why are some people so negative about...

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  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    Well this depends. Sometimes they have really good intentions. I was too skinny once and people who loved me told me, of course I couldn't see it and thought they were being snarky. In retrospect I see it more clearly. Now I know what is healthy for me and if people comment while I'm healthy then I'll let it roll off me because I know I'm at a healthy weight. But if someone loves you it is worth considering what they are saying. To stave off any fears just tell them thanks for their concerns but your doctor says you are in a healthy range for your height.
  • LaSweetMini
    LaSweetMini Posts: 157 Member
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    It really sucks! Its rude and dissrespectful. These people have no idea how hard we work. They probably dont know what else to say so they judge instead of applaud and it probably because they themselves do not like seeing others succeed so they just want to say negative remarks. I get told all the time that I need to eat more and stop losing weight. #1 I eat more than I did when I weighed my heaviest and #2 I am aiming to be healthy and happy so if that means losing this weight then that is what I am determined to do! Dont let it get to you honey! You are better and chose health! Keep at it.
  • msjersey73
    msjersey73 Posts: 182 Member
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    It seems to be an epidemic ... I think there are numerous reasons.

    But I really think it is just ignorance on their part. "We" have strayed so far from what a healthy lifestyle is that it seems harmful.

    ^^^^^^^^TOTALLY AGREE ^^^^^^
  • LaSweetMini
    LaSweetMini Posts: 157 Member
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    I hate people who hate things.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • wurgin
    wurgin Posts: 241 Member
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    i choose to take these comments as left handed compliments and smile and shrug. I mean, we know its good, they do too... no matter how awkwardly it comes out. (shame and jealousy do nasty things to people's ability to communicate well)
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    Obesity is increasingly more prevalent in today's society, therefore people's perceptions of what a healthy body looks like are increasingly warped. Also, it's way easier to dismiss someone as 'too thin' than to accept that you yourself might be unhealthy.
  • Cndressing
    Cndressing Posts: 36
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    I'm in the same boat here too! I just recently decided to stop loosing because everyone started saying the same things. I'm starting to try and tone up more, but the eating more and maintaining is hard. Mentally I mean. To switch off from the wanting to loose weight and eating healthy etc. I'm trying to eat more but my healthy eating habits make it hard to go over 1700 cals a day, and that is the whole point of changing life style while you loose weight. People around me just say well just eat more, force yourself, eat this and they point to something really unheatlhy. I don't think anyone around me understand, and it's hard, because sometimes it feels like I'm full and everyone wants me to eat more, or they see me make a healthy choice of a salad or something and they think i'm starving or am not full and tell me to eat some more. Sometimes I feel really sad. Yesterday someone told me that they hate when girls talk bad about their bodies when I told him I was chubby 6 months ago. He got really mad, and when I told him, I didn't feel comfortable being how I was before he became defensive and didn't let me explain. when people do that to me It makes me sad. I'm healthy and the don't like it.
  • OnionCookie
    OnionCookie Posts: 272 Member
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    It really depends on the person. Some do it because of jealousy, some do it because of genuine worry. I think sometimes ignorance plays a part because they don't know what a healthy body is supposed to look like. I'm at 160 at 5'2 (still no where near thin)and people tell me I need to stop "dieting. Some very rudely and others with concern. When I say my goal weight is 115 to 120, they think of the number as low. They know nothing about what you're going through, what you do.

    I remember reading a poll/study about people underestimating whether they were obese or overweight so ignorance is a big big part.

    Either way, just tell them you know where you need to be and are doing healthy. If niceness doesn't work, then be stern with them.
  • Krys_140
    Krys_140 Posts: 648 Member
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    They're also comparing "new you" to "old you" in their mind - especially if they've only ever known "old you". When you are successful in losing weight, folks have a hard time reconciling their image of you ("old you") with the slimmer, healthier version.

    I lost 40 pounds a few years ago, and my boss, who always meant well, called me "Skinny" as a nickname. I was nowhere near "skinny" as I was still 30 pounds heavier than my goal weight, but I was a HELL of a lot skinnier than I was when I started losing weight.
  • luthage
    luthage Posts: 12 Member
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    Because sometimes it's actually true. I've seen a lot of people burn off the fat AND muscle by going into starvation mode. It makes me worry about their health when they turn into skeletor.

    As long as you aren't starving yourself and you aren't under weight, ignore the comments.
  • ennddiiaassaassnnaacce
    ennddiiaassaassnnaacce Posts: 13
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    Yes, I agree! And often people say things as if they are "concerned", but they are actually being mean and don't really care.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    I get asked all the time if I'm anorexic because of how much weight I've dropped. No. Far from it. I seriously eat like every 2 hours most days. I just don't eat crap. I think a big part of it is that most people want a quick fix without putting any real work into it. I get a lot of looks of disappointment when they find out that I actually work out and eat real food and I don't swallow handfuls of pills.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Yes, I agree! And often people say things as if they are "concerned", but they are actually being mean and don't really care.
    In my experience people often say things as if they are being mean, when they are actually ignorant but concerned.

    Personally, I find my view on life and my interactions with others is enhanced when I apply Hanlon's Razor, which states:
    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
  • HollywoodDJ
    HollywoodDJ Posts: 296
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    When I tell people how much I want to lose they FREAK out on me. I have noticed that my "Skinnier" friends are all so supportive and happy for me that I am doing this and I have had a few of my "Heavier" friends tell me they are jealous or they just give me the cold shoulder. It's been a very interesting journey so far.

    Today one of my MFP friends posted this saying and I thought it was appropriate with this thread too.

    "The only disability in life is a bad attitude! " - Scott Hamilton

    ......Hope you all have a great attitude today and always. Life is amazing with a great attitude but without one it really stinks. And the best part about it....It's Your Choice!
  • ennddiiaassaassnnaacce
    ennddiiaassaassnnaacce Posts: 13
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    That's good! (Hanlon's Razor) No one in my life says things like this to me. I just encountered it on this site yesterday.

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