Is my mindset wrong? I want my life back.

2»

Replies

  • Lkoblara
    Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
    There isn't any free help or anything they could offer for free. Welcome to the world..where Doctors only concern is money and not helping those who are in need :( I just want my life back. I want to keep looking like I do now, and not have to worry every second of every day....its wearing me out..


    Are you in the US? Every state has mental health programs that do not require payment or insurance. You just need to do the research and find out what the groups are you need to contact in your area.

    Your diet is supposed to fuel you, not drain you. Sad fact is that some people just have to work harder to look a certain way, but I think you're taking it to an unhealthy obsessive level.
  • notdorothy
    notdorothy Posts: 7 Member
    I noticed that you're in college. Go to the counseling center or health folks there. There's help for your issues and they should have someone available to you or be able to help you find a program.
  • jaded_beauty
    jaded_beauty Posts: 6
    There are low income mental health centers almost everywhere. That's how I got my first help. Try it.
  • Twomirrors
    Twomirrors Posts: 47 Member
    Hey Razor,

    First off, know that we're all here for you, even if your friends and family don't get it. We get it.

    Second, I'm in the same boat. Some of us just can't eat as many calories as other people can. Those people who can eat ice cream/pizza/candy/soda/etc every day are freaks. When the bird flu comes, those skinny *kitten* will be the first to go: no reserves. =)

    Joking aside, I too am totally terrified of gaining back weight, and I freak out about what I'm putting in my mouth too. You're not alone.

    I agree with the people who suggest you talk to a professional. Give your local public health department a call and ask them for a reference. Public health departments are awesome and professional, and the people who work there, in my experience, are more compassionate than the people at a regular doctor's office. Plus, you don't need insurance. They'll help you out. But that's not a "right now" answer. Here are a couple of thoughts:

    As for the food side of things, it's possible you've driven your body into starvation mode, and it's being super efficient with the food you're giving it. Try kicking your calories up to maintenance level for a couple of weeks, and maybe upping your exercise too, so you can eat even more. Also, the guy who said to look at weekly calories rather than daily was right on. Eat 1600 one day. Eat 2500 another day. Mix it up. That way you get to have treats some days and be hungry other days. You too can walk around eating pizza and ice cream and looking smug in your new svelte body. =)

    I hope that helps. You sound like you're going through a rough patch. Been there. Understand. I hope things get better soon, and know that we're all here for you. Hang in there. You've done an awesome job losing a ton of weight, and you will be able to keep it off. And maybe, just maybe, you'll inspire your family to join you!
  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    There isn't any free help or anything they could offer for free. Welcome to the world..where Doctors only concern is money and not helping those who are in need :( I just want my life back. I want to keep looking like I do now, and not have to worry every second of every day....its wearing me out..

    I looked at your profile and it says you are in college?? Most universities have counselors you can talk to that might can help you find affordable help if they feel they are unqualified, or they may be able to help. Might be a good place to start....
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
    Hi there,
    I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. It seems like you could benefit from talking to a professional.
    There isn't any free help or anything they could offer for free.
    There are many places were you can get counselling for free, starting at your university, probably. If they have a counselling center, they'll offer services for free. If not, a quick google search gave me this result http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help-today/ . They have a hotline you can call for free and ask about professionals in your area.

    I wish you the best of luck. You seem like an incredibly determined person (you lost 70lbs!), so you can get through this! You don't need to suffer :flowerforyou:
  • RazorTazor
    RazorTazor Posts: 32
    It is summer I am away from college.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Find a way, kiddo. You're obsessing, and you know it isn't right.
  • LaundryJo
    LaundryJo Posts: 47
    Hi there! Just wanted to let you know, you CAN eat normal food! Just don't eat tons of it and all the time! Eat cake and icecream, and have a burger every now and then. In a perfect world, we'd be able to withstand eating solely healthy foods, but it's not meant for all of us all of the time. You'll see over and over again where people tell you to take a day out of your week as a "cheat day." Yeah, maybe going to McDonald's and getting a Big Mac, isn't the best idea, but grill up a lean burger at home and maybe use some whole grain breads and low fat cheeses. It'll still be damn tasty! It doesn't seem fair that some people seem to be able to eat whatever they want and not gain any weight, but it can't happen that way for all of us. These bulky guys eating loads of fried and processes foods may seem healthy on the outside, but eating foods like that can only do harm. No matter how much you work out, you can't beat your diet. It just doesn't work that way. Stick with what you've been doing, but allow yourself to indulge every now and then. There are a lot of great sites that teach you how to get your sweet/salt fix without going overboard.

    And as for the bulimia, please please seek help! The fact that you can admit it here means that you acknowledge that there is a problem and I would strongly advise that you see someone about it. I hope this helps, and good luck!

    Agree with above, I hope you will be ok. Also, you never know someone's story, those pizza eating guys could be going through the same things as you, you never know. Wish I could help! I hope you can find some help. Keep us all informed of how it's going. x
  • RazorTazor
    RazorTazor Posts: 32
    Trust me I know it's not right...I just don't know what is....I don't know how much I should be eating...what level you would consider my exercise. IF i am burning the calories that I think I am.....
  • grubb1019
    grubb1019 Posts: 371 Member
    It is summer I am away from college.

