I don't think weight has anything to do with attractiveness

2

Replies

  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member

    Having said that, I wish we all could retrain our society to view obesity not in terms of worth or attractiveness, but rather in terms of quality of life. I wish that instead of desiring to be a size X because society will look upon your more favorably, we could desire to be a BMI of X indicating health and fitness.

    Just my 2 cents.




    I completely believe it is about health and fitness. I don't have much weight to loss, I have gained back 13 since I was at my best. But that 13 lbs and lack of exercise is enough to bring back my diabetic problems.
  • Lambeze
    Lambeze Posts: 237
    Thta is so true. Its how your handle yourself that makes you beautiful.
  • cali1104
    cali1104 Posts: 5
    You're so right! I know some of the skinniest, healthiest, prettiest people and a good amount of them are mean horrible people which, takes away from all that "beauty"! Being "attractive" goes so much further than your "outward" features hence, "beauty comes from within"! I hate when people say, "oh, you have a cute face"! Really? No pun intended but, I'm so much more than that; and as a society, I think we lose out on great "friendships" in life! If you don't love yourself now, the weight loss won't matter! :)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Now that I'm in better shape, and 100lbs lighter, I pick up tons more girls without even doing anything.


    Show them a lean, tanned body and they're practically feeding me grapes and fanning me with palm fronds.
  • susi819
    susi819 Posts: 50 Member
    THANK YOU. Great Post!! I have learned to love myself as I am, skinny or fat. All this after suffering my teen years with an eating disorder and low-self esteem caused by oblivious 'friends' and family members. I thank God I am where I am today and with determination and HIS help I will be healthier and hopefully help others as well. Believe in yourself and Love yourself and, believe me, people will see and love your true self!!
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,339 Member
    I think that there is an attractiveness in most people, regardless of body size. Just got a dose of reality, as a family member loaded several family snapshots (through the years) on a digital picture frame and gifted me with it. Yes, it shows me heavier in some, thinner in others, but I am smiling and self-confident on all of them!!! I like that person! I know I have to be kind to her, at all the weights, because I am/we are all far more than " a number on the scale". Have to say this is an evolution of thought, and my husband's love/acceptance of me up,and down the scale is a part of it. The other part came from raising daughters, and I always wanted them to value themselves as complete people, not just value their physical attributes!!! Here's to the continued pursuit of physical and mental health!!!!
  • ramgi
    ramgi Posts: 196 Member
    Mk60kaf, if you don't agree with my opinion that's fine but why post "Dream on!" What type of response is that?
  • ramgi
    ramgi Posts: 196 Member
    Jcmartin313,

    I kinda agree with your two cents. I think being fit/healthy is important but if you don't love yourself enough how can you be willing to try? We need to realize that you have to start from somewhere and being big doesn't make you a bad or worthless person. I do think it's important to be able to move and enjoy a great quality of life but not for anybody but yourself. Thanks for your response:-)

    Ramgi
  • Danielled28
    Danielled28 Posts: 1 Member
    Very true and well put. Thank you. :)
  • shoobz
    shoobz Posts: 119
    Personally, I get more guy attention now! I have a 36DD chest, a small-ish waist from the working out I've done, and a nice bum in jeans. I think most guys prefer a girl who's got a little something going on, than the way I was before, which was somewhat skeletal.

    That being said, I've got my future-husband. I don't need any more attention. I want to be thin again for me. I like wearing pretty dresses, and the dresses I like to wear don't come in a size 16.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    If being found attractive is what motivates an individual then I say keep on keepin' on. If it works for you, use it.

