I am an "unfit" Mom for working out??????

xoalyssaox
xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
I am going through a divorce. My ex and I have been trying to work things out the past two weeks and see if it can work. Well I told him I joined a gym yesterday and now he is saying I am an unfit mom for letting my son be in the childcare center at the gym while I work out. I also work in a daycare and my son comes with me, but I get off work at 1 pm. He has always been verbally and mentally abusive, but this is just ridocolous. He CONSTANTLY calls me fat, and then I FINALLY join a gym and he gets mad!!!! I can NEVER win. I am doing sooooooo good. I stuck to MFP for 2 days now, and worked out at the gym both days. Why is it, that every time I am happy, he brings me down??????

Sorry if this isn't "weightloss" related...But I am so frustrated!!
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Replies

  • kryssy77
    kryssy77 Posts: 219
    Hunny dont you worry about him! Worry about getting healthy for you and your son. You are not an unfit mother at all!

    You keep at it and forget about him
  • April0815
    April0815 Posts: 780 Member
    Sounds like someone is very jealous!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to do what is best for you. Your son is fine. Your husband is trying to control you, don't let him.
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    tell, him "Yes, I'm unfit-- that's why I joined a gym."

    Badump bump
  • neenaleigh
    neenaleigh Posts: 584 Member
    he's jealous cause he screwed up and now the best thing he ever had is goin to be better! thats all, he's just a sore looser....dont let him bring you down!:flowerforyou:
  • butterfly25
    butterfly25 Posts: 186 Member
    soooooo that mean so i am i:blushing: cause there are days i need to put my son in the daycare at the gym and i do have to say he loves to go!!!
  • calvarado
    calvarado Posts: 72
    You are the illustration of a perfectly "fit" Mom for setting the great example to your son that your health and well being are important enough to take ownership of! Good for you for getting away from such a monster! Keep up the hard work, and it will pay off in more ways than you ever intentionally thought of! We are here to support each other- that's what MFP is for. :flowerforyou:
  • rob_in_wisc
    rob_in_wisc Posts: 72
    1. You are being a good example for your child.

    2. You will be healthier and happier because you work out, which means more paitence to deal with the stress of life.

    3. It is important for kids to have some interaction, such as daycare, before starting school full time. They tend to adjust to school much better.

    4. Tell him to get a life of his own. When the only thing he can do to make himself feel better is tear you down, then does not say much for him.

    Just my 2 cents....
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    tell, him "Yes, I'm unfit-- that's why I joined a gym."

    Badump bump



    hahahahahahahahha thats soooooo funny!
  • RHarter0710
    RHarter0710 Posts: 97
    Guy seems to have some issues with himself. I'd blow him off. If he doesn't seem to be able to come to the conclusion that you're doing this for you and your childs life. I'd give anything for my ex to do something like that. Good luck to you... you deserve better obviously.
  • nicolee516
    nicolee516 Posts: 1,862 Member
    I have a friend that has the same abuse issues with her ex-husband. IT'S NOT YOU!!!! He was just mad because he can't control you, so he will try to take verbal stabs at every thing he can think of to try to get you to crack. Don't budge girl! You are doing great! Just keep the stability like you are for your son. Him seeing you be a healthy person will cause him to follow in your footsteps. It may be a tough climb, but it will happen! Keep your chin up and put a "protective bubble" around you. Everything he says bounces off of it and goes right back to him! I know it sounds childish, BUT, you do have to protect yourself from the verbal abuse!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    I am going through a divorce. My ex and I have been trying to work things out the past two weeks and see if it can work. Well I told him I joined a gym yesterday and now he is saying I am an unfit mom for letting my son be in the childcare center at the gym while I work out. I also work in a daycare and my son comes with me, but I get off work at 1 pm. He has always been verbally and mentally abusive, but this is just ridocolous. He CONSTANTLY calls me fat, and then I FINALLY join a gym and he gets mad!!!! I can NEVER win. I am doing sooooooo good. I stuck to MFP for 2 days now, and worked out at the gym both days. Why is it, that every time I am happy, he brings me down??????

    Sorry if this isn't "weightloss" related...But I am so frustrated!!

    Since I assume your son is his son; If he has a problem with him being in the childcare at the gym, maybe he should watch him while you work out..
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    No an unfit mom would give the child nyquil and leave him at home while she goes to the gym.
    He is reality challenged.
  • FireMonkey
    FireMonkey Posts: 500 Member
    Sounds like a total control issue to me. Ignore the negativity and do what's right for you and your son.
  • mrsbice
    mrsbice Posts: 31
    unfit? wow.

    you are making yourself a "fit" mom so you can be a mother much longer!

    he is just angry and is trying to put you down. It is a mental game, if he can make you feel less then, then you are under his thumb.

    Ignore him and keep working out, for you and your son! :bigsmile:
  • silvertears
    silvertears Posts: 106 Member
    I wouldn't listen to him. He's trying to freak you out - if he can make you feel guilty for it, you'll stop and he probably thinks no other man would want you unless you lose weight. It's insecurity on his part and if you just ignore him it gives you the upper hand.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    i didn't read all the posts cause i feel mentally lazy right now

    but what a ****. that is control, i hope you see that.
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
    He's an unfit father for being abusive.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    He's soon to be your ex, and no longer gets to have an opinion about you- not one that counts anyway. He likes to drag you down- that's just how some people are. Plan to have as little to do with him as you possibly can, and get on about your business. On to bigger and better things. :smile:
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Tell him to bite the wall, then take up kick boxing and kick him to the curb!!!:laugh: :laugh:

    As for working things out, I can understand why you would make the attempt because of your son, but if this is an example of how he reacts to something positive you are doing for YOU, you gotta ask yourself, what is it you are trying to salvage? Your son doesn't need a male role model who teaches him to put other people down and control them.

