How do I get over the embarrassment of being at the gym?

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  • anels449
    anels449 Posts: 3,187 Member
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    I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

    It's not pathetic; it's normal. Everyone goes through those fears, including the hot, perfect body chicks. The key is to just say "f*** it, I'm doing this for me and they can all suck it." It's gonna take time, but it's totally worth it in the end. You're going to the gym to better yourself, of course you're not going to be perfect immediately. I always joke around saying if they can't deal with my giggly a** then they really don't need my money.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    That's not pathetic, I quite understand.

    I think the only thing to do is to concentrate on what you are doing and be proud of your achievements. Comparing what you do to someone else will always make you feel inadequate - but comparing what you can do NOW compared to one month (or one year or one decade) ago makes you feel great!

    The other thing I've learnt is that most people are so self-centred and self-absorbed that they really don't care about you. Sad but true! Or that if they notice you and think anything, there is a good chance that it might be something like "hey, cute t-shirt" or "hmmm, I really should add that exercise into my routine" or "hey, she looks like me when I started out, good on her for getting into it" or "that reminds me, I need to book a hairdresser's appointment, that colour would look good on me" or...... well, you get the idea!
  • sheemoo
    sheemoo Posts: 4
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    Not to sound like a complete brat, but no one is looking at you or judging you when you're at the gym. Unless you're showing up in a sports bra and a pair of volleyball shorts and letting everything hang out, no one will even look twice.

    Trust me, I felt the same way when I first started. Then I realized that the other people at the gym were pushing themselves to do their workout and they were completely oblivious to me even being there. Focus on you and making yourself feel/look better. Good luck getting over this feeling of insecurity...it was hard for me, too, but it can be done!

    This^
  • sschmidt928
    sschmidt928 Posts: 39 Member
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    Definitely hire a trainer for a session or two to show you how to use the machines, that way you won't feel as awkward AND you'll be able to use those machines properly, and then just go and do it. Bring your music, do your thing, and as you get more comfortable doing it, you won't even notice the people there. Does your gym offer classes? Those are a really good way to get in a good workout, with a trainer, and where everyone else is so busy doing the class they won't have time to notice you.
    I do a boot camp workout with a large group of women and most of them are waaay more fit than me. I know for a fact that we are all too busy kicking our own a**es to even notice one another except to give a quick high-five or a "yeah girl". I felt so awkward my first class, so sure all these women were judging the chubby chick in the back... and you know what? They weren't. They didn't have the time or the inclination. Everyone in the gym has the same goal - to get and stay healthier, and everyone who shows up and does the work has the right to be there. So get out there and be proud of yourself - you're working hard to get to your goals and you deserve a big high five and a "yeah girl!".
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    just go. know that you are bettering yourself and that everyone has to start somewhere.

    my partner made fun of my burpees the other day. i stopped doing them. but this reminds me that i can't stop because of some stupid comment.

    wear an outfit that you think is cute.

    play your favorite tunes.

    and know that you rock and you are being the best that you can be.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    I could say no one in the entire gym will look at you or judge you, but that would be a lie. Sorry, but it is the damn truth. Some people are that way and saying no one is looking won't change it and I won't lie about it. I mean, c'mon, you were looking when you noticed how in shape some other people were. The point is that you shouldn't care who is looking and need to remember you will probably only see these people at the gym and they are not important to your real life because they aren't anyone you care for deeply. Even if they were, they would love you the way you are, so no matter. I used to feel that way and then I realized that one day when I am looking tone, healthy in shape I can look anyone who made fun of me in the eye and smile, without giving a darn what they think of me and finally feeling better about myself. You will never get to the moment when you look in the mirror and you're proud of your work unless you stop caring how other people look at you....Really, what does it matter? It won't kill you, it won't make you fatter or thinner, and it won't make you any different of a person just because some stranger looked at you and gossiped in their mind. There is also more to being in shape than how you look. I have seen some people heavier than me running on the treadmill at my gym and I didn't think "Wow, she's so fat and looks funny running on that treadmill." I thought "Wow, I wish I could run on that treadmill." lol. I think more props in my mind to someone who is bigger than me and yet seems more capable of working out at a difficult level because I know that when I am heavier it is more difficult for me to work out, so I figure it must really strain them and they still try "like a boss!" to work out.
  • FitBunnyEm
    FitBunnyEm Posts: 320
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    Head phones in, favorite music on and go at it... if that doesn't work - hire the trainer then you'll learn proper form and you'll have his undivided attention! LOL!!

