I just realized why I cant lose weight!
sammyjowedeking
Posts: 116
I cannot lose weight because I am stopping myself from it. For some reason I have a mind set that this cannot happen for me. That there is no way I am going to lose the 200 pounds I need to! How in the world am I going to lose a whole overweight person?!?!?
Has anyone else thought like this?
I eat healthy but for some reason I do not workout like I should and end up giving up all together. Emotional or mental problem?
Can anyone help me?
Has anyone else thought like this?
I eat healthy but for some reason I do not workout like I should and end up giving up all together. Emotional or mental problem?
Can anyone help me?
0
Replies
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I have learned that loosing weight is all a mind game...
if you think you can... you're right... if you think you can't... you're right....
it is all about babysteps man... you didn't get heavy overnight and you won't get thin overnight... no matter how much you have to loose... it will only come off one pound at a time...
I've lost 75# so far... by making baby steps... when I first started exercising my goals were 1500 steps a day... and 3200 cals...
my goals now are 120 MILES a month (about 4 miles per day or 20ksteps... I no longer count steps) and about 1500 cals per day... baby steps... small changes... one change at a time
good luck0 -
Aww hun.
I know how this feels. It is ABSOLUTELY only in your head. You CAN do it. But it is overwhelming to only think of the end goal and how far you have to go. Break your weight loss goals down into MUCH smaller chunks. Start with just 5 pounds, or get down to xx weight that is not too much lower than what you start with, or walk for 10 minutes or take a swim aerobics class. Once you begin reaching smaller goals, your confidence will start to soar, and the next goal could be a little bit larger, and so on. Please don't give up, you are worth it! 
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It def is a mind over matter thing. I don't have as much to lose but even 80lbs seemed unachieveable at the start. I broke it down into mini goals, and then just thought about getting to the next goal and not the goal weight. I also set myself non weight related goals like fitting into an old pair of smaller trousers, doing c25k, etc.
Now I am over halfway to my goal and I am starting to believe for the first time ever and after a million other failed dieting attempts, I will finally reach my goal weight.
Hang in there. Feel free to add me for support.0 -
Thank you ladies! I know i am worth it so that is why I am going to keep losing weight and I will use smaller goals! I def think that will help
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I think you are overwelming yourself by thinking in those terms. You allowed yourself to have a visual that is to daunting (a 200lb person)
You have to think in terms of the necessity of change for health reasons. Allow yourself to celebrate every little positive step you make and get rid of the all or nothing mind set.
You deserve to live healthier, happier and longer! Good Luck:flowerforyou:0 -
small goals are the way to go, give yourself some targets to aim for, it doesnt matter what weight you are but as an example
12st 9lb
get to the next half stone (12.07) lose 2lb
lose 1/2 stone (12.02) lose 5lb
get under the next stone band (11.13) lose 3lb
get to next 1/2 stone off (11.9) lose 4lb which is also a stone off
and carry on. at each of the little goals treat yourself maybe a new nail polish, a manicure, a nice soak in the bath, a new glossy magazine. doesnt have to be expensive but as the weight comes off it might need to be a pair of new jeans.
Good luck and a bit like running up hill look down to where your next step is and dont worry about the top :happy:0 -
I changed my profile and added my mini goals. It put in perspective how real this can be fore me!
I wanted to be down to mg GW of 180 by my 21st birthday. If I do 10 pounds a month I will be 180 2 months before my 21st birthday! Talk about motivation to keep going!
Is 10 pounds a month to much?0 -
I just read your profile and my heart breaks for you. As a mom with children your age, it worries me that you are suffering so deeply. Do you have supportive parents? Any strong support at all?
I would love to help any way I can so please feel free to add me to your cheer leading squad:happy:0 -
Love the feedback you have gotten. I do not have as much to lose but like you i initially looked at it as one big overall goal. The smaller goals have definately helped me.. and I was genuinely shocked to see the weight start coming off because I have never really lost weight before. Personally, for my weight, 10lbs would be too much in a month - but for you it may be different and could be totally achievable, you never know until you try... i shoot for about a pound a week and sometimes I dont get that even.. but I still see changes -- definately do measurements! sometimes the scale doesnt go down but your body will change in big ways.
I set one of my goals to be under a certain weight by my birthday (yesterday) and I came within a half pound... which I thought was awesome, but my biggest change wasnt the 5 pounds I lost (which did take me about a month of really hard work)... it was my measurements!
If you are worried about being discouraged, maybe shoot for a smaller goal even than 10 lbs... then when you meet and exceed it, its an even better feeling... then the next month you can up the pounds a little bit (maybe add on another 2 or 3 to your initial small goal) and see if you can hit that ...0 -
I'm very sorry 'that' happened to you.. just know it isn't your fault It's a hard process and it can take a long time to realize.. but I've overcome it and so can you!!! 0
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I have learned that loosing weight is all a mind game...
if you think you can... you're right... if you think you can't... you're right....
it is all about babysteps man... you didn't get heavy overnight and you won't get thin overnight... no matter how much you have to loose... it will only come off one pound at a time...
I've lost 75# so far... by making baby steps... when I first started exercising my goals were 1500 steps a day... and 3200 cals...
my goals now are 120 MILES a month (about 4 miles per day or 20ksteps... I no longer count steps) and about 1500 cals per day... baby steps... small changes... one change at a time
good luck
This has been my experience too. I've lost weight before, but to do it I made radical changes all at once and it was not sustainable. I'd always gain it back and then some. Now I focus on making ONE sustainable change at a time. For example, my first change was "eating a good breakfast". I didn't worry about anything else until I felt like I had that down pat. Some other examples: logging EVERYTHING on MFP, reducing overall caloric intake, spreading my calories out some, and walking in the evenings. Each of these was introduced slowly once I felt like I had the previous change down pat.
If I had tried to do all of this at once, I'd probably already be on the way to failure, telling myself "it's too much!". At this point in my life, I have come to realize that I have to take my time and do it right, not go for the quick fix. So what if I don't eat "clean" right now, or if my macros aren't perfect, or if I'm not doing any strength training to speak of. These changes (and many more), will come with time.0 -
I've lost a lot of weight before and put it all back on plus some!! I have learned that setting one big goal of "I want to get to this weight" and that's it doesn't cut it for me. Set small, obtainable goals where you lose weight in chunks of 5 or 10 pounds. That's what has worked for me. Then, as you meet each goal, you really get more of a sense of accomplishment. The weight will come off slow, but it will all be worth it in the end. I have lost 36 so far, have a lot more to go, and it's still a daily struggle. Make sure you lift weights, do cardio and take measurements!! You might find that you lose inches before weight. That way if that scale number doesnt change, then maybe the tape measure will. Sometimes that's enough to overhaul the frustration I feel sometimes with a standstill with my weight. It's definitely a hard journey, one that will be one of the hardest you will have to do in a lifetime, but you can get the support you need to keep going! Feel free to add me if you would like some additional support Good luck to you! I know you can do it! :flowerforyou: 0
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YAY for you for setting goals! In my own journey, I realize the reason I couldn't lose weight was because I didn't have a clear goal and I didn't have a plan to get their either. I think that will help you so much in the long run.
As so many people have already stated, don't get discouraged when you're not losing fast enough. It took a while for the weight to come on, it'll take a while to come off. Take baby steps. My first goals were to lose 10% of my body weight and to walk 10 minutes at least 3X per week. I'm 2.5 months into this and I'm just 1.2 pounds away from 10% (20 pounds) BUT my walking is up to 50 minutes and about 3 miles!!! it still shocks me!
Logging calories (healthy calories) is so important too. Be faithful about that. Every little thing does matter. You just have to remind yourself, constantly, why you want this! Keep your goal constantly in front of you. Hang a picture of yourself from the past that you can be reminded of where you want to be, ultimately.
While I have a few buddies on here now, in the beginning I only told a couple people that I was doing this...my husband and daughter and 1 friend from work who got me to join MFP with her. It took about a month when people began noticing I didn't hit on the goodies in the break room, that I was bringing salads for lunch, that I was carrying a water bottle.
I have one other good reason why I am on this journey, and that is my Christian faith. But I'll share those details only if you really want to know. I know many people are sensitive to religion...and I'm ok with that.
Blessings on your journey!0 -
I can tell you are strong and you can do this. I do have a few suggestions that might help
Take time limits off your goals. Who cares how long it takes you to get there as long as you get there? If you don't get there by that date, don't let it discourage you. The weight will come off easy to start, but it will get harder.
Don't make any weight goals right now. Start with making your goals to change the bad habit you formed, in effect, the weight will come off.
Measure everything, weight, arms, legs, belly, hips, even ankles if seeing the change will motivate you. And take pictures! Front back and sides. Every 10lbs will make an awesome story of your journey in pictures.
Give yourself a reward when you do reach milestones. Say after the first 10lbs get yourself something nice. What I don't suggest is rewarding yourself with food. It took me a long time to get over that one and I still struggle with it.
And mostly, if you do have a bad workout or eat something unhealthy remember that you don't need a new day to "start over" you just start again with the next thing you eat or the next free time you have to exercise.
Oh and with exercise just shoot to do better than you did last time. Start out with a 5 minute walk, the next day make it 6, before you know it you will be walking for a half hour and then jogging. Trust me it can be done! In high school I couldn't do a mile in 20 minutes, now I can do a mile in 12 minutes or less.
Good luck!0 -
I think mini goals are key, and I set mine to dates that were my kids birthdays, holidays etc so they were personal. It took me a while to get on a roll, so be ready to change your goals along the way! Allow for goals that reflect real life (at the holidays it can be harder to lose as much that month). I also realized along the way (>10 months now) that this is food and activity, scale and measurements, clothing size and clothing styles that fit. You can do it!0
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I changed my profile and added my mini goals. It put in perspective how real this can be fore me!
I wanted to be down to mg GW of 180 by my 21st birthday. If I do 10 pounds a month I will be 180 2 months before my 21st birthday! Talk about motivation to keep going!
Is 10 pounds a month to much?
No 10lbs a month is not too much for you, I've been reading some of your feedback and all true. You can do it, I like that you are doing mini goals. When the doctor told me to lose 90lbs, I got overwhelmed with the number. So on April 6,2012 when I joined, I had already made a promise to myself to sacrafice and cut out all the soda and junk that I did on a daily basis and really give myself a fair chance at this thing. I set a small goal of 20lbs by June 17th because mfp said I could do 12lbs by then. What's a few more lbs I said. Worse thing that can happen to me is I only lose 12lbs. So I just started working out 30 min a day and did not go over that 1200 cal. I did it! I hit 20lbs on June 11th, 2012 that is 10lbs a month if i'm not crazy. The more you lose, the more your body is able to do. Now Instead of 90lbs it's gone down to 70lbs. seeeeee... That time went by so quick. Now I've set a goal from here on out of 10lbs per month. I already looked at your profile, nothing against your support team, but you are going to need some hard core zombies that are willing to cheer you on and work with you every day! I will be that Zombie if you want. I promise, with hard work, Nooooooooo excuses, and eating right, you are going to do it and I'm not going to give you a time frame, you'll see how fast the weight comes off. Add me and good luck!0 -
As others have said, try splitting it up and thinking in terms of small goals rather than your end result aim. You'll get there! 0
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I know what you mean, when I typed in my target weight loss of 122 lb into MFP upon starting this journey just under a year ago, I thought to myself that there is no way I am going to lose that amount, but now I am in sight of the end. If I can do it, anyone can.
