I don't think weight has anything to do with attractiveness

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  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    Having said that, I wish we all could retrain our society to view obesity not in terms of worth or attractiveness, but rather in terms of quality of life. I wish that instead of desiring to be a size X because society will look upon your more favorably, we could desire to be a BMI of X indicating health and fitness.

    Just my 2 cents.

    Love this.
  • angie6171
    angie6171 Posts: 18 Member
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    That just about brings a tear to my eye because you don't know what that means to me! I couldn't agree more! My husband of 21 years met me when I weighed 125lbs and tells me I'm beautiful all the time even when I was over 300lbs! I am doing this for myself. My family has always put me down since I gained the weight. I never had a weight problem until I started living with my husband. He could eat what he wanted and I found out quickly I couldn't. Anyway, long story short I've often wondered if my mom would want to talk to me again when I lose a bunch of weight and then I thought why couldn't she accept me the way I am anyway. Thank you for posting this! Love to you all!
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
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    Hi,

    I know some of you are just starting out on your fitness journeys. I just want you to know that you are loveable just the way you are. Do this weight loss thing for you and your health. It's not about what others think of you that matters. It's what you think of yourself. So many people think if they lose weight they'll be prettier or more likable. If someone doesn't like you big than maybe their too superficial to be friends with anyway. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love yourself and realize that you deserve to be fit and healthy. It's not about the outside so much but it's about getting to your happy place. That starts from within. All the best to each and every one of you!

    Ramgi (The female Rambo)

    Well said!
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    If being found attractive is what motivates an individual then I say keep on keepin' on. If it works for you, use it.
  • Alinecita
    Alinecita Posts: 4
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    Thanks so much for your very kind words! I'm glad that I read this first thing in the morning!
  • Kryssaxo
    Kryssaxo Posts: 54
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    Trust me, I do like me some Magic Mike type guys but they're only for eye candy. I never picture myself with a person like that so I don't think anyone should think they have to look like that unless it's for themselves. Thank you for this topic. A great reminder of the important things :)
  • Loeski5
    Loeski5 Posts: 56
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    This is great! Very well put. I agree that weight has nothing to do with attractiveness. I was with my ex for 5 years and I only weighed 150 lbs when we met. I got all the way up to 243 while I was pregnant and now I'm 220 and he still loves everything about me (even though we're not currently together). I have met very few men that haven't been attracted to me because of my size and that says a lot. I think attractiveness has to deal more with how you look at yourself versus what the scale says are what the MD BMI chart says your "ideal" weight should be. Any change that you want to make in your life starts from your mind and within yourself and goes from there. Like my pastor always says, "When you change your mind. You change your life." ^_^
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    For the sake of discussion, though is it wrong or unfair to admit that in our society weight is one measure of physical attractiveness and that it plays a role? Having been nearly 400 pounds and still 278 pounds on the way down, I will tell you that the physical attributes of morbid obesity to influence other people's opinions of you. To say one should simply "ignore" those opinions is a lofty ambition but not realistic.

    Having said that, I wish we all could retrain our society to view obesity not in terms of worth or attractiveness, but rather in terms of quality of life. I wish that instead of desiring to be a size X because society will look upon your more favorably, we could desire to be a BMI of X indicating health and fitness.

    Just my 2 cents.

    I'll second this. If you go into a business meeting, and your waistline is larger than the chair you're sitting in, no one will take you seriously. It's not a matter of "attractiveness," but a matter of "if this person can't control his/her weight, how can we trust him/her to take care of our company." That being said, I personally have a similar issue with people who are overly muscular.

    I'll add to the BMI thing: It's a general measurement system, and people often put it off because of that. What should be measures is what percentage of your weight if body fat. Ideally, for men, it should be between 8 and 15%. Any lower or higher, and you're risking your health. I don't know what it is for women...

