Cheating (on your spouse, not with food)

You really need to seek some professional help for this, because there are too many variables for anybody to give you an adequate evaluation about your situation. You're placing minimal value on your relationships and the maximum value on your selfish needs, and in the end, you're going to find yourself without anybody.

oy. i'm not even gonna touch this one.

www.howtomakegoodsammiches.com

LMAO....i can't resist this was funny

I think you need help...not just for the issue you raised, but for even giving your 1st world problems airtime.

Pretty sure its called "chit-chat" forum for this reason. To talk about whatever we want?

People judge way to much here. If you don't want to read it click the back button.

first of all..well done on the weight loss - fantastic!
ok I hear you, and can relate...please please please don't act on any temptations, not when you love your husband. You have to think of the bigger picture - would you want to lose him?
believe me if you act on an impulse he will at some point find out - You might think you'll get lucky and he will never know, but SOMETHING always happens, a text not deleted, a number appearing too many times on a phone bill...you will get found out and then you COULD lose him. No fling is worth the pain that cheating brings to both of you. Yes, BOTH of you! what you think is fun is NOT real fun, I could write a book about this! If you feel there is something missing from your relationship talk to your man, tell him what you need, what you long for, be honest and open and think about all the reasons you are with him.

www.howtomakegoodsammiches.com

People are looking at me at work wondering why I'm laughing out loud!! Deeeep breath..

breathhhhhhhhhh 1... 2... 3...
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I have to agree with most people. All these ages you posted, you were a kid and nothing should be taken seriously. It seems that you are in a very happy marriage and you are willing to do what it takes to make things work if a rocky road arrises. If you are having second thoughts of any kind, talking to someone wouldn't be a bad idea. It may clear some things up for you. But the first thing I would do is make sure you are not putting yourself into any situations with other people that you would regret. :brokenheart: Good luck with everything and try not to stress over things.:happy:

Let me preface this by saying, I'm not a fan of this thread. You're right, you cheating does not make you a bad person, and it isn't you that I dislike! But the topic of cheating is such a touchy one for most people.

Since you asked, here are my thoughts.

1. Age is a factor, regardless of how much you feel like you may have loved someone. It is damn near impossible to have a mature relationship at the ages you stated. No excuse to cheat, but it makes sense. I wouldn't call it boredom, but I would say that you found a sense of security in those relationships and routines that made you feel comfortable. So even when you no longer wanted to be in said relationship, you stayed because it was like being with your best friend. But you weren't passionately attracted to them anymore so instead of breaking up and dealing with being alone, you strayed and got a fix.

2. Marriage is not dating. So if you have those thoughts, you need to address them not push them down. Pushing them away will lead to exactly what you want to avoid: cheating. You need to ask yourself why you're having these thoughts. Are you still attracted to him? Were you in similar places in life when you dated and married? Do you want the same things now?
You've got to remember that 24 is still in crucial developmental stage and you will continue to grow year after year. The question is, are you going to grow on your own or with him?

If you think seeing a therapist will help, go for it. But I would say you can't keep these fears to yourself for too long because its not fair for you to deal with day in and day out, and it isn't fair for your spouse to not get your best.

Make sense?

Disclaimer: I'm a mental health professional, but not a therapist! I'm finishing my master's in counseling, but that doesn't mean my advice is sound haha

This isn't really fun OR games, but we'll have to settle for chit-chat. This is a long story, but if you want to, please read on.

This is the biggest confession I've ever made in a public setting.... but I'm gonna fess up: I'm a chronic cheater. :ohwell:

This doesn't make me a bad person, it's just a flaw I have. I haven't done it in YEARS, but still...it's there. To break it down a little:

~Was "bf/gf" with a guy when I was 10-14 and then we broke up bc I kissed someone else (I know we were young, but that's a LONG time in kid years)

~Went out with a guy when I was 15-17 and somehow I fell into an actual "relationship" (not just kissing) with his cousin, ugh

~Went out with a guy when I was 18-21 and I kissed his best friend when we were 20, we didn't break up though, got through it (& then broke up when he slept with someone else)

~Went out with a fantastic guy when I was 21-23, didn't cheat on him, but we broke up for other reasons

~Moved to FL, met my husband when I was 24, married when I was 25, and been together ever since (I'm turning 30 next month).

Now, I know it's hard to believe, but I LOVED all these guys, and I'm not REAL sure why I strayed... Thinking maybe it was boredom? :huh:

I'm just asking for opinions, bc I want to keep my marriage strong. This is not a troll thread. He's the best man I've ever known and I want to make him happy bc he makes ME happy. But there's always that thought in my head of something better... and I want it to go away. Maybe we should spice things up? Maybe I should talk to a therapist?

Talk to a therapist, most chronic cheats have a fear of intimacy. Its not about "spicing things up", if you find the right person its just not that hard to be happy. This is probably an unhappiness with yourself and unconscious needs your avoiding.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

If you're bored enough to stray from the person you're "committed to," do the right thing and break up with them first before you break their heart even more.

If it's not worth breaking up with them, it's not worth ruining your relationship for a few minutes of fun time with someone else.

if you think your man is amazing and you are crazy about him you'll do the right thing
sometime we just need to count our blessings and realise also that the grass is not greener on the other side.

All the best for your tete a tete with your good man

It sounds to me like you've never been in love because if you have, you wouldn't think about something better out there. You would be totally sure that what you have is satisfying for you. It's easy to think you're in love but when you find "real love" it will make you realize that all of those other relationships were just lust.