    I wish you the best :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: no matter how things play out. Take care of yourself, and remember "time wounds all heels" :bigsmile:
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    If it wasn't this complaint, it would be another (typical abuser). Tune him out and listen to your own instincts.

    I take my 4yr old to the gym daycare and she LOVES it. I do too :)

    So, good for you!
  • cwvanek
    cwvanek Posts: 111
    I am going through a divorce. My ex and I have been trying to work things out the past two weeks and see if it can work. Well I told him I joined a gym yesterday and now he is saying I am an unfit mom for letting my son be in the childcare center at the gym while I work out. I also work in a daycare and my son comes with me, but I get off work at 1 pm. He has always been verbally and mentally abusive, but this is just ridocolous. He CONSTANTLY calls me fat, and then I FINALLY join a gym and he gets mad!!!! I can NEVER win. I am doing sooooooo good. I stuck to MFP for 2 days now, and worked out at the gym both days. Why is it, that every time I am happy, he brings me down??????

    Sorry if this isn't "weightloss" related...But I am so frustrated!!

    Just ignore him. I know it's hard to do but it's really what would be best for you right now.

    Tell him to tell a family court judge what he told you. He'd get laughed right out of there! Those judges have seen some pretty scary stuff and I highly doubt that a gym daycare is on their lists of horrible things a parent could do to a child!
  • toribug
    toribug Posts: 41 Member
    You are doing the right thing, he is trying to hold you back. You are working on your health to be a good mom, don't let him get into your head. Childcare will not hurt your son, but your husband keeping your self-esteem down will!
  • happylittlebird
    happylittlebird Posts: 15
    Taking your son to your gym where you are doing something positive to keep yourself healthy for your son, as well as the experience your son is having enjoying the differing surroundings and socialization in the gym daycare, is a great thing to do. Keep it up! :)

    Best of luck to you and your son.
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
    If anything, you are becoming the best possible mom you can be for your son! A healthy, fit mom is a mom who is going to be around to share all the joys and triumphs of her childrens' lives. My diabetes doctor is always telling me that I need to take better care of myself so I can take the best possible care of my daughter.
    And by getting away from the abusive relationship you're in, you're just one step closer to being Supermom, because you'll eventually be more relaxed and happy, and that translates to a healthy, well adjusted kid!
  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
    totally agree, my boys go in the daycare at my gym, u do what u have to do to be healthy for ur kids and urself, its important so u can live a healthy happy and full life. He sounds very manipulative and controlling, dont listen to him, he just wants to bring u down and guilt u, thank goodness ur getting away from him!
    unfit? wow.

    you are making yourself a "fit" mom so you can be a mother much longer!

    he is just angry and is trying to put you down. It is a mental game, if he can make you feel less then, then you are under his thumb.

    Ignore him and keep working out, for you and your son! :bigsmile:
  • musclebuilder
    musclebuilder Posts: 324 Member
    theres a saying that goes like this. "you can't keep others down unless you're down yourself" You're making positive steps torwards improving your life. Anybody who would not want you to do that is not concerned with your best interests. And that tells you everything you need to know about that person.
  • slightingscale
    slightingscale Posts: 1,209 Member
    A good author on the subject of control and verbal abuse is Patricia Evans. Google her.
  • pannellkat
    pannellkat Posts: 709 Member
    Sounds like a jerk to me...trying to be nice...no not really...sounds like a JEALOUS JERK TO ME!
  • LittleEva44
    LittleEva44 Posts: 263
    I am going through a divorce. My ex and I have been trying to work things out the past two weeks and see if it can work. Well I told him I joined a gym yesterday and now he is saying I am an unfit mom for letting my son be in the childcare center at the gym while I work out. I also work in a daycare and my son comes with me, but I get off work at 1 pm. He has always been verbally and mentally abusive, but this is just ridocolous. He CONSTANTLY calls me fat, and then I FINALLY join a gym and he gets mad!!!! I can NEVER win. I am doing sooooooo good. I stuck to MFP for 2 days now, and worked out at the gym both days. Why is it, that every time I am happy, he brings me down??????

    Sorry if this isn't "weightloss" related...But I am so frustrated!!

    I remember your first post. About giving him a chance or not. I change my vote :mad: Get rid of him! Believe you me if you'd lose the weight he would STILL biotch about something! And no, you're not abandoning your son just because you're working out! I told you to work out for yourself, for your health, your mind, your body, and your soul! When I run at the PT track I get all my frustrations out! I think, and think, and yeah, I tend to do my best thinking that way!

    Blessings! :flowerforyou:

    Eva
  • jeni26
    jeni26 Posts: 383
    Lots of great words of wisdom here.

    You need to take care of you and your son, and teaching him to be healthy is great... plus, children need to be away from their parents and with other people.
    What is going to happen when he goes to school? My daughter was home with me or her grandmother, and gram got ill and i had to put her in pre-school. Tore me apart to leave her screaming and crying, but wish i did it sooner if I knew.

    Also, I am in a "One last try" relationship myself, whenever I felt angry or frustrated, I started walking. Started 2 miles toook me an hour, Now I do 6 miles in an hour. I focus my energy on exercise ... or a bubble bath, not food.

    Stay strong and keep up the great work!
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