Put that BACK...I'll get you something bigger

Alex_is_Hawks
Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've lost 114 pounds. It hasn't really affected me that much psychologically or emotionally. It hasn't completely weighed in yet. Maybe part of that is because I still have about 80-90 pounds to go.

But thanks to losing 114 pounds, I can now shop the regular sized clothes. No more plus sized for me. Sure smoe of them are still XL but I don't ever have to step foot on the "plus sized" end of the store, or in a plus sized only store again if i don't want to.

However, when I go shopping in the regular sized stores, I often get this sense of anxiety, it grows and grows as I pick clothes off the racks and add them to my little pile of things to take back to the change room. I'm always surprised when the employees walk past me with a smile and don't say anything, or when I take my clothes back to the change room, there isn't someone there to say

Why don't I put these back and get you something a little bigger.

So even though my body maybe in the regular sized world, my mind is still afraid it's all a lie and someone's going to call me on it.

Push me back into the plus sized world whether or not I want to go.

I'd like to believe I'm not crazy, but I'm really starting to have doubts.

Lauren

Replies

  • SarahSwimmer
    SarahSwimmer Posts: 125 Member
    You're not crazy. I know I'll automatically pick out my "old" size and I'm convinced my new one won't fit until I'm there. Congrats though!
  • ediesmommy
    ediesmommy Posts: 76
    you aren't crazy. Insidde everyone of us is that other person.. you know the one.. who tells you that you aren't good enough or that you don't belong...

    You hold your head high. You have earned that little pile of clothes. And that person inside of you is a big fat liar!!

    Everyone you know can tell you this until they are blue in the face and you get sick of hearing it... but YOU are the only one who can tell that other person to f* off... If you repeat to yourself that "Iam good enough" or "I have as much right to be here as anyone else does", you might start to believe it!
  • imthelobster
    imthelobster Posts: 179 Member
    I have that same feeling, and I haven't lost nearly as much as you have. I keep looking at old shirts in my closet, ones that haven't fit me or have been too tight, and grabbing them just to 'try on' because I still expect them to be too small. When they fit me, it surprises me every time.

    And looking at my jeans, don't even get me started. The new ones keep making me go, "There's no way I will fit into those..." even when logically, I know that I do.

    Congratulations on your awesome success, and I'm right there with you hoping that this feeling will go away!
  • brokenwoman
    brokenwoman Posts: 25 Member
    I don't think you are crazy. I have always been a little anxious when going shopping when I dropped from a 24 to an 18 and was always afraid that I would have to put it back because I thought I may have gained weight or something or that I was just making illusions for myself.

    Maybe if you try to go the store in a good mood and make yourself feel sexy, you might be able to do it without as much anxiety
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    You'll adjust in time, just keep telling yourself YOU EARNED THIS. You're not crazy...well, not because of this anyways ;) 114 pounds is a HUGE adjustment (pun definitely intended) and you have another huge adjustment before you get to your goal. It's kinda like after New Years when you keep wanting to write last year on everything until about March, then the current year is engrained in your head.

    Oh, and I'm so stinking proud of you!!!
  • tehzephyrsong
    tehzephyrsong Posts: 435 Member
    That seems to be a common experience. For me, losing 15 more pounds will finally make me "overweight" instead of "obese," and suddenly realizing that I'm actually the size of a normal human being now (more or less) has become a fairly regular occurrence for me lately. It's a nice feeling when it happens. xD
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Thanks Everyone,

    yes Bron I know I'm crazy for other reasons also...LOL
  • poulingail
    poulingail Posts: 110
    And you think it hasn't impacted you emotionally or psychologically?!?!
    LOL
    It's called denial and you may need more time to live with the lower weight. When I quit drinking I had to go through all of my life experiences with that piece missing. It was weird. So is a dramatic weight loss through eating habits and exercises. Congratulations! Keep up the good work!
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    And you think it hasn't impacted you emotionally or psychologically?!?!
    LOL
    It's called denial and you may need more time to live with the lower weight. When I quit drinking I had to go through all of my life experiences with that piece missing. It was weird. So is a dramatic weight loss through eating habits and exercises. Congratulations! Keep up the good work!