    If all else fails... here's a great pinterest quote - "No matter how slow you are going you are stil lapping everyone on the couch!"

    agree with above, i used to feel like this, i got someone to show me how to use everything so i was confident...dont give up, and most people just get on with it and wont notice u...keep it up :-))))
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    I never judge anyone at the gym, regardless of fitness level. I alway think fair play to them. I think most decenr folk think the same way. No need at all to be embarassed
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    Get a personal trainer. You need confidence. The gym can be intimidating. After a week with a trainer, you'll have a program and you'll look like you know what you are doing. That is important for your confidence.

    Your shape is your shape. You won't change that in the short term. But with confidence in what you are doing at the gym will come a bit of "attitude." That will more than make up for any short term body deficiencies.

    Good luck.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    Get a personal trainer. You need confidence. The gym can be intimidating. After a week with a trainer, you'll have a program and you'll look like you know what you are doing. That is important for your confidence.

    Your shape is your shape. You won't change that in the short term. But with confidence in what you are doing at the gym will come a bit of "attitude." That will more than make up for any short term body deficiencies.

    Good luck.
    Too true! I always have a feeling of accomplishment and a month or two ago I had a NSV (non scale victory) where I ran a block or two....It may not sound big, but I have always had a terrible fear of running in public, so for me it was something I was very proud of.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
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    Go for it, smile , work hard and enjoy your workout. It is a good idea to have someone show you how to use everything (ignore achines, its all about the free weights baby).

    If your gym has classes, go to some :). I was so nervous when I first started going to classes, and was the chubby one in the back, but Ive made so many wonderful friends, that now every time I see someone who is overweight or struggling in a class, I smile at them, give them a keep it up gesture, and say hi. Go chat to people, make some workout friends, and dont worry about what people think. You are there and thats the most important thing. :)
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Who knows where they came from?? Imagine them fat & keep going at what you need to do for yourself!!
  • rebrcca3434
    rebrcca3434 Posts: 67
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    Do you really need a gym? I mean you can go walking in your neighborhood or get aw/o DVD. I'm not a gym person but I might sign up if I need a change. I understand what you mean about being self conscious but maybe you're not at the right gym. But if someone would actually put down someone who's trying to get healthy shouldn't phase you. I mean what kind of person does that? Not someone worth thinking about.......
  • FooFatFighters
    FooFatFighters Posts: 37 Member
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    A 300+ pound person on Reddit just posted this about going to the gym amongst the ultra-fit. http://tinyurl.com/7rk4c3l

    If you have questions about the gear just ask the staff. If you need a trainer usually there are contacts listed on info boards at many gyms. There's no need to be embarrassed, as they know you're there for self-improvement and folks who care about fitness applaud that. I know a few fitness freaks that are judgmental, but they're pretty much judgmental about other fitness freaks that are about the same level or usually a higher level than them (guess they're jealous).
  • ericgAU
    ericgAU Posts: 271
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    Just remember that gyms are beautiful havens of self-centeredness. No one's looking at you. They're looking at themselves. You just put on the headphones and do your thing.

    ^^^^

    This! When I finally worked this out for myself (I too suffered with this anxiety) I now just go at it 100%. Over time you will learn good form and how to use all the equipment.
  • tobnrn
    tobnrn Posts: 477 Member
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    Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face; You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

    By continuing to go to the gym no matter your feelings, you will build confidence. You got this. Now go have fun at the gym. :)
  • eiha
    eiha Posts: 27
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    Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face; You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

    By continuing to go to the gym no matter your feelings, you will build confidence. You got this. Now go have fun at the gym. :)

    Brilliant advise

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