How to get your man to workout?

Happylady123
Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I love my hubby, and he is my best friend. I wish he cared about his appearance. It would really be nice if he was into working out. I work hard to stay in shape and would like a little eye candy for me, too. Is it wrong for me to feel this way, and how can I get him to care?
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Replies

  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. Just lead by example - cook healthy meals, build movement into your together/family time and wait for him to decide that he needs to do it for him.
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    1. It's not wrong to feel that way

    2. You probably can't push him to care
  • Anayalata
    Anayalata Posts: 391 Member
    1. It's not wrong to feel that way

    2. You probably can't push him to care

    +1
  • Pickles11
    Pickles11 Posts: 310 Member
    Agreed you might not be able to get him to care.

    That being said, when I decided to get in shape, my husband wasn't as motivated as me. I used MFP and worked out 3 or 4 months on my own without him really being part of it. It was tough, because when I was trying to count calories in dinner, he would just throw ingredients in without really thinking about it .

    When I started seeing great results and started LOVING exercise and running, and it was all I could talk about, he started to get inspired and got into working out himself. He lost as much as I did in 4 months in like 3 weeks (darn men....) and 5 months later we are always looking for fun active things to do together. Because we are both at goal, we no longer stress about every calorie, but we still always make healthier choices and it has proved to be so great for us to be on the same page.

    Sometimes it isn't putting pressure on someone that works- sometimes it just takes some inspiration. I recently got into biking like crazy and got a new bike for my birthday- my husband has used my bike several times and we plan on getting him one so we can do it together. Maybe you could get him to think of exercise activities as no exercise but fun, active things you can do together.
  • sweetpeaz12345
    sweetpeaz12345 Posts: 64 Member
    Im totally in the same boat... It's hard having a partner that does not want to be motivated and throws unhealthy choices into your shopping cart at the supermarket...
  • nhga47
    nhga47 Posts: 118
    One of my good friends has the same problem. She is all about going to the gym while he wants to sit on his *kitten* at home. I just went shopping for my nutrition plan with insanity. This eating several times a day is going to take some getting used to! I just looked in the mirror one day and said enough is enough. Maybe he will reach that point as well. We can hope! :)
  • Pimpmonkey
    Pimpmonkey Posts: 566
    I love my hubby, and he is my best friend. I wish he cared about his appearance. It would really be nice if he was into working out. I work hard to stay in shape and would like a little eye candy for me, too. Is it wrong for me to feel this way, and how can I get him to care?


    treats and rewards :wink: just like training a puppy!
  • dunc289
    dunc289 Posts: 54 Member
    Here's the thing.

    A lot of us men take an inordinate amount of pleasure in deliberately not giving a monkey's about things girls care about. Appearance, tidyness, and footwear to name but 3.

    It's what we do.


    You might have to be cruel to be kind and just tell him he's lost some zing. Don't overdo it though. Once a month is enough. Too much and it becomes nagging, which never works.

    Any advice on how to do the same with my hard working, 2 jobs wife would be much appreciated though.
  • Happylady123
    Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
    Yeah I get that part about not caring about what a girl cares about. That is what makes you guys male. I will say that he does change his shoes, shirt, etc. when asked when we go out.

    My hubby is also a workaholic. That may be the main problem overall. He just doesn't fit the healthy life style in. He eats out a lot, but sometimes chooses healthier options at least when he is with me. He does rides bikes and horses with me. It is not like he is a couch potato, so I am glad of that.

    As far as your wife goes... not sure why she is working so much, but it sounds like she may be getting her payoff from work. I mean it may be what makes her feel valued. Or it may be just getting bills paid. Try caring more about the "girl things" and she may want to be around more. Good luck, and thanks for your post.
  • Happylady123
    Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
    Agreed you might not be able to get him to care.

    That being said, when I decided to get in shape, my husband wasn't as motivated as me. I used MFP and worked out 3 or 4 months on my own without him really being part of it. It was tough, because when I was trying to count calories in dinner, he would just throw ingredients in without really thinking about it .

    When I started seeing great results and started LOVING exercise and running, and it was all I could talk about, he started to get inspired and got into working out himself. He lost as much as I did in 4 months in like 3 weeks (darn men....) and 5 months later we are always looking for fun active things to do together. Because we are both at goal, we no longer stress about every calorie, but we still always make healthier choices and it has proved to be so great for us to be on the same page.

    Sometimes it isn't putting pressure on someone that works- sometimes it just takes some inspiration. I recently got into biking like crazy and got a new bike for my birthday- my husband has used my bike several times and we plan on getting him one so we can do it together. Maybe you could get him to think of exercise activities as no exercise but fun, active things you can do together.
    Totally not putting pressure on him... that is the surest way to get him headed in the other direction. He is coming around. Last night he rode bikes with me. I think it is just less of a concern for him, because he has so many other things pulling at him. Thanks for your reply.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    Sexual positions that require some core strength? Give him some incentive. :laugh:
  • Happylady123
    Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
    Thanks, guys, for the replies. I guess it just confuses me how he can walk around with no shirt on and let it all hang out. It truely does not seem to bother him. Not trying to be mean, but I want to cover him up. I know... I am going to hell. lol
  • robinogue
    robinogue Posts: 1,117 Member
    I don't. It's not my husbands thing, he's not into it and I love him and want him healthy but I can't push him to do something he does not enjoy.
  • Drastiic
    Drastiic Posts: 322 Member
    If you haven't talked to him about, don't think he can read your mind.
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    You don't....each person is an individual and has to want to do this!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    I'm not even gonna read the responses;

    Step 1: Lead him to bedroom
    Step 2: Become naked
  • jones137
    jones137 Posts: 89 Member
    We are not subtle creatures........things have to hit us in the face to wake us up.