    With the BMI scale, you may be slightly above or slightly lower and there's not a whole lot you can do about it, because of your genetics. Some people are built big (but not necessarily fat), other people are build thin (but not anorexic).
  • TiffanyDeanee
    TiffanyDeanee Posts: 158
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    Hi,

    I know some of you are just starting out on your fitness journeys. I just want you to know that you are loveable just the way you are. Do this weight loss thing for you and your health. It's not about what others think of you that matters. It's what you think of yourself. So many people think if they lose weight they'll be prettier or more likable. If someone doesn't like you big than maybe their too superficial to be friends with anyway. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love yourself and realize that you deserve to be fit and healthy. It's not about the outside so much but it's about getting to your happy place. That starts from within. All the best to each and every one of you!

    Ramgi (The female Rambo)

    Inner beauty doesn't make initial attraction......just saying. I agree with what you said.....but weight definitely has something to do with attractiveness.

    This^

    Even though I am told that I am beautiful and have a wonderful personality and I am an intelligent woman, guys ( in STL anyway) simply put me in the friend category. I believe this is because I am overweight.
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
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    Dream on
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    Having said that, I wish we all could retrain our society to view obesity not in terms of worth or attractiveness, but rather in terms of quality of life. I wish that instead of desiring to be a size X because society will look upon your more favorably, we could desire to be a BMI of X indicating health and fitness.

    Just my 2 cents.




    I completely believe it is about health and fitness. I don't have much weight to loss, I have gained back 13 since I was at my best. But that 13 lbs and lack of exercise is enough to bring back my diabetic problems.
  • Lambeze
    Lambeze Posts: 237
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    Thta is so true. Its how your handle yourself that makes you beautiful.
  • cali1104
    cali1104 Posts: 5
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    You're so right! I know some of the skinniest, healthiest, prettiest people and a good amount of them are mean horrible people which, takes away from all that "beauty"! Being "attractive" goes so much further than your "outward" features hence, "beauty comes from within"! I hate when people say, "oh, you have a cute face"! Really? No pun intended but, I'm so much more than that; and as a society, I think we lose out on great "friendships" in life! If you don't love yourself now, the weight loss won't matter! :)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Now that I'm in better shape, and 100lbs lighter, I pick up tons more girls without even doing anything.


    Show them a lean, tanned body and they're practically feeding me grapes and fanning me with palm fronds.
  • susi819
    susi819 Posts: 50 Member
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    THANK YOU. Great Post!! I have learned to love myself as I am, skinny or fat. All this after suffering my teen years with an eating disorder and low-self esteem caused by oblivious 'friends' and family members. I thank God I am where I am today and with determination and HIS help I will be healthier and hopefully help others as well. Believe in yourself and Love yourself and, believe me, people will see and love your true self!!
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,183 Member
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    I think that there is an attractiveness in most people, regardless of body size. Just got a dose of reality, as a family member loaded several family snapshots (through the years) on a digital picture frame and gifted me with it. Yes, it shows me heavier in some, thinner in others, but I am smiling and self-confident on all of them!!! I like that person! I know I have to be kind to her, at all the weights, because I am/we are all far more than " a number on the scale". Have to say this is an evolution of thought, and my husband's love/acceptance of me up,and down the scale is a part of it. The other part came from raising daughters, and I always wanted them to value themselves as complete people, not just value their physical attributes!!! Here's to the continued pursuit of physical and mental health!!!!
  • ramgi
    ramgi Posts: 196 Member
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    Mk60kaf, if you don't agree with my opinion that's fine but why post "Dream on!" What type of response is that?
  • ramgi
    ramgi Posts: 196 Member
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    Jcmartin313,

    I kinda agree with your two cents. I think being fit/healthy is important but if you don't love yourself enough how can you be willing to try? We need to realize that you have to start from somewhere and being big doesn't make you a bad or worthless person. I do think it's important to be able to move and enjoy a great quality of life but not for anybody but yourself. Thanks for your response:-)

    Ramgi
  • Danielled28
    Danielled28 Posts: 1 Member
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    Very true and well put. Thank you. :)
  • shoobz
    shoobz Posts: 119
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    Personally, I get more guy attention now! I have a 36DD chest, a small-ish waist from the working out I've done, and a nice bum in jeans. I think most guys prefer a girl who's got a little something going on, than the way I was before, which was somewhat skeletal.

    That being said, I've got my future-husband. I don't need any more attention. I want to be thin again for me. I like wearing pretty dresses, and the dresses I like to wear don't come in a size 16.

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