    I can relate to this. I ain't going to lie, I started dating after 9 years with my ex during my weight loss journey. It definately helped my self confidence with the dating, etc. and pushed me to do better. I had no problem dating/meeting men when I was a bit heavier, but it's obvisous how much more attention I get now when I am out/about with my girlfriends, etc.
  • VickieZureich
    VickieZureich Posts: 37 Member
    Hi, Yes, I totally agree...I am reading a book with this subject in mind called "10 Lessons from a Former Fat Girl" a contestant on the Biggest Loser shares how she got stronger on the inside which projects on the outside....it is very, very helpful...
  • StephGodsPrincess
    StephGodsPrincess Posts: 45 Member
    Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I needed to hear this today.
  • mmmyotwnz
    mmmyotwnz Posts: 119 Member
    Hi,

    I know some of you are just starting out on your fitness journeys. I just want you to know that you are loveable just the way you are. Do this weight loss thing for you and your health. It's not about what others think of you that matters. It's what you think of yourself. So many people think if they lose weight they'll be prettier or more likable. If someone doesn't like you big than maybe their too superficial to be friends with anyway. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love yourself and realize that you deserve to be fit and healthy. It's not about the outside so much but it's about getting to your happy place. That starts from within. All the best to each and every one of you!


    ^^ THIS!!! Is what it is all about!!!
    I am loosing the weight for me! No one else can do this for me! I just need to be healthier.
    But that being said....the bigger you are, the more love you need because people stop seeing you as a person with feelings and all they see is a person they can judge. That is society.
    My BFF and I are on here doing this together, her journey is shorter than mine, but, I am so proud of her for working her rear off. The one thing I have told her is that she is beautiful inside and out, even if she was heavy or super skinny, I loved her irregardless.

    We all are perfect created works. We just are made in different colors, shapes, personalities and are separated by land, oceans, and languages. But we all are worth love and respect, no matter what our size.

    That is the thing I will keep with me when I loose all of this weight and 'outside' folks think I am worth attention again...
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    How sweet and lovely and idealistic and full of poop! It SHOULDN'T have anything to do with it, but due to society and health and first impressions, it does. At 342 lbs, I was a miserable cow. I was fat and self concious and hated to be in public because I thought that everyone was judging me. With the weight loss, I have gained a LOT of self confidence and am more outgoing and take more pride in how I present myself in public. People don't judge you by your personality until after they have seen you and formed some sort of opinion. Most of the time, their opinions will wrap around the inital one that they have formed. It is sad, but it is true. It takes a person roughly 3 seconds to decide if they will like you, on average. In 3 seconds you cannot possibly know my personality. Sorry. That is how it is. At least, it is how I see it.
  • ramgi
    ramgi Posts: 196 Member
    "How sweet and lovely and idealistic and full of poop! It SHOULDN'T have anything to do with it, but due to society and health and first impressions, it does. At 342 lbs, I was a miserable cow. I was fat and self concious and hated to be in public because I thought that everyone was judging me. With the weight loss, I have gained a LOT of self confidence and am more outgoing and take more pride in how I present myself in public. People don't judge you by your personality until after they have seen you and formed some sort of opinion. Most of the time, their opinions will wrap around the inital one that they have formed. It is sad, but it is true. It takes a person roughly 3 seconds to decide if they will like you, on average. In 3 seconds you cannot possibly know my personality. Sorry. That is how it is. At least, it is how I see it."


    Point taken. I don't know everyone's personal journey and I applaud you on your weight loss. Too bad it took so long for you to be self confident. You were the gorgeous girl at the beginning and you are now. You just couldn't see it. I ain't mad at you.
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    Jcmartin313,

    I kinda agree with your two cents. I think being fit/healthy is important but if you don't love yourself enough how can you be willing to try? We need to realize that you have to start from somewhere and being big doesn't make you a bad or worthless person. I do think it's important to be able to move and enjoy a great quality of life but not for anybody but yourself. Thanks for your response:-)

    Ramgi

    I think you are correct; however, I also believe that we (me included) wait far too long to get into the right state of mind before we just begin working to lose weight. My mantra has become Just Begin and Keep Beginning Every Day. At some point you will have that AHA moment and begin to believe.
  • letgo79
    letgo79 Posts: 25
    SWEET!!!
  • dyannajoy
    dyannajoy Posts: 466 Member
    Hi,

    I know some of you are just starting out on your fitness journeys. I just want you to know that you are loveable just the way you are. Do this weight loss thing for you and your health. It's not about what others think of you that matters. It's what you think of yourself. So many people think if they lose weight they'll be prettier or more likable. If someone doesn't like you big than maybe their too superficial to be friends with anyway. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love yourself and realize that you deserve to be fit and healthy. It's not about the outside so much but it's about getting to your happy place. That starts from within. All the best to each and every one of you!