    One of the most important things for us is not to be considered a failure.......and if we feel like one we'll become motivated to change.

    My motivation was my 3 year old son whispering "fat boy" in my ear......not sure if my wife put him up to it or if he came up with it on his own but if definitely motivated me to change and make them be proud of me and to be the example.

    You, or more preferably one of the children or grandchildren, need to ride his case a little to get him to change. You'll make him mad initially but he'll thank you latter.
  • 152dbs
    152dbs Posts: 116 Member
    Portion control his eating...when he works out, make bigger meals.
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
    I love my husband dearly but feel the same way, I know he would lose interest if I didn't put so much effort into my body. My husband has started working out with me but still has some bad habits he needs to break. I cook most of the meals so he eats healthy because I do. I just try to give him motivation and tell him how awesome hes doing. I'm just leading by example and hoping he gets to the point he feels he needs to make a change, either way I love him!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    If "I love you but I'd be a lot more sexually attracted to you if you ate better and worked out with me" doesn't work, nothing will

    Going to the gym to get in shape is very different from having a naturally active lifestyle. You have almost no chance of getting him into a gym, but if you guys regularly ride bikes together and can eat better as a family, then not only do you have a good chance of succeeding with him, but it's a lifestyle change rather than a temporary "lose weight" tactic.
  • MtnKat
    MtnKat Posts: 714
    Hopefully your enthusiasm will affect your hubby. It works for me. When I'm excited about something, eventually he conforms to "my way of thinking" ....even if it's small changes (like no more candy bars at midnight or taking stairs instead of the elevator).

    I never push him.....but if you are happy and excited about something, it shows....and sometimes it will leak on to your partner.

    But, just like everyone says, it has to be his decision (just like it was yours). It's better to share your life with your partner.,...not run their lives instead.

    Good luck!
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    bribe him with... well you know what all men would do anything for...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    Have him chase you down for sex.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • MtnKat
    MtnKat Posts: 714
    bribe him with... well you know what all men would do anything for...

    LOL

    After 16 years with my hubby....that no longer works lol He KNOWS that I want it too... :-)
  • antiqueembryo
    antiqueembryo Posts: 4
    My boyfriend started using MFP about 3 months after I did when he saw me working out all the time, counting calories, and looking much better in my swimsuit. I would ask him questions like, "Do you think my marketability has gone up since I lost 8 lbs?" while turning around in my two piece... He seemed to take the hint and has lost 20 lbs in a couple of months.

    I have also been reading a lot of books about health and fitness and sharing little pieces of information with him. He's a computer science nerd, so he's into all of the apps. My favorite one is "Fitness for Geeks" which has a lot of great information on training regimens and vitamins. Now he wants to borrow the book when I'm done. I can actually see some tone in his abs now. He looks so much better. Good luck with yours!
  • Happylady123
    Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
    I love my husband dearly but feel the same way, I know he would lose interest if I didn't put so much effort into my body. My husband has started working out with me but still has some bad habits he needs to break. I cook most of the meals so he eats healthy because I do. I just try to give him motivation and tell him how awesome hes doing. I'm just leading by example and hoping he gets to the point he feels he needs to make a change, either way I love him!
    This is pretty much what I am doing, and it is slowly working. He has lost about 15 pounds. I think I need to do a little bragging and carrying on to motivate him. I am not as good of a cheerleader as I could be.
  • 2143661
    2143661 Posts: 566 Member
    I'm not even gonna read the responses;

    Step 1: Lead him to bedroom
    Step 2: Become naked

    Exactly what I was thinking!
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Work out yourself. When you start getting noticeably in great shape, he's not going to want to be "that guy" that everyone looks at and thinks "wtf is she doing with him" so he will more than likely jump on board and tone himself up.

    That's how it worked with my husband at the time (now ex)
  • Happylady123
    Happylady123 Posts: 166 Member
    Have him chase you down for sex.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    I like that!
  • MommaGgame
    MommaGgame Posts: 5
    I made him his own account on MFP and logged all of his meals for a couple of days. Then I took all of his measurements and logged them. Then I showed him how many calories over he was per day (upwards of 1000). And then I showed him at the bottom of each food journal entry is estimates how much he'd weigh in 5 weeks if he continued on the same path, and guess what? He's a little more conscious about what he puts in his mouth now!! I'd totally say to give that a try. When all else fails, I tell him that we need to lead by example and show our son that it's a good thing to be healthy!

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