I feel so hopeless...

sandyyy712
sandyyy712 Posts: 94
in Motivation and Support
My entire life I've always been the chubby kid, the fat girl, always feeling self conscious and not good enough.
Two months ago I decided to lose weight. I started at 140-145ish and through a vlcd and intense exercise I lost about 20 pounds. The least I ever weighed was 117ish and when I did it felt so amazing because I was finally skinny and pretty and felt good enough for myself to look at in the mirror....

This past week/weekend I've been eating so much. Mainly at night I go into the kitchen and have a snack...then another, and another and another. Cereals, chips, crackers, bars, cookies, cheese, so much chocolate and cake..... I'm already up 5 pounds. I don't know how to stop. I consciously get up and walk into the kitchen, knowing that I'm about to do it...I think about it as I'm eating and as I go back for more....
I'm about to just give up on dieting and go all out, fast food sodas and all...what should I do?

I already deal with depression issues and piling this on top is so hard. I'm embarrassed that I'm having to turn to the internet for help...
but I've told my boyfriend about it all but he doesn't get it and my parents are overweight so they don't get it either...what do i do to stop this? I seriously feel so helpless

Replies

  • maureen173
    maureen173 Posts: 27 Member
    You can do it! I can totally relate to everything you're saying, but don't give up! I will write more later, but just hang in there!
  • janelllouise123
    janelllouise123 Posts: 4
    Don't feel hopeless. I recommend you find other foods that are healthy but yummy to put in yoru house:
    yam chips, raisin bran cereal, sesame crackers, rice crackers, make low fat/low cal cookies instead of store bought, sugar free chocolate, shakeology via www.shakeology.com, it taste better than any chocolate anything I have ever tasted. I make chocolate pudding and waffle mix with it! Eat, low fat/moisture cheese, etc. No soda, or at least diet soda...

    There is so much out there you can eat other than the processed food items. I hope this helps.

    I was 70 pounds heavier in December 2010; I'm now 148 - size 6, and I lost the weight in 6 months and have maintained the weight over a year and eat good healthy fun food.
  • AlGalMom
    AlGalMom Posts: 4
    I have a hard time seeing my overall success when I have a temporary failure, too. You have lost 20 lbs! That is spectacular! And even if you gain 5 pounds back, you're still significantly smaller than you started out, and it isn't fair for depression or negative self talk or unsupportive people to take that feeling of accomplishment away. Depression lies. Have you ever read any of Jenny Lawson's (The Bloggess) posts about depression? She is awesome and honest and really does a great job of helping dispel the alone-ness of feeling depressed.

    You are beautiful. You are worth it. You have already accomplished great things, and you haven't ruined anything by falling off the wagon for the past few days. Drink some water, go to bed early, and keep reminding yourself that you've already succeeded! Hang in there!!!
  • eig6
    eig6 Posts: 249 Member
    I cant really tell you for sure why you are snacking at night, it could be many things but maybe you arent eating enough calories through the day? I found myself doing what you're doing a lot when I restricted my food too much (because I thought thats what I had to do to lose weight). If you're doing intensive exercise you need to eat a ton do gain any weight. If you are happy with 117, find out what you're TDEE is for that weight ( I use Fat2fitradio.com) and eat that, dont even bother to subtract any calories, if you are within 5lbs of it right now, you will get there slowly, but you wont be so hungry that you are snacking at night and it will be sustainable. If its only been a few days the 5 pounds might just be water weight/food currently in your system.

    Also, if you think you are depressed, that could be part of why you are over eating. I was my heaviest when I was really depressed because I ate every time I got sad. I recommend going to a counselor or a therapist. I was a total mess for most of my late teen years because I was depressed and I just wish I had talked to a counselor about it sooner because all it took was five months to get my feelings straight and Im 1000 times happier now. Good luck.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
    You look like you're starving yourself.

    Take control. Allow yourself to eat when you need to but YOU decide what you are going to eat. Fill yourself up with whole, nutritious foods and don't really think about the calories for a while. You're going nuts because you are starving. What do you think a starving person in any other situation would do? They'd EAT. You need to do the same.
  • Time4NUME
    Time4NUME Posts: 137 Member
    Well, from the looks of your picture first of all you are not fat. As for you eating bad foods late at night. Yes, that can be a problem when you are watching your weight. I am not sure how many calories you are getting in during the day but thet might be the reason why your eating late at night. Your body is not getting enough food to carry you through the night until the morning. Don't give up ....Maybe you should try and up your intake in the day and make sure you are getting in your water. Also you have to remember that if you are a swimmer you have a fast motablism so more than likely you can eat a lot more calories because of the muscle that you have.. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck... I know you will be fine and I am sure that you will never allow yourself to become overweight because you have seen what it has done to your mother and father. So hang in there.... You can do it if you stay focus and figure out what works for you.

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