    Ramgi (The female Rambo)

    yes and thank you!:heart:
  • Hope502012
    Hope502012 Posts: 98 Member
    Thank you. I also think this is only doable when you do it for yourself. I've never joined anything like this before and I find the warmth and encouragement on MFP is invaluable. :flowerforyou:
  • dyannajoy
    dyannajoy Posts: 466 Member
    Jcmartin313,

    I kinda agree with your two cents. I think being fit/healthy is important but if you don't love yourself enough how can you be willing to try? We need to realize that you have to start from somewhere and being big doesn't make you a bad or worthless person. I do think it's important to be able to move and enjoy a great quality of life but not for anybody but yourself. Thanks for your response:-)

    Ramgi




    I think you are correct; however, I also believe that we (me included) wait far too long to get into the right state of mind before we just begin working to lose weight. My mantra has become Just Begin and Keep Beginning Every Day. At some point you will have that AHA moment and begin to believe.

    LOVE your mantra!! I believe!!!
  • amandaa02
    amandaa02 Posts: 57 Member
    Thanks.. I needed to read this today.. I have just been working on my weight loss for about 2 weeks now.. And I have lost 11 lbs.. all on my own.. no one has helped me.. no one has told me what to eat.. Over the weekend I was thinking about who I was doing this for.. and Im doing it for me.. I want to be healthy.. But I also want to look nice..
  • xxempress
    xxempress Posts: 122
    Much love for your words of encouragement! Beauty is so much more than flesh. So righteous; I need to be reminded of things like this when I have “ugly” days.
  • NamibianRose
    NamibianRose Posts: 151 Member
    Dream on

    Probably makes me a bad person, but this made me literally laugh out loud.
  • Brenda_Pancakes
    Brenda_Pancakes Posts: 288 Member
    As I lose weight - my likeability doesn't change. But I think my attractiveness does. My husband met me at 50 lbs lighter than I am now, and married my chunky butt - because I'm awesome. Likeability the same. But as I get rid of this extra weight - I feel better... my face is sliming down... I'm less "bulgy" (best word I think fit there). I feel better, I feel I look better, so I probably am a little "prettier".

    I'm one of those chicks that was told (by people that did NOT mean it in a negative way). "I've got such a pretty face". But if I'm out of shape - and kind of blubbery - then the body isn't matching the face - and I'm not at my 'optimum pretty potential'.

    I love the post - and think it's very inspirational. For myself - I am more attractive when I am a healthy weight.
  • Erica27511
    Erica27511 Posts: 490 Member
    If being found attractive is what motivates an individual then I say keep on keepin' on. If it works for you, use it.

    I agree with this 100%. I am a very confident person no matter what size I am. However, knowing that I will be f'ing hot as I lose weight is what is keeping me going. Real talk.
  • naturalbrowndiva
    naturalbrowndiva Posts: 25 Member
    So true So true! Some people get caught up with losing weight for others and not themselves. They lose weight to keep people in their lives. No understanding that they are suppose to love you no matter what.
  • mikek333
    mikek333 Posts: 78 Member
    Hi,

    I know some of you are just starting out on your fitness journeys. I just want you to know that you are loveable just the way you are. Do this weight loss thing for you and your health. It's not about what others think of you that matters. It's what you think of yourself. So many people think if they lose weight they'll be prettier or more likable. If someone doesn't like you big than maybe their too superficial to be friends with anyway. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love yourself and realize that you deserve to be fit and healthy. It's not about the outside so much but it's about getting to your happy place. That starts from within. All the best to each and every one of you!

    Ramgi (The female Rambo)

    Inner beauty doesn't make initial attraction......just saying. I agree with what you said.....but weight definitely has something to do with attractiveness.

    Yep.
  • KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON
    KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON Posts: 258 Member
    I so agree with your post!

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