busy mom, frustrated at best.

KLovesTy
KLovesTy Posts: 37
in Introduce Yourself
Hi all,


I'm a stay at home mom/wife/student and I'm currently practicing "extended" breastfeeding (past a year) everyone told me the weight would 'fall' off since I was breastfeeding, and it couldn't be the furthest from the truth. I have lost about 30-40 lbs since hes been born, and thats all, though I gained 60. I have stayed at the same weight for probably 10 months. (just fluctuates by 1-2 lbs) I have no clue what I should be eating because it doesn't matter if I go by my BMR or the 1200-1500 cals, I don't lose anything. Its the most frustrating thing in the world. Right now my husband is gone and I have no one to watch my kids, my youngest doesn't leave me alone for more than 10m at a time (even sleeps with me, its kind of miserable at times) so I need exercises that can incorporate my kids somehow. I want to invest in a bike with a trailer but I don't know if it'd even make a difference. I'm frustrated, confused, and just at a loss. with my first the weight just came off and now I'm so stuck. my husband comes home in 3 months and I would give anything to look better for him at his homecoming. I think I'm looking for advice, support, or whatever. Just a vent to others who can understand :) thanks all.

Replies

  • WilliamsPeggy
    WilliamsPeggy Posts: 440 Member
    I feel your pain. I'm also a stay at home mom & a student. I'm happy to be your friend. Add me if you'd like.
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
    I breastfed my son for a year and 4 months... it did no help me lose weight. When I tried to diet, I lost my milk supply. I was depressed, and I believe cortisol was a major problem for me. I tried all sorts of things and was unable to lose weight. Until I got my stress and depression and chronic pain under control, it was really no use to even try. After finding a way to really treat the stress/depression/chronic pain, I am now, finally able to lose weight. I have regained my metabolism (I know because now I go poo 2-3x a day- and before it was once or less per day)
    Prescription meds did nothing but keep me alive... but not really living.
    I wish you the best.
    :flowerforyou:
  • mommymac64
    mommymac64 Posts: 7
    I understand what you're going through. I raised 5 children and breastfed all of them. Great job on breastfeeding past 12 months. Although it may not help you lose all the weight you need it still has helped you and your child. Don't beat yourself up. Set small goals and reset them as you go. Maybe it would easier to fit several small exercise breaks into your busy day instead of one long exercise period. Walking around the neighborhood or park, swimming, playing kickball or tag with the kids. Just get moving. You can do it! Is your husband in the military? My husband retired from the navy after 20 years.
  • KLovesTy
    KLovesTy Posts: 37
    I breastfed my son for a year and 4 months... it did no help me lose weight. When I tried to diet, I lost my milk supply. I was depressed, and I believe cortisol was a major problem for me. I tried all sorts of things and was unable to lose weight. Until I got my stress and depression and chronic pain under control, it was really no use to even try. After finding a way to really treat the stress/depression/chronic pain, I am now, finally able to lose weight. I have regained my metabolism (I know because now I go poo 2-3x a day- and before it was once or less per day)
    Prescription meds did nothing but keep me alive... but not really living.
    I wish you the best.
    :flowerforyou:

    this sounds a lot like me most days. sometimes I don't know how I'm doing what I do everyday, but I do. I hate pills, I've been on more than I can count and am currently pill-free. do you think the bengal tea you mentioned on your profile is bf'ing friendly?
  • KLovesTy
    KLovesTy Posts: 37
    I understand what you're going through. I raised 5 children and breastfed all of them. Great job on breastfeeding past 12 months. Although it may not help you lose all the weight you need it still has helped you and your child. Don't beat yourself up. Set small goals and reset them as you go. Maybe it would easier to fit several small exercise breaks into your busy day instead of one long exercise period. Walking around the neighborhood or park, swimming, playing kickball or tag with the kids. Just get moving. You can do it! Is your husband in the military? My husband retired from the navy after 20 years.

    Yes he is, and I am going to try to just get up and be more active, I am getting the fitbit just to see exactly how much I am doing. I think I will get a bike soon just to add more exercise, and I know I could certainly walk more
  • Less0Beth
    Less0Beth Posts: 16
    While those years are loooong past for me, I do feel your pain. I am a a stay at home mom of special needs "forever kids" who also take up much of my time. My husband works long hours, and by the time he gets home, he is in no shape to take care of kids. He helps me, yes, but that is different.

    Don't purchase anything right now. Your kiddos can be your best workouts, really. Take the little one and put him/her on your feet while you are lying on your back. Now, pump those feet and send him flying....meaning that you pump your legs doing a dead mans lift from the ground upwards and also doing pumps from having your legs raised in the air and then bend the knees and play peek a boo.

    There are so many many exercises where you can involve your kiddos. And just explain to them that you need "me" time. Tell your oldest that if he will play quietly in his room for one hour (while you put the baby down to nap maybe), he can have one hour of something he or she really wants.....a favorite movie maybe or even an hour of playing a game with you.

    And having the kiddos sleep with you is bad news, at least in my book. Allow the to come into your bed for cuddle time, read them a story or two, then tell them they need to sleep in their own beds. Again, if they do this, reward them. If they don't, gently but firmly remind the oldest that tomorrow it will only be one book, not two. If he insists, tell him that you understand that he misses his dad, but that you need some time to miss Dad, alone as well. Wish I could offer you more. Sounds like you need to invest in something like Mommy & Me play dates, Gymboree or something that allows yours little guys to work off some steam.
  • Less0Beth
    Less0Beth Posts: 16
    Do you have a stroller? If so, load up the kiddos and go for an hour "walk" every day. Let the kiddos choose where they want to go. This works wonders is making them feel special and allowing them to feel like they are "helping Mom" when it comes to exercise.
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
    Yes, the Bengal Spice Tea is caffeine free... so it might help.
  • mindyt23
    mindyt23 Posts: 28 Member
    Hi! I felt this way about a year ago and a friend told me about Tosca Reno's book called CLEAN EATING, it's amazing because it teaches you WHAT to eat together in order to start burning weight off, and thats BEFORE exercise!! You can find it on amazon, pretty cheap, I love it and tell everyone about. I've managed to keep weight off for over a year now, and just recleaning up a rough quarter at school when I "stress ate" (by the way felt awful too). SECOND, since your still nursing your body will KEEP some extra fat to help produce milk. Good Luck to you, can add me if you'd like!
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
    Also the kombucha tea, although it does have caffeine. I drank it while breastfeeding, but did not use cannabis in any form at that time. The Kombucha seriously helps with sleep deprivation and immunity. I slept with y son until he was about 4, but we had a lot of chaos for awhile, and he had night terrors.
  • pixardad
    pixardad Posts: 184 Member
    Hi @KLovesTy, obviously I'm not a Mom, but my youngest is 3 so I do remember those times with my wife. First, let me say what I'm confident your husband is thinking:

    You are beautiful!!!

    Being away from a wife and children is one of the most difficult things any man can do and all we want is to get back to those we love. I hope you both have a happy and safe reunion!

    That being said, back to the weight loss. I agree with @Less0Beth, don't buy anything yet. First, let's see if you can lose weight, period. I do remember when my wife attempted to lose weight, it lessened how much she was able to breastfeed (though she had to pump as the baby would not latch on). Are you OK with potentially lessening your supply? I don't believe in one way or another, that's obviously your choice. I just raise the question for you to ponder.

    If you do want to lose weight, walking is probably one of the best ways with kids. If it doesn't seem like a challenge, try and walk further if possible (i.e. obviously hot weather wouldn't be good for young kids to stay out too long), or maybe carry a backpack with some canned food in it for weight. One thing I enjoyed was situps with my little girl on my torso and I must admit, she enjoyed it too! That little laugh kept me going.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like and vent to your hearts content. Sometimes guys are good to "let it out on" too. :)

    Good luck whatever path you take!

    --PD

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