How do i tell my fiance...

I agree with the other post. Tell him nicely, but don't expect his eyes to open and for him to put his beer down. People will not change their habits until they are ready. Griping at him and getting emotional are not going to help. When is the last time he has stepped on the scale? My bf gained some weight a few months ago and he didn't care/realize it until he stepped on my scale once day and almost fell off. Has he been to a MD? Some people need to hear it from a medical professional. Sounds like he needs a check up anyway.

Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

That's just evil. :-D

Maybe compliment him? E.g. I love your strong arms/biceps/shoudlers etc. and maybe then he'll be like "likes my arms, aye?" and start trying to make them even better! I've seen it happen before.

Or something like, I just love being with someone when I workout, but you're my favourite person to spend time with. Keep me company this once?

Tell him you'll always love him no matter what, but you want to love him for as long as possible, so you'd love it if he'd like to get in shape with you! Try to make it something you can do together, instead of putting all this pressure on him

Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

That's just evil. :-D

Holy crap thats evil...you wanna go out for a drink maybe?

Yeah, way to go everybody.

Make the poor guy feel unattractive AND sexually inadequate.


Look, he's a chef, he's around great food all day, and if he's a good chef, he's tasting it all day too.

Men might not respond well to constant reminders, because WE see that as nagging, but we are competitive, and do respond to positive role models.

Gordon Ramsay runs EVERY DAY, because he has to, because he's a chef. Your BF needs to see a man doing what he does, but better, and keeping in shape too.

But to get the ball rolling, why don't you use your feminine charm and good looks and sees if you can't tempt him out on a hike once a week. Find something YOU can bear to do, that'll get him to see how much fun being healthy is. It'll be harder work for you, and you might feel it's just not worth it, but being fit can be good for 2, don't you think?

Sit down with him for movie night with "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" or "Forks Over Knives". Start a conversation with him about the movie in a friendly way. "Forks Over Knives" is free on Hulu right now too. http://www.hulu.com/watch/279734

Any idea that does not involve being 100% straight with him is a terrible idea.

Tell him straight up that you're concerned about his weight and that you'd like him to lose some because you want him to be healthy and because you think it's important that couples try their hardest to remain attractive to one another.

I remember my son a couple of years back telling me to join slimming world, here's how he said it: mum i think you should join slimming world again, i think you look ok but i am worried about your health and you have put on loads of weight recently. Ok now to some people this may seem harsh but to me it was the wake up call i needed to take a long hard look at myself and see what he saw when he looked at me. Moral of the story, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. xx

Have you tried sitting down with him and looking through some old photographs of when he was healthier? Lightly point out how much healthier he looks in them and see where the conversation goes.

When I decided I wanted to lose weight my fiance was supportive, but he didn't know how to show it. I had done really good all day and had hundreds off extra calories at the end of the day. I mentioned having ice cream, and he patted my stomach (my most hated part on my body besides my thighs) and said, "I thought you wanted to get hot for me?" His misunderstanding of what dieting is (he thought ice cream was completely forbidden and my desire for it meant I had given up) made me feel absolutely horrible about myself and my weight loss. Saying or doing anything negative towards him will really put a strain on your relationship, because nobody wants their self esteem and dignity ruined.

That being said, I am all for nicely "tricking" him into doing it. Maybe combine his love of food/cooking and his love for you. Say something like, "wow, I really LOVE lasagna (or whatever food) but I can't find a good healthy recipe. Do you think you could figure out a way to do it?" Or maybe, "I need X amount of vitamin A, but only have 400 calories left today, any ideas for a meal?" In my experience guys are problem solvers, you just need to present them with the right problem to get the answer you want.

I agree with isabel, but everybody is different what my son said to me gave me the kick up the backside i needed and maybe her fiance would rather be told in a direct way then to be told in a sympathetic almost pitying way x

LMAO !!!! That takes a lot of commitment Mzbug !

Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

These are good ways of ensuring you lose him. If any partner of mine tried anything as cruel and under-handed as this we'd both be single in a shot. Put the boot on the other foot - how would YOU feel if a guy said anything as evil as this to you?

AMEN!!!

Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

LOL that's evil but awesome at the same time!

Maybe focus on eating healthily rather than losing weight, which he might get offended by. Try encouraging him to eat healthily because of the other health problems you mentioned.