Body Dysmorphic Disorder

ThePhoenixRose
ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
edited 6:30PM in Motivation and Support
It sucks. Big time. I am not fishing for compliments here, promise. I am wondering if there's others out here who have the same issues as i do. I feel like i'm backwards... most people see pics of themselves, and decide something has to be done. i was the same way. at first. when i saw this picture, i knew something needed to change. It was taken in October 2008.
4750125_6106.jpg
unfortunately, about 2 months later, a life-changing incident occurred that set me back a lot. it took a few years, but eventually, i got back on track, and decided to make some changes. i really began here, in earnest, in August 2011, at 194 lbs. I didn't like what i saw when i looked in the mirror, or in pics. i worked hard, and saw results.
4750125_6380.jpg
Since August 2011, i've lost 30 lbs. I don't really know how much i've lost since that first pic, but it's a decent amount! i had no idea how much i weighed then. i was in a TIGHT size 16, and now have just gotten into a size 10. I'm 6' tall and weigh 164. here's a current tummy pic.
4750125_2809.jpg

So, in seeing these pictures, i KNOW i look different. I KNOW i look better. Why, then, when i look in the mirror, do i still see that girl from October 2008? i can't see what the camera sees. I can't see what other people tell me they see. i don't know HOW to see it. When people hear that i've lost weight, or when they see me now, they'll make comments like "I bet you don't even recognize yourself!" I know it's just a silly thing to say, but i can't help but wish they were right. I take the pics to PROVE to myself that i'm doing it, that i look better, and that i'm not that same girl. but that damn mirror gets me every time...

Replies

  • MrsRipdizzle
    MrsRipdizzle Posts: 490 Member
    I would like answers to this too. I started here "seriously" in August 2011 as well. Have lost 33 lbs. Changed my shape immensely. But still see the fat girl every.time I look in the mirror. What the heck is wrong with us?! :( Oh what I wouldn't give to have long legs like you....and a flat tummy....I can sit here and tell you how freakin' awesome you look but I know you aren't going to believe me. So I'll just send ya a hug and some shooters and say you're not alone babydoll.
  • netsirk12
    netsirk12 Posts: 220 Member
    I am with you guys. Down almost 45 lbs. My clothing size is going down and I am getting tons of complimants however I dont see it myself. I can even pinch extra skin where my fat used to be but I dont feel or think that I look any lighter
  • CrossFitBeast
    CrossFitBeast Posts: 320 Member
    Congrats to you ladies, trust me in my saying you've done quite well and have much to be proud of. For myself I still don't see myself as any better though I know my sizes have changed. Still view myself as quite average though I'm told otherwise on occasion. It's difficult when our mind doesn't reconcile with us physically....
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
    This is hard for me too.. I look in the mirror and I don't see tha same girl as I do in pics of me...sometimes I have to ask 50 times do I really look like that? Even if I know I just took the photo.

    Being that I have seen you, I can assure you yor body has changed and you look amazing :) I can only hope to be able to get back on track and back to a size 10 :) love ya!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Oh, beautiful lady. You know I have the same problem. I see the stretch marks and loose skin on myself more than the 26" waist that used to be almost 20" bigger around. I see the bad instead of the good.

    That's why it's helpful to have a good support system - if not in real life (although that is ideal), then on here.

    Also, you know I love giving compliments, but I am *ALWAYS* sincere when I give them, so know that, whether you believe it or not, I see a strong, sexy, gorgeous, lovely, amazing woman when I look at you.
  • meags1985
    meags1985 Posts: 16
    :( You ALL look so wonderful! But I do know that this is a serious disorder and sadly you most likely need therapy for it.

    If you havent managed to get over the past issues, seek a therapist and allow them to explore options with you and help you realise what it is that is holding your mind back xxx
  • Cmandy67
    Cmandy67 Posts: 108 Member
    Try medication, they may call it an antidepressant but some kinds are more like a multi-symptom medication to treat conditions like body dysmorphic disorder too.

    AND ALTERNATIVE NON DRUG THERAPY IS GOOD TOO

    But in my experience medication helps ease and transition into the process of healing.
  • Minnie92x
    Minnie92x Posts: 107
    Hey honey, I was told I have BDD about a year ago. People laugh and look at me thinking i'm after attention and compliments but actually fail to realise it's a very very serious condition. I go to therapy every 2weeks and am took back to basics and am told every session whats one thing I love about myself and work from there.

    Add me if you wanna talk I know exactly what you feel like and wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't getting help for it! xxx
  • Cmandy67
    Cmandy67 Posts: 108 Member
    Try medication, they may call it an antidepressant but some kinds are more like a multi-symptom medication to treat conditions like body dysmorphic disorder too.

    AND ALTERNATIVE NON DRUG THERAPY IS GOOD TOO

    But in my experience medication helps ease and transition into the process of healing.

