I cant do moderation

letsgetskinny88
letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
in Motivation and Support
I am great at loosing weight. I've been very fit at times in life...and then when I've reached goal...and I get busy with things in life...i somehow get back to my junk-eating-not-working-out ways....I put on weight again..not as much as before...but still FAT!!!!

I can't practice moderation! I either eat super healthy or I eat total crap!!! I cant eat JUST ONE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE...i'd either have none or eat a whole box..same for cookies and what not.

Any of you like that?? Have any of you changed your habits successfully?? can I ever be truly skinny permanently?? LOL
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Replies

  • IAMDDAY
    IAMDDAY Posts: 771
    I certainly have a self control issue when it comes to things. I would love to be left alone we some ice cream ummmm
  • Zvyezda
    Zvyezda Posts: 90 Member
    i am the same- can't do it at all, so I avoid it like the plague. But that's not good either because when you restrict yourself so much you start to crave it more. I'm okay all the time I'm busy and when I get home I never have the flat to myself so I can't have any sneaky junk food but I dread being alone now :-s

    Would also be very interested to know if anyone has successfully overcome this!!!
  • deborahjr
    deborahjr Posts: 29 Member
    I am EXACTLY the same.... once I'm not desperately unhappy with my body I slip back, not all the way back, but far enough to get fat again. Some things I have learnt to eat in moderation, other things I CANNOT!!! Chocolate is the worst offender, and not only can i not eat just a piece, but after I've eaten my body weight in it, the next day I want (NEED) more...I crave it soo badly.
    I decided that for these things, the only thing to do is quit, cold turkey. Alcoholics can't have one whiskey, Drug addicts can't have one line, I can't have one piece of chocolate... sad but true!!
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    I am great at loosing weight. I've been very fit at times in life...and then when I've reached goal...and I get busy with things in life...i somehow get back to my junk-eating-not-working-out ways....I put on weight again..not as much as before...but still FAT!!!!

    I can't practice moderation! I either eat super healthy or I eat total crap!!! I cant eat JUST ONE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE...i'd either have none or eat a whole box..same for cookies and what not.

    Any of you like that?? Have any of you changed your habits successfully?? can I ever be truly skinny permanently?? LOL

    you can try to change it or embrace it
    how about cheat day once a week (I do Friday) when you eat that whole bag of doritos and whole choclate bar?
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    I am great at loosing weight. I've been very fit at times in life...and then when I've reached goal...and I get busy with things in life...i somehow get back to my junk-eating-not-working-out ways....I put on weight again..not as much as before...but still FAT!!!!

    I can't practice moderation! I either eat super healthy or I eat total crap!!! I cant eat JUST ONE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE...i'd either have none or eat a whole box..same for cookies and what not.

    Any of you like that?? Have any of you changed your habits successfully?? can I ever be truly skinny permanently?? LOL

    ^^^^ this is ME... I have to completely avoid all my trigger foods. someday I hope I can be someone who can have one square of dark chocolate until that day comes I won't purchase it!
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    I can stay in my 'super healthy' phase when I avoid all junk, eat within 1400 calories...but when I'm back to being a size tiny I'm like...hey I can totally afford to eat a chocolate bar...which becomes 8...if not more.

    Chocolate is my vice. I also ate soooooooo much ben and jerries for this weight gain.....like 2-3 times a week!!! POUNDS CREEP ON!!!
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Have you tried eating different things. I find with dark chocolate one or two squares and Ive had enough. If its a psychological thing though, you just need to work at it. No-one NEEDS a full bag of family sized crisps or a large bar of chocolate.
  • emstaley4
    emstaley4 Posts: 76 Member
    That is me to a tee!! I do really well for awhile and then I say "hey, I can have that _________" and I am off the wagon. I just keep trying and reminding myself that really this is a lifestyle change not a 'diet' because if I tell myself that I have to restrict then it's like I want the not so good stuff even more. I'm really working toward not paying attention to the number on the scale so much as how my clothes fit now. Which really, the scale has not moved in over a month but I can fit into clothes that I couldn't a month ago and I actually had to buy smaller shirts for the summer. I can see definition in my abs and noticed that I don't have saddlebags and my thighs are pretty hard!!! Keep working on it. Friend me if you'd like cause it's helpful for me to hear from people who struggle like I do but don't give up!!! Good Luck!!
  • Alicemay24
    Alicemay24 Posts: 29 Member
    I'm bad at moderation too. When my boyfriend and I decided to move in together I know it would be hell for me because he always has treats around the house. He can have a bowl of MnMs on the coffee table and only have a couple!! I have never had things like this in the house, if ever I would buy a pack of crisps to have handy for visitors, they would be gone before I had even finished unpacking the groceries.

    I did put on weight when we moved in together, I would binge on his snacks when he was out of the house but now, I'm past it I guess. I'm so used to it being there and have eaten so much of it that I'm past it really. Of course it's "dangerous" knowing that there are Mars Bars in the cupboard when I'm feeling like I want to eat something bad but it's not over bearing.

    Maybe try and have some "bad" foods in the house for a while...?
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    one week i'm getting 1 scoop ben and jerries...the next week i'm getting 3 scoops.... :( .. I wonder how I gained weight...but then again I don't!!
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    All I know is that when I am done with my diet and other changes right now..That this site I will be a forever memeber.

    I will ALWAYS have to log my food. u.u
  • TheMiniChick
    TheMiniChick Posts: 1
    I don't know if I'm allowed to recommend this, but it can't hurt - but if you want to change your habits I suggest getting Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin (including the book and CD, I got it for less than a tenner on Amazon) - it helps break the diet/gain cycle by changing your eating habits.
    Seems to be working for me so far - I'm only using this to make sure I'm not eating too few calories whilst using his methods.
    TMC
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    will check it out :)
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Here's the problem I see with not being able to do "moderation" (and I'm not saying you can't.. a lot of people can't handle the things they love in moderation) -- you've said you reach your goal weight and you think to yourself "I can have this or that" and then you're off the wagon and gain the weight back. Do you think you fall off because you've been severely restricting those items? And suddenly being able to eat them makes you go a little crazy with them? I used to think I HAD to do all or nothing. Then I realized that wasn't going to work. I definitely pick and choose the items I want to indulge in (M&M's and cookies for the time being). I count out serving sizes and I portion them out.

    If portioning it out won't work, then I recommend NOT buying an entire bag or container of something. They make small single serving things of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (heck -- they make a DELICIOUS greek yogurt mixture). Or buy a small bag of M&M's ... whatever you really want, buy a small container of it and then there isn't more waiting for you.


    Good Luck.
  • Scoobies100
    Scoobies100 Posts: 82
    I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one. If i ruin it one day by going over... I end up thinking 'stuff it I've gone over already....why not go all the way' and I just don't stop. This is a real issue for me. My exercise saves me from gaining more then a couple of pounds but I rarely lose these days because of it
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    I don't know if I'm allowed to recommend this, but it can't hurt - but if you want to change your habits I suggest getting Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin (including the book and CD, I got it for less than a tenner on Amazon) - it helps break the diet/gain cycle by changing your eating habits.
    Seems to be working for me so far - I'm only using this to make sure I'm not eating too few calories whilst using his methods.
    TMC

    I really need to go back to listening to these too
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    I am great at loosing weight. I've been very fit at times in life...and then when I've reached goal...and I get busy with things in life...i somehow get back to my junk-eating-not-working-out ways....I put on weight again..not as much as before...but still FAT!!!!

    I can't practice moderation! I either eat super healthy or I eat total crap!!! I cant eat JUST ONE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE...i'd either have none or eat a whole box..same for cookies and what not.

    Any of you like that?? Have any of you changed your habits successfully?? can I ever be truly skinny permanently?? LOL

    I thought you were describing ME then! Yes I am EXACTLY like that lol.

    I have reached my goal now, however, I am going to remain on MFP to log my food for maintenance now, before I didn't bother and put 30lbs back on, I definitely do not want to do that again.

    Regarding choccie, I am a chocoholic and I am not mucking about there, I had to cut it all out because if I have any, it will set me back on the path to ruin again - just not worth it.

