Anyone else find this odd?

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245

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  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I thank my lucky stars that I have a very supportive group of friends and family who have never said these sorts of dumb comments!! Only a couple co-workers who are acquaintances at best have said such things to me like "you're not going to lose anymore weight, right?". I kind of hate it when people call me skinny (partly because I'm not really there yet and partly because that has nothing to do with my goals) but I understand that's just how people think so I just smile and say thanks.

    On one hand, I get it, I've been heavy for so long people are just used to me looking that way so it's kind of a shocker. On the other hand, I've lost my weight slowly over the last 2 1/2 years and they see me going to the gym every day and even see me going to the candy store or buying a cookie in the cafe - so it's obvious that I'm not starving myself or going to extremes.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    No, I don't find it odd. People on a message board only see the parts of you that you choose to show them while the people in your real life see more, know you better and are more invested in you.

    I have to agree with this. Usually, though, if someone really cares about you (in IRL), then they learn not to say those things to you. So even if they keep their opinions to themselves, they are still supporting you.

    For the most part, people in my real life don't discourage me. My mother went through a few moments of thinking I was anorexic (at 130 pounds when I was 110 most of my life, but whatever ...) and that was it. But I can see how in some cases people IRL may have a genuine concern even if it's unfounded.
  • nlawing
    nlawing Posts: 36
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    To all of you on this thread:

    Keep being awesome! :bigsmile:
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
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    I’m sure people here provide more support, but that is because they have a vested interest in the subject, go on a cog head site, and you can talk cycling all day without a single rolling of the eyes, same for a gear head site, or any other [insert your passion/obsession] Here most people are all in the same place with the same interest.
  • mmarin81
    mmarin81 Posts: 241
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    I think it is mostly because on here we all share a common goal. Also for someone who sees us everyday when we were bigger and then we lose a bunch, to them we just dont look the same or right to them I guess. If any of that makes sense.

    But I do totally agree with you on that. I have been lucky to have a good deal of support but its not 100% across the board with everyone I know. But I am happy with the support I receive on here as well as real life.
  • christinedadali
    christinedadali Posts: 4 Member
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    Unfortunately after reading some of the other posts, this is a recurring theme..........I too do not have good support group at home. I think that's why we have ( at least for me) we have come here to get support from others who are in the same boat. I am new here and don't have any friends yet but am hopefull to finally find the support I have been lacking in my life. My frustration comes from people in my life knowing and expecting me to be the fit person I used to be but I had some setbacks in life ( not an excuse) and stopped taking care of me. Now I am trying to relearn how to be healthy and anyone who has any advice I would greatly appreciate it! Please add me if you would like and have a wonderful day all!
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I keep getting "180lbs!!! You will look sick...don't do it, stop now!"

    I like this website, I like my friends on MFP more than my IRL friends lol too bad they all live so far away!
  • Sam3622
    Sam3622 Posts: 172 Member
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    Totally agree!
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
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    I keep getting "180lbs!!! You will look sick...don't do it, stop now!"

    I like this website, I like my friends on MFP more than my IRL friends lol too bad they all live so far away!

    Word.
    As one woman said "If you get to 170lbs, you won't be attractive anymore."
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
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    I know I'm not "fat," but I'm fatter than I want to be. That seems to be the point I can't get across to my real life peeps.

    THIS is exactly the same boat I'm in right now. I feel you. :)
  • losingitincollege
    losingitincollege Posts: 70 Member
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    The people, the wonderful people, on this board have the same common goal - fitness. Everyone else is out life does not have that goal.

    This!
  • lilpe5512
    lilpe5512 Posts: 425 Member
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    I hear this also. I've always been the family cook and host most of the family gathering.

    A lot of the dishes I use to make, I don't make anymore and I get complaints all the time. But they never stop coming over for dinner. To be honest all of the family, except for 2-3 people, can stand to lose a few pounds.

    I'm hosting Sunday dinner and I will will be making mock mashed potato and spaghetti using squash instead, if I can find.

    Can't wait to see the reactions!
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Threads like this make me feel grateful for having having classy friends, family, and coworkers. Not a single person has given me **** for losing weight.
  • mjsunshine16
    mjsunshine16 Posts: 251 Member
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    I feel people close to us get jealous or have gotten so use to my chubby self that lost weight is a foreign world to them. When people can't except change they can be harsh.

    We are all on the same page here and know how important encouragement is. I love the support here and soak it up!
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    I am extremely lucky to have encouraging family, friends and co-workers. MFPeeps are just the cherry on top :) I like cherries!
  • d0gma
    d0gma Posts: 3,966 Member
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    "your on edge lately, you need to get laid"

    Next time they say that, get a worried look on your face and say "That's not an offer, is it?"
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
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    "your on edge lately, you need to get laid"

    Next time they say that, get a worried look on your face and say "That's not an offer, is it?"

    I hope it wasn't a relative that said that. It could get awkward.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Not only do I find it strange but at the same time very sad. Because those who are supposed to be the ones who should support you are the ones who are doing it against you. This applies not only in fitness but also in other areas of life. I don't have any friends in person & those that I consider my true friends are the ones that I met on facebook, mfp & we chat. So sad but sometimes we encounter our mutual partners or friends in not so expected places like the internet.

    Oh & my family is no exception to this either =(
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 181
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    My best friend says this to me all the time. She just told me yesterday I was "too skinny" on my wedding day(not true I was in the best shape of my life thank you, I ate like a pro football player and was solid muscle). She also inists I look "normal" at 30 pounds overweight these days... I just blow it off but it does get frustrating -especially since she is home crying over her 30 pounds of baby weight right now.
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
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    I agree. Sometimes my boyfriend is super supportive and other times he gets kind of mad about my food logging and tells me to just eat stuff. But just eating stuff without taking into account its nutritional value is what caused me to gain so much weight in the first place! He also gets frustrated if my workouts don't work out with his schedule, but then again, he also sometimes sets up a whole area for me to workout so that he can use my usual space without conflict. He also cooks my healthier food alternatives for me most of the time, so IDK. He is mostly supportive, but on the days he isn't, logging onto MFP helps.

    My grandma also isn't so supportive. Every time I lose weight and get into a healthy weight range she swears I am starving myself and sends me home with all sorts of processed food grossness. lol. I guess that's a grandma thing, though. In a way its kind of cute. If anyone else did it I would probably get angry, but its Gram.

    Aside from that, my boyfriend's dad is kind of a **** to me about my being a vegetarian. He is totally beating a dead horse because I have been a vegetarian longer than I have been with my boyfriend. Its not going to change. He has repeatedly tried to argue with me about my choices, has snuck beef stock into potatoes (which I noticed on my first bite and called him out on and he was surprised I was able to taste it and confused as to why it upset me...), constantly tells me that animals are on this earth to eat, constantly waves meat right in my face... etc etc etc... but the rest of my boyfriend's family has been more than accommodating. They make vegetarian versions of everything if they know that I am coming over to eat. No one in the family really likes his dad, though, so I guess he is just a **** in general.

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