    Also try using AFFIRMATIONS, such as telling your self that you are beautiful inside and out, healthy inside and out and train your brain, force yourself to say kind words to yourself about yourself AND YOUR LOOKS.When you catch a gimps of yourself you might just want to say something positive anyway .... always say something positive ... and this will grow on you and turn into self love and just maybe the negative outlook at your weight will dissipate over time. Check out Louise Hay on FB or online or read one of her book on healing.

    BTW you are beautiful in more ways than one.
  • MrsRando
    MrsRando Posts: 155 Member
    I read something about this a very long time ago and I can't find the article for the life of me. Basically, we all have a mental image of ourselves. After losing weight it takes a good amount of time for our mental image to come in line with the actual image. People who've lost weight will see a space they have to get through as too small when they really have a ton of space left over. They look at clothes that are too big for them thinking they will be tight.

    You are still comparing everything to who you were, not to who you are. This happened to me in another area of my life. I always felt less than everyone around me and I realized it was because I was not seeing who I am, but rather who I was. It takes time but it does happen. Just keep celebrating the weight loss! You guys are very inspirational to us starting (or starting over in my case).
  • janemem
    janemem Posts: 575 Member
    I'm the same. I'm 5'4" and down to 114/115lb. I wear size 6 jeans (too big), AGE 11 jeans (kind of ok) and AGE 10 shorts (perfect fit) and yet when I look in the mirror I still think I look fat even though I tell myself it is impossible when I'm wearing kids sizes.
    Even when I shop for clothes I find myself automatically going for size 12/14 and end up trying on all the lower sizes until I find the one (in the girls department). Why can't I just go straight there??
    When people remark on my weight loss I always just brush it off with a "Really? oh no, I've still got a bit to lose yet", the same response I've been giving for months now.
    I honestly do not and can not see what others do.
  • DangerSass
    DangerSass Posts: 124 Member
    Right there with you Babe. I still see the old me. It has gotten a little better but I totally get where you are coming from. You have transformed, many of us have now it's time to embrace it and celebrate and enjoy being comfortable in our own skin.

    BTW I love you for all of your determination and BAness:drinker:

    :heart: Sass
  • Michelleypoo82
    Michelleypoo82 Posts: 156
    I can't claim to have the answer, but please try to love yourselves! Maybe try to write down one thing you like about yourself when you look in the mirror? Keep the list as a constant reminder of how awesome you all are. HUGS!
  • nuskin
    nuskin Posts: 8
    I think one of the main problems is that what motivated us in the beginning was hate for what our bodies became. So now any accomplishment won't be enough. The thing that helps me is I've begun ignoring the mirror and it's images and now try to push execise goals to be happy with. As I achieve those goals I feel better, but since I don't attach an image to it I can take pride in the goal and little by little I've become more comfortable in my "new skin"
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
    IT TOOK ME MONTHS AFTER EACH SIZE I DROPPED TO ADJUST. NOW AT MY LOWEST WEIGHT I STILL STRUGGLE BUT IT HAS GOTTEN EASIER. AS I LOST WEIGHT MY BODY SHIFTED AND SETTLED INTO A NEW WAY OF LOOKING. I NEVER REALLY GOT TO ENJOY IT OR WORK THROUGH ACCEPTING THE SIZE BECAUSE I JUST KEPT DROPPING AND LOSING MORE WEIGHT EVERY FEW MONTHS. NOW THAT I AM STEADY AND MAINTAINING IT HAS BECOME BETTER. I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO WORK ON THE INSIDE WHILE WE CHANGE THE OUTSIDE SO THAT WHEN WE REACH OUR GOAL IT ISN'T SHORT LIVED. SOME OF US ALSO HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS WHICH CAN ONLY LEAD TO UNHAPPINESS OR DISDAIN FOR OUR BODIES. HAVING AN ACHIEVABLE GOAL THAT IS ALIGNED WITH YOUR BODY TYPE, AGE, PHYSICAL ABILITIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIND SUCCESS. I KNOW THAT I AM NOT BUILT LIKE KATE MOSS AND I WOULD END UP HARMING MYSELF IF I PUSHED MYSELF TO EXTREMES TO GET THERE. WORK ON BEING HAPPY AT YOUR SIZE, REGARDLESS THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE OR YOUR CLOTHES. YOU ARE NOT A NUMBER, YOU DESERVE MORE KINDNESS THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF. IF YOU SEE A COUNSELOR THEY MAY GIVE YOU SOME GREAT TOOLS TO HELP YOU STAY MOTIVATED, HEALTHY AND BALANCED. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST! I REALLY DOES GET BETTER AND YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK ;)
    NAMASTE
  • MeliciousGibson
    MeliciousGibson Posts: 248 Member
    I can tell you that for me it's the opposite - kind of. I love how I look in the mirror, but then I see pictures and FREAK OUT!