    I'm going to be blunt. You are making excuses. You obviously have a problem. I'm not saying it to be mean, I'm saying it to try and help you. As others have said every community has some sort of mental health services that is free or charges based on your income. If you are in Berwick PA there is a place called CMSU in Bloomsburg. If you aren't there, then use google to find a place near you. You asked for our help, we are trying to help you.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    but see others seem to be able to eat it more then once in a while. like once a week....and i can't let go...ive tried...and I feel like dirt. I am addicted to staying skinny...and its tearing me down....and its breaking me away from my family.

    To me, this sounds like disordered eating. Please seek help with a professional -- there is NO reason you cannot eat anything and everything you want in moderation without feeling guilt.
  • debbiestine
    debbiestine Posts: 265 Member
    You don't have to eat salads and "lite" foods all the time. Please google "Mark's Daily Apple"- you can eat meat,chicken,fish, eggs/bacon, peanut (almond) butter- It's like Atkins except you can eat a little fruit and as much veggies as you want. You cut out breads/pasta/rice for the most part. you can have real butter, full fat yogurt(plain,greek) and cheese. I've found it to be much more satifsying than dieting. I have lost the last 10lbs on it and look muscular instead of "skinny". I think that's because I've always worked out- and finally the flab is disappearing :)
    After working out w/ weights you can drink a chocolate protein shake with almond butter and banana- you'll be glad you did!
  • Zobyone67
    Zobyone67 Posts: 5
    Those guys eating all that stuff in the amusement park probly planned for that. They may even used that day as a free day, who knows.. You gotta have a cheat day every once in a while to stay on track. Dont think about it all the time.
  • brneydgrlie
    brneydgrlie Posts: 464 Member
    " Focus on health and happiness, and your body will follow suit. And you'll be able to eat with your family again.. just skip certain parts of the meal and fill up on others. There is a perfect balance, but you're right, it starts with your mind"

    Im not happy about my healthy life. Im miserable. I have to evaluate every little thing that I put into my stomach. It drives me insane...and I just can't stop. I have moments where I am like "Maybe I should experiment to see if I eat what I want to see if I gain" but then I keep thinking "YOU'RE GONNA GET FAT YOU'RE GONNA GET FAT YOU'RE GONNA GET FAT!!!!"

    Look at the Eat More to Weigh Less group here on MFP. This is the route you are going to want to go if you are trying to build muscle. And the people in that group have posted plenty of success pictures, which should help ease your mind a little.

    Next, lock the scale away for awhile. Scales NEVER tell the whole story.

    And if you are trying to build muscle, get it in your head right now, that you might actually GAIN weight, but stay the same size or even get smaller. This is actually desirable! A pound of fat and a pound of muscle weigh the same amount. However, a pound of muscle is more compact, and takes up less space. Having more muscle also enables your body to burn more calories while at rest. You CAN become one of those people who can eat what they want occasionally!

    If the guys you see at fairs, etc are very athletic and muscular looking, then they are probably weight training and have a very high muscle ratio. This means that they can sometimes eat in excess of 3000+ calories daily with no problem. I agree with the poster that said that said these guys you notice are probably eating clean most of the rest of the time. If not, by the time they hit middle age, they will be paying for their mistakes!

    Food is fuel, and is necessary to sustain life and health. And yes, in our culture, eating is also a social activity. Do not deprive yourself of the fuel or the social interaction. Keep in mind that this would be detrimental to both your physical and mental health in the long run.
  • RazorTazor
    RazorTazor Posts: 32
    I'm listening to you guys honestly I am...i just....im a tough shell to crack...
  • RazorTazor
    RazorTazor Posts: 32
    once college starts back up i am going to be using our weight room to try and bulk up...as of now i am just using an exercise ball and 15lbs dumbbells and the "8 minute abs" and "8 minute arms" videos on youtube. They are working...just slowly...
  • WilliamsPeggy
    WilliamsPeggy Posts: 440 Member
    It is summer I am away from college.

    I'm going to be blunt. You are making excuses. You obviously have a problem. I'm not saying it to be mean, I'm saying it to try and help you. As others have said every community has some sort of mental health services that is free or charges based on your income. If you are in Berwick PA there is a place called CMSU in Bloomsburg. If you aren't there, then use google to find a place near you. You asked for our help, we are trying to help you.

    I agree. Do the research. Seek some help. It's available. You are worth it.
  • bridgetlevi
    bridgetlevi Posts: 2 Member
    You should be allowed a cheat day every week! your body and mind need this.
  • JacksMom12
    JacksMom12 Posts: 1,044 Member
    once college starts back up i am going to be using our weight room to try and bulk up...as of now i am just using an exercise ball and 15lbs dumbbells and the "8 minute abs" and "8 minute arms" videos on youtube. They are working...just slowly...

    You eat around 1000 calories a day. No offense, but on that diet.... Nothing you do will help you "bulk up".
  • RazorTazor
    RazorTazor Posts: 32
    no i eat roughly around 1,500. I burn about 500. Still consuming 500
  • FriskyBriski
    FriskyBriski Posts: 3
    I don't know where you are from, but in Wisconsin, every County has money set aside in the Department of Human Services specifically for Mental Health problems. Eating disorders just happens to fall in to this category. I suggest you contact your Counties Department of Human Services to find out what services are available. You need help and you need it now.
  • BSBgirl337
    BSBgirl337 Posts: 119 Member
    I am a girl, but totally hear you. I can't stand it when I see a skinny girl eating pizza, and if I eat one piece I'm going to pay for it. However, try to use this site as a tool. Yesterday, I ate pizza with my family because they were visiting. I still exercised, and I didn't lose a pound, but I didn't gain any either. I can't start doing that everyday, but I enjