Boy troubles):

brooklynsfinestballerina
edited December 22 in Chit-Chat
I know probably no one is online but I need advice. I've been dating this kid named Brandon for about a month. He's a Marine and he's adorable. However, we couldn't be more different. I'm very uptight and strict with myself from years of ballet and a USMC father, whereas he's more laid back and calm. Tonight I was supposed to hang out with him after he got off work at 9. It's now 12 and I haven't heard from him at all. I'm not sure how to react to this. I want it to come across that I'm pissed off, but he literally takes nothing seriously. If he does take it seriously then he goes the extreme route, such as asking if we should just break up when I mention any little thing. I have no idea his reasoning behind tonight, but I could give a damn what his excuse is. The last time we hung out he made my friend and wait for an hour outside his job, because he 'lost his phone'. I'm fed up with his disrespect and his nonchalantness about these things, but don't want to come off like a complete brat. Please help:cry:
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Replies

  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    Time to move on without him?
  • SpydrMnky27
    SpydrMnky27 Posts: 381 Member
    He's just not that into you.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    He's just not that into you.

    This! I agree, and move on.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    I've date plenty of guys, of every personality and background. If a guy really wants to talk to you or see you, he makes time to do so. If you haven't heard from him, your not on his mind. Your too young and sweet to worry about BS like that. Just tell him that you two seem to be on different pages and should move on.
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
    You can't change him. If this drives you crazy now, honey, this is as good as you are going to get from him. So, either decide you can put up with it or move on. Sorry......it is what it is and he doesn't sound like he's all that eager to be spending time with you, either.
  • shane9894
    shane9894 Posts: 23
    Hit the eject button and get out. Any guy that's really into you isn't going to treat ya that way, regardless of the personality!
  • AmyLyn1983
    AmyLyn1983 Posts: 100
    I'd say he obviously doesn't take your relationship as seriously as you do. Don't drive yourself crazy over him. Move on and be happy. :smile: Good luck!
  • I would think that too but he tells me he loves me and talks about our future and stuff/:
  • ladyace15
    ladyace15 Posts: 88 Member
    If you are truly worth anything to him, he would indeed make the time for you! If your time is being wasted without the courtesy of even a text or a phone call, then you should move on to bigger and better things! One tell-tell sign that he's just not that into you, when anyone in a relationship always uses that threat, "Well maybe we just need to break up!", TAKE THE HINT AND LEAVE WITH YOUR DIGNITY IN TACT AND YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH! He really has no intention on staying in the first place!,In the words of Drake, "I'm just saying, you could do better!"
  • Hit the eject button and get out. Any guy that's really into you isn't going to treat ya that way, regardless of the personality!

    ^^ agreed^^
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    I would think that too but he tells me he loves me and talks about our future and stuff/:

    What is the term I am looking for? Ah yes , "stringing you along".
  • honeylunny
    honeylunny Posts: 10 Member
    oh honey, thats terrible! I really think you need to get out. If he loved you he wouldnt make you wait around when you have plans. Its just rude.

    Next time he tried to contact you dont respond. See how he handles it.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    I would think that too but he tells me he loves me and talks about our future and stuff/:

    What is the term I am looking for? Ah yes , "stringing you along".

    Ditto!
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    What everyone else said
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    His insensitivity and disrespect will only get worse and more annoying as you get older. Men are creatures of habit. If he doesn't have a good foundation of manners and chivalry I'd dump him. Not good long-term material.
  • shane9894
    shane9894 Posts: 23
    I would think that too but he tells me he loves me and talks about our future and stuff/:

    What is the term I am looking for? Ah yes , "stringing you along".

    Bump^
  • christynek
    christynek Posts: 152 Member
    That just sounds emotionally exhausting. Kind of EXACTLY like my last relationship. Took a year to realize I was sick of making everything about him and working around HIS schedule. Still hard since he is an awesome person, but you deserve so much more.
  • He's just not that into you.

    This....more women should watch the movie as well.
  • ZoeyRobinson
    ZoeyRobinson Posts: 301
    " I've been dating this kid named Brandon"

    Lose the kid and find yourself a man. You deserve someone who does what they say they are going to do.
  • zoegator
    zoegator Posts: 165 Member
    It kind of seems like he's stringing you along until he leaves. Don't stick around with that! If he really wanted to be with you, he'd make an effort!
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    I would think that too but he tells me he loves me and talks about our future and stuff/:

    Well if he says it, it MUST be true. Whoever said "actions speak louder than words" must have been drunk and trying to get laid.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    He's just not that into you.

    This....more women should watch the movie as well.

    Greg Behrendt wrote that book too. Good book.
  • SpydrMnky27
    SpydrMnky27 Posts: 381 Member
    He's just not that into you.

    This....more women should watch the movie as well.

    I agree!!
  • Defs not into you. i can guarantee if you were Jennifer Hawkins you wouldn't wait 3 seconds. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS men make it obvious how they feel from DAY 1 THROUGH BLANTANT ACTIONS. Girls say men are confusing , in fact they are actually not.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    Sounds like an immature lil boy. Ditch the dodo and find a man.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Don't sit home waiting on him!! Go out and have fun. There are to many nice guys out there to be waiting on him!!
  • Thanks for the advice guys:brokenheart:
  • Package02
    Package02 Posts: 97
    I guess I'm going to be the lone person to disagree. I think it's not enough information for anyone else to tell you to "dump him" or "move on". To claim that he's using you or stringing you along seems a bit presumptuous when the OP only gave two examples and doesn't even know what the mans excuse is for not being able to make it tonight. For all we know something bad may have happened tonight or something along those lines where his reason for not being able to make it is actually a good one. He should have messaged her, that I would agree with, but we just don't know the story. The other time, when you waited for an hour while he looked for his phone, sure, that sounds like a lame move on his part but not something that would make me immediately tell someone to run for the hills. I would personally recommend that you wait to see what his excuse is and then talk to him about how you feel. Make your feelings known and if he continues to treat you in a way in which makes you feel disrespected then yes, maybe move on. Dumping someone though without knowing the full story seems a bit much in my opinion. Whatever you decide to do, good luck :smile:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    He's not laid back. He's a passive aggressive jerk. If you want to date a passive aggressive jerk, he's the guy for you. If not, move on.

    Unless something truly awful happened to him or someone he loves, there is no excuse for making plans at 9 and not showing up or calling when he's three hours late.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    He's just not that into you.

    This....more women should watch the movie as well.

    No they should not! After two hours of telling her to give it up, the guy ends up showing up at her door wanting to be with her. The ending was the opposite message of the whole entire movie.
This discussion has been closed.