    I know where my loathing of my body image came from - my weight-obsessed grandmother who, from the time I was 10 years old, has always nagged me about my weight. EVERY TIME I saw her it was, "You've gained 5 pounds...you don't want to end up fat like your other grandma," or, "You've dropped 5 pounds! WONDERFUL! You need to keep that slim and beautiful figure!"

    Oh, how I hate her for doing that....
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
    I started at 270# and I stll see her in the mirror. I KNOW better, but I still see it.
    I sitll go shopping and and head to the plus size section, I still try on size 16 pants, then 14, then 12, then 10... then 8... I grab 1x/2x tops and then realize I actually fit in a medium most of the time but I'll still buy a large. I'm not used to anything tight. I have no idea what size I am and always try on the biggest size first... Oddly, I sometimes see/feel even fatter that I did when I weighed 100 pounds more. Some days are good....but in general, I was that fat girl for so long I'm not sure she'll ever go away.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
    You look fantastic. Nicely done!
  • Chameleone
    Chameleone Posts: 281 Member
    I'm the same way. I've lost almost 25 lbs, and I'm down 2 pant sizes, but for some reason when I look in the mirror I don't see it. I don't think I look much thinner. I think I look alright, but I always thought I looked alright. I've almost reached my goal several times and lowered it again and again because I just didn't see what I wanted to. It also doesn't help much seeing people that are the same height and weight but they look 10-15 lbs lighter than me!

    I'm thinking about going into maintenance after I lose a few more pounds just to see if my brain will catch up with my body.
  • Shells06
    Shells06 Posts: 109 Member
    I can tell you that for me it's the opposite - kind of. I love how I look in the mirror, but then I see pictures and FREAK OUT!

    ^^^This!!! I feel the exact same way! My clothes are fitting better and I even think I look thinner in the mirror. For instance, a few weeks ago my family and I had a team for Realy for Life and we had tdshirts made and I was wearing that and some stretchy Under Armour pants. I thought i looked pretty slim in the mirror. Then I saw the pictures my cousins had taken the next day and I wanted to cry :sad:. So I have no idea what I really look like. What does everyone else see?? The image from the mirror or the pictures?

    OP you look fantastic and have made really great progress! We all can see it and hopefully you will be able to as well!
  • rawfull
    rawfull Posts: 178
    I think you look excellent.
    But whats really important is, how do you feel?
    Do you have more energy?
    Does what you eat make you feel good?
    Eating healthy makes me feel good, it's almost like a dietary anti depressant...

    Check it out... :)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucHEVNX2c9o
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
    My problem is that I don't see the same person in my head that I see in the photo. In my head I am thinner, when I look at myself I see thinner then when I see a picture. I just cannot associate myself with that picture of myself. It is insane.
  • rprussell2004
    rprussell2004 Posts: 870 Member
    This worked against me when I was on my way UP in weight - maybe it's related to this comic:

    397-how-men-and-women-see-themselves_w.jpg

    I had my "image" of what I looked like, and utterly failed to notice 10 years of weight packing its way on.

    And now as I go back down (thanks to friends, family and MFP for getting me back in this habit btw) I swear I don't see the changes. Clothes fit better, scale reads lower, I "look" the same.

    Every so often, when I'm not in a familiar situation - visiting out-of-state relatives, maybe, or the mirror in a changing room - I'll catch sight of myself out of context and get a glimpse of what I guess everyone else sees, but it's rare.

    (Although very rewarding when it happens ;)
  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
    I can tell you that for me it's the opposite - kind of. I love how I look in the mirror, but then I see pictures and FREAK OUT!

    ^^ This for me... When I look at myself up and down or in the mirror I feel I am getting slimmer and look better than when I started, but seeing pics of myself I get all sad. We had a family get together a couple weeks ago and I felt pretty good about myself there and when I saw some pics my cousin took, I was embarrassed and kind of upset that I still looked fat. I some times wonder if its just all in my head ..
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    One thing that's helped me (and was suggested to me in my early 20's by a great therapist... and that I put off doing until my 30's) is to examine yourself mercilessly in front of a full length mirror, naked... do this for days and days and really have it out with yourself... I was hateful & angry for a couple of days at least while doing it... see all your perceived "flaws" and.... then see all the things you love about yourself as well... try to pull it all together as a whole. This helped me tremendously. I still do it.
  • slobkat
    slobkat Posts: 15 Member
    Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a complete nightmare to live with. If you do have it I seriously suggest you see a doctor because that **** will not go away on it's own and it will get worse. Even though it still affects me a lot, I'm a lot better than I used to be but there were days I couldn't even leave the house because I thought I looked so hideously ugly and I would just stay in and cry about how ugly I felt. This had nothing to do with my weight at all, in fact I'm pissed off that I've started to even worry about my weight since it was never a concern of mine until recently, out of nowhere. If you think you have it, get help before it gets worse because it will and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    Thanks for the comments, everyone. I really appreciate it. I'll definitely take some of this advice and put it to use. Good luck to everyone else who is struggling as well. Nice to know i'm not alone... :heart:
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