you're at work at you find yourself working too hard, you can tone that down too. At the end of the day you know if its something you wanted to do, then you're definitely capable.

    Thanks for your response - it's been good food for thought today and I've found people's different posts interesting.
    I think the word "settling" has got a few people's backs up (me included!). I can see what you are getting at, but by calling someone's different priorities "settling" it comes across as though you are belittling their priorities and goals and achievements.
    Your responses have made it clear that that is not what you set out to do - but language is a funny thing and when you only see something written down, it can come across quite differently.

    I take the point about it being great to try things you didn't think you could do - I remember the day that I finished the infamous C25K run of 20mins straight - and wondering what eles I haven't tried in my life because I didn't think I could do it? So, I understand that approach. At the same time, though I like to think that I temper my goals with common sense - I am going to run a half marathon this year. That is a huge big fat audacious goal for me - but I'm detemined to do it! I'm not, however, setting out to win the race because I know that I am not physically capable of running 21km in under an hour and if I tried to do that at this point in my training I am confident that I would be injured and immobile in about 2 weeks. So, is it "settling" to want to run 21km but not to be the fastest person there.... I guess that is a personal opinion, but for me - hell no and I'll argue all day with anyone who says it is!

    Once again... an interesting topic, thanks for getting us thinking (and thanks for a change from BMR and TDEE and TOM posts!)
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
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    I agree with those who said priorities.

    I can work out.... Or read my kids a story.

    I could get a gym membership and go in the evenings.... Or eat dinner with my family.

    I can pick up my kids from daycare, bring them home and then go for a bike ride..... or stay home and talk to them about their day.

    I could lift weights.... Or play with my camera.

    I could run.... Or do some laundry.

    I could go to Zumba.... Or work more on my business.

    I could never eat more than my bmr.... Or have wine and awesome lunches with friends.

    For me, it's not that high of a priority. I care about what I look like with clothes on because I'm not running around naked. If my husband isn't impressed with my body the way it is, where I'm happy, so be it. 10 pounds from goal weight = me to caring that much.
    Those are my priorities.

    YES, this was absolutely perfect.

    I think people with kids understand this point completely.
  • Chocoholic72
    Chocoholic72 Posts: 19 Member
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    TO SETTLE OR NOT TO SETTLE? That is the question. I never settled. The reason why i know this is because I barely bought any larger sized clothes. I knew I had to lose weight cuz I felt like crap, emotionally and physically. So, every time I went to my closet and wore the same pair of jeans or my over sized shirts, I felt like crap until one day I said, "I can't take this anymore," and I began watching my calories and exercising. I am down 5 lbs with about 25 to go and one day I will fit into my "cute" shorts, and be able to jump without feeling the fat wiggle on my back and sides and then I will know I am at my goal.

    Those are my thoughts.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
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    The same could be said about anything in life though. As lil_pulp said, it's about priorities.

    For example, look at the number of people who are unhappy with their jobs, their education, their relationships, etc. People just have so much time and energy to put into things that for them, certain things aren't a priority. It's a lot of work, a lot of time and sometimes a lot of money to put into something that's difficult and doesn't guarantee long-lasting results.

    I'm sure most people who are overweight have tried at some point to lose the weight and have found it difficult so they've jjust given up altogether. It's difficult to do and because results are sometimes slow it's hard to stay motivated.


    I can actually agree with you on this. Makes total sense. :)
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    YES, this was absolutely perfect.

    I think people with kids understand this point completely.
    Isn't worse if you do have kids and you dont make an effort to be a healthy weight? Its one thing if you don't know better but if you do you're doing a big disservice to your kids by remaining unhealthy. They deserve a parent who tries their best to be healthy and live long. The best way to teach a child anything is by example I believe. To have children and not make your health a priority is a sad thing to me.
  • NOLA_Meg
    NOLA_Meg Posts: 194 Member
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    Some people just aren't driven by success/achievement. Some people are just always going to be happy with "good enough". How good "good enough" is wiil obviously vary from person to person. That applies to all areas of life, not just weight loss. As far as weight loss goes, there are (for some people) a whole lot of emotional, social and environmental issues that make it more complicated. Weight loss is hard and does take effort, but I know plenty of people who work damn hard in other areas of their lives, but never really crack the weight loss thing. They're not lazy, but for them it's more complicated than just putting effort in.

    I think it's a valid question, especially when people complain about their situation, but don't seem to want to do anything about it. Everyone's life is different though, and not everyone has the same priority. Why doesn't everyone with reasonable intelligence work multiple jobs to get the money to put themselves through college? Why do come people give up a dream of finding that perfect romantic soulmate and "settle" for a life with someone they don't feel passionate about but who is "good enough" and will treat them nicely and have kids with them? People make compromises all the time, it just depends what is a priority in life for that person.

    Personally, I will be happy when I am a healthy weight according to the BMI, have a healthy body fat percentage, have a healthy waist/height ration, fit into a certain size of clothes and reach certain fitness goals. That will be good enough for me, and I'm willing to put every effort in to get there. When I do achieve that, there will always be "better" - there will always be more that I could achieve with health and fitness, but I'm not prepared to put the effort in that it requires to be as fit as an Olympic athlete. I'm just not interested in that.

    Thank you for this.
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
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    YES, this was absolutely perfect.

    I think people with kids understand this point completely.
    Isn't worse if you do have kids and you dont make an effort to be a healthy weight? Its one thing if you don't know better but if you do you're doing a big disservice to your kids by remaining unhealthy. They deserve a parent who tries their best to be healthy and live long. The best way to teach a child anything is by example I believe. To have children and not make your health a priority is a sad thing to me.

    Isnt everyone here to get healthy? YOu can be healthy without being a size 2 or strength training. Not really sure what you're point is here? If youre unhealthy yes, thats not good for your kids. BUt everyone here said that they want to get to healthy weight range. Unless you're referring to people in general who arent trying to get healthier, then i completely agree with you.

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