    Thanks!!
  • monyango
    monyango Posts: 166
    I have never been in your situation but I know it is common for people to have a similar reaction to you. You likely spent a lot of time being the "old you" and although you've done a hell of a lot of work to get to where you are now, how much of that was internal work? Did you look in the mirror everyday and learn to love yourself? My guess would be doubtful. Heck, I don't do that!

    You deserve to be happy and proud of your successes. Continue your hard work but don't forget the real you inside. Be kind to her. Be proud of her. You've made AMAZING progress. Patience with your confidence and self esteem will benefit you in the long run I'm sure:)
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
    I go through the same thing and it's a year since I hit my goal. That voice is always in your head saying you're still big. Maybe it's a good thing? Keeps us on track for the future? I dunno. You just have to find that balance point between your emotional self that gives you those feelings, and your rational self that knows what amazing things you've achieved. Keep going. Keep needing smaller clothes. You're awesome.
  • FungusTrooper
    FungusTrooper Posts: 227 Member
    Do people ever say that? Like, ever? Man, half the ladies I know.. if an employee ever said "let me get you something bigger" they would flip the heck out.

    I think employees are expected to smile and nod even if the garment is 1000 sizes too small, not the other way around!
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Did my laundry this afternoon, picked up a pair of chinos, and thought to myself "how do I fit into those?". They fit me fine, but this proves to me that mentally I still consider myself big.

    I think everyone goes through this, and it may take a while for that mindset to change.

    Congratulations on your loss.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    BELIEVE ME, your not crazy. For one thing, if you were then I would have to be also and I am pretty sure I'm not, well.....maybe a tad off balance....:wink:

    I know what size I am now but still when I go shopping I wind up in the plus size section......it's like mentally I have not figured it out yet.

    But I am getting better. I had to get new work clothes. I went to the thrift store up the road and wound up in the right section without thinking about it. I got the "right" size jeans and shirts first time. I also have gotten to the point where I don't have to ask total strangers if they think I look OK with what I tried on.

    So anyways......Whoot, Whoot, and Kudos to you for the weight loss. You've done marvelous!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    I was just shopping for clothes in my new size yesterday and I kept looking at the other shoppers in the store, feeling like a fraud and wondering if they know that I used to be heavy, if they're wondering why I'm shopping in the "normal" sizes. I've always been nervous about people seeing me, but I think it's gotten worse since I've dropped the weight.
  • Momma_Grizz
    Momma_Grizz Posts: 294 Member
    You are not crazy. It took a year for my mind's eye to catch up with my weight loss. Everyone else could see my smaller size, I could see it in pictures of myself but I could NOT see it when I looked in the mirror. So yah it was weird and kind of scary going shopping for clothes, grabbing the smaller sizes, trying them on and seeing that they actually fit.

    Congratulations on your weight loss! Enjoy yourself shopping and try on all the new styles - have fun with it - you deserve it!

    :drinker: <--- cheers from a fellow double fisted water drinker LOL
  • Nicolette_Karls
    Nicolette_Karls Posts: 88
    I have the same problem every time I go shopping with people. I'm bigger than my friends and my sister, so I'm always worried that people are secretly judging me because I am larger than the others. It's also rough when they want to try on swimsuits or tight fitting dresses. They either shove sizes that are too big for me into my arms, or they give those half-hearted "oh, you look BEAUTIFUL" even when I know the clothes don't fit me right.

    I've found that going shopping on my own or with my mom is always better. She's honest with me about clothing (though not brutally so), and I don't feel as bad about buying clothes in sizes that my sister could never wear.

    But lhawk, you've come a long way. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't beautiful! Be proud of who you are, regardless of the sizes on the clothes. It's the wonderful, charming woman that's wearing them that really matters. :wink:
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I think your brain lives about 6-12 months behind your body. I still pick up clothes in my size and think "No way am I ever going to fit into that", and then miraculously do, even though I lost all my weight last year. I haven't lost a lb since last September.
  • ovege
    ovege Posts: 110 Member
    Congratulations on your success. I'm glad you posted.

    I feel the same way. I start to get light headed and panicky when I go to the Misses section. Then I start to realize stuff there really fits.

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