There has been some great advise on this post, so though I would add my two penneth worth:
* Sign up for a sponsored walk or run, and if you can, drag a friend along too. This gives you a fitness target to aim for and means you have to put the training in
* Start off walking or doing something similar and work your way up to exercising more often and strenuously
* Gym membership is worth the investment, and if you can afford it, get a personal trainer
* Start strength training early into your journey
* Find some favourite old clothes in smaller sizes and slim into them, this sets small easily achievable targets
* Make sure you eat enough, sensitive subject on these boards
* Eat back most of your exercise calories, another sensitive subject
* Have little treats often, I keep a sweetie tin filled with boiled sweets (hard candy) as 1 sweet will break your diet
* If you have a bad day, its not the end of your diet, just do better tomorrow
* The scales should not be your only measurement of success, inches lost and dress sizes dropped are way more exciting
* Try not to weigh youself too often, have a set weigh in day and time
* Find supportive friends on MFP
* Mix it up (diet and exercise) occassionally, this really helps if your weight loss stalls
* Remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint
Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
I can tell you are strong and you can do this. I do have a few suggestions that might help
Take time limits off your goals. Who cares how long it takes you to get there as long as you get there? If you don't get there by that date, don't let it discourage you. The weight will come off easy to start, but it will get harder.
Don't make any weight goals right now. Start with making your goals to change the bad habit you formed, in effect, the weight will come off.
Measure everything, weight, arms, legs, belly, hips, even ankles if seeing the change will motivate you. And take pictures! Front back and sides. Every 10lbs will make an awesome story of your journey in pictures.
Give yourself a reward when you do reach milestones. Say after the first 10lbs get yourself something nice. What I don't suggest is rewarding yourself with food. It took me a long time to get over that one and I still struggle with it.
And mostly, if you do have a bad workout or eat something unhealthy remember that you don't need a new day to "start over" you just start again with the next thing you eat or the next free time you have to exercise.
Oh and with exercise just shoot to do better than you did last time. Start out with a 5 minute walk, the next day make it 6, before you know it you will be walking for a half hour and then jogging. Trust me it can be done! In high school I couldn't do a mile in 20 minutes, now I can do a mile in 12 minutes or less.
Good luck!
^^ EXCELLENT SUGGESTIONS!! ^^0 -
that is an overwhelming number...........why don't you set smaller goals for your self-like 20lbs at a time. You have already lost 8, so you're halfway there!
As far as excersise is concerned, just find something that you like to do. For example, I HATE excersise, but I joined my local ym with a pool & do aqua aerobics. For me, that isn't excersise, it's playing in the pool!
Just keep it up. It took you a lifetime to put the weight on.............it is not going to come off overnight. Just be healthy..........the rest will follow :-)0 -
It's easy to lose weight, it's hard to keep it off. I had to decide to change my life, not just put in a temporary fix. You need to realize that your habits are what got you here and if you don't change them, they will get you right back there. Good thing about habits is it only takes a few weeks/months to get in new ones so I just try to replace bad habits with good ones.
You can do this, I'm positive... just NEVER quit trying and it will eventually stick!!!0 -
http://www.amazon.com/Losing-It-Lost-Entire-Person/dp/1466394986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340971154&sr=8-1&keywords=weight+loss,+denise+stevens
Hi, I am Tanya, and I am losing weight too, though a smaller goal. But my good friend lost a whole person and wrote a book at the link above. She wore a size 24 when she stood up in my wedding, and now she is thinner than me! I don't expect you to BUY her book, I just wanted to say that you can do it, with diet and exercise. She did, and wow, what a motivation to know a real average person can do it.
I also fall back on God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have been doing a couple of devotionals on youversion.com (FREE) here is one on daily promises for your life, and another called battlefield of the mind (also FREE).
Good luck and God bless you!
Tanya0 -
I sabotage myself all the time. and then when I fess up about it, my family just says, well there you blew this diet. This time, I am going to do it, each day is a new day to start over again. You can do this.0
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It sounds like you have already been through hell and back. And you are here... you are a survivor. You are a WINNER.
I can't offer any better suggestions than the ones already given. But just remember to have faith in yourself and you can do anything!
Good luck!0 -
I am SO with you on this, every time I've lost weight in the past its been a huge goal, with lots of crazy changes all at once. I make a little progress but then start looking at my end goal and think "I can't make it that far" then I feel bad about myself and get some ice cream to make myself "feel better" then I have pizza cause I already had ice cream. then I skip the gym because there's no way I can burn off the pizza & ice cream. and I've fallen off the wagon again.
Whats REALLY helped me is, as others have said, mini-goals. I have set a bunch of SV & NSV mini-goals so that for those weeks that the scale doesn't move I still feel like I'm making progress. I'm working of c25k (and hey you're a runner too! as soon as you feel up to it you should start it too!!) so there's running, jean sizes & weight loss goals all mixed in together.
You ARE a survivor and you WILL survive this!!! with all you've made it through already there is NOTHING you cannot do that you put your mind to. all it takes is today.0 -
If you're on Facebook, take a look at this page. Very motivational from a woman who lost 124 pounds!!!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/notadiet
:flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you, everyone! I am overwhelmed ( in a good way) with the sweet comments and personal messages and great advice!
In high school I was very athletic and loved life and loved myself. I was raped by my boyfriends father when I was 16. I thought maybe if i destroyed the way i looked, he would stop. It didnt, but I finally got the courage to tell someone. He is now in jail and serving a 13 year sentence. But my bad habits already had formed. The emotional eating was overwhelmingly bad and I quit volleyball because it got out that I was raped and it seemed like everybody had something to say about it ( and not in a good way). But I am tired of letting that define me. That was my past and I am not dead. Why should I continue to let him hurt me?
This is my life and I am taking it back!0 -
"the reason so many people give up is because they look at how far they have left to go, instead of how far they've come."
^ this has been me, SO many times. Instead of being proud of the almost 50 i've lost, i kept looking at the 100 left go, and how long it will take me to lose it.
I made a decision to change last august, with a mindset of "ill be damned if im gonna quit again". But from Jan- april... i lost my mindset. all of a sudden i stopped losing.. and ended up maintaining. April first I started a new workout, with a new mindset, and a whole new motivation. 2 months later, i am stronger in mind and body. even though the pounds haven't come off fast, i feel great because i know that the foods i am putting into my body are good.
sometimes, you need a break from 'trying'... but when i really comes down to it. none of this is a 'diet'... or a way to get to your goal weight. it is a lfestyle, for better or worse. you need to take baby steps in your eating and your working out. habits are not made nor broken overnight. it take 7 weeks for an activity to become habit... and a mere 48 hours for it to die. since august, i have not gone more than 2 days without going to the gym or doing some kind of physically demanding activity.
you dont have to run a marathon or even a mile by week 2. you just need to be better than day one. never ever give up. you will look back in a year and say... im SO glad i started when i did.
good luck... and feel free to friend me if you need a motivator.0 -
Thank you, everyone! I am overwhelmed ( in a good way) with the sweet comments and personal messages and great advice!
In high school I was very athletic and loved life and loved myself. I was raped by my boyfriends father when I was 16. I thought maybe if i destroyed the way i looked, he would stop. It didnt, but I finally got the courage to tell someone. He is now in jail and serving a 13 year sentence. But my bad habits already had formed. The emotional eating was overwhelmingly bad and I quit volleyball because it got out that I was raped and it seemed like everybody had something to say about it ( and not in a good way). But I am tired of letting that define me. That was my past and I am not dead. Why should I continue to let him hurt me?
This is my life and I am taking it back!
i just read this. im soo sorry about what you've had to go through. that is an awful way to lose trust in people. but you are right... it IS your life and YOU need to take it back.
you deserve to be the person you once were. so use THAT as your motivation to push as hard as you can to be her again!0 -
I think you are overwelming yourself by thinking in those terms. You allowed yourself to have a visual that is to daunting (a 200lb person)
You have to think in terms of the necessity of change for health reasons. Allow yourself to celebrate every little positive step you make and get rid of the all or nothing mind set.
You deserve to live healthier, happier and longer! Good Luck:flowerforyou:
I couldnt agree more. Dont let the numbers overwhelm you or the post from people who lose a RIDICULOUS amount of weight.
It most likely took them months to do this and not over night. Stick with it and remember YOU DESERVE A BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY LIFE!0
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