    Frustrating isn't it.
  • sdag
    sdag Posts: 29
    Exercise more to compensate.
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    frustrating does not even start to describe it. at 24 I've experienced way too many drastic weight changes. I'm honestly tired. If someone offers me candy next time..I'm just going to say NO....
  • londoneye
    londoneye Posts: 202 Member
    I posted this last week. You might find it comforting!

    http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    "A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

    I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

    For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

    Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

    I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

    There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "
  • basj123
    basj123 Posts: 2
    Neither can I on some things. Like I understand what you mean about 1 piece of chocolate, I can't do that, It's an addiction for me. But maybe find some food that you like but don't crave? And weigh yourself every week, it should give you motivation. I think if you get into a routine like an hours run everyday that you'll be fine when you reach your GW to keep exercising
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    Exercise more to compensate.

    There would not be enough exercising to compensate for the amount of calories that I, and I suspect, the OP is talking about.

    We are talking about 1000s, not 100s lol.
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    I posted this last week. You might find it comforting!

    http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    "A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

    I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

    For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

    Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

    I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

    There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

    Sounds like me...... :( I think many of us have gained weight because of our lack of 'moderation'....I have an addictive personality...when I do something...I take it to the extreme.



    chips seem to be the other verdict in this thread, thankfully its not one of the things I'm addicted to.
  • LisaBeateith2012
    LisaBeateith2012 Posts: 346 Member
    <
    Hiya I am the one in the black t-shirt :happy: I cannot do moderation either far from it. Like yourself when I am in healthy mode I am great but when I am in a eat what you want mode I go way over board! At the moment I am on holiday with my family and friends on the Isle Of Arran,SCOTLAND. So I had the rule eat what I want but OMGosh I have taken the p*ss! :sad: All this tasty food and I have went into the eating monster.:frown: You can look at my diary from Saturday until today and you will see what I am talking about!:drinker: I feel disgusted with myself but at the same time I am still doing it! :ohwell: Just cannot do moderation I am a GREEDY MONSTER! :noway: I want to be skinny but I cannot just have one slice of cake I need to eat it all!:sad: It must be a psychological problem I have! You are not alone! :tongue:
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    Exercise more to compensate.

    There would not be enough exercising to compensate for the amount of calories that I, and I suspect, the OP is talking about.

    We are talking about 1000s, not 100s lol.

    Exactly. Some days my chocolate binges were so bad...easily over 3500...maybe even double. Its quite disgusting honestly...I don't know how I'm not obese lol.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I think moderation is much harder than the extremes. You say you cannot regulate yourself well with high-calorie foods. Therefore, you need to avoid them as much as possible. Cake and ice cream are reserved for big holidays and occasions like birthdays of important family members. Sure, you'll occasionally eat at other times, but your default position is that these treats are not things your normally eat.

    Do you want to stay thin or not?

    BTW, it's "losing," with one "o."
  • sdag
    sdag Posts: 29
    Exercise more to compensate.

    There would not be enough exercising to compensate for the amount of calories that I, and I suspect, the OP is talking about.

    We are talking about 1000s, not 100s lol.


    Well, there's a combination of things. I, too, cannot do moderation and I have an addictive personality, as well. I take things to the extreme. If I eat an entire bag of chocolate, or an entire pint of ice cream, I factor it in, cut back on the rest of my food intake for a few days and exercise. I don't lose, but I don't gain.
  • ickybella
    ickybella Posts: 1,438 Member
    This is my problem, too. Still a work in progress.
  • letsgetskinny88
    letsgetskinny88 Posts: 59
    i guess it is OK to let loose sometimes, but...how long this 'eat whatever you what' phase lasts. In my case it was approximately 4ish months...and that is all it took for serious damage to be done! I still fit my clothes from before, which is why I didn't quite realize how much weight I had put on...until i stepped on the scale.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Exercise more to compensate.

    There would not be enough exercising to compensate for the amount of calories that I, and I suspect, the OP is talking about.

    We are talking about 1000s, not 100s lol.

    Exactly. Some days my chocolate binges were so bad...easily over 3500...maybe even double. Its quite disgusting honestly...I don't know how I'm not obese lol.

    I agree. And besides, exercising, while extremely good for you, does not fix the underlying problem, which is the overeating of bad food. If you want to stay thin you cannot rely on exercise unless you are an athlete. And one day you will get injured, or old, or pregnant and you won't be able to exercise at the same level. You have to retrain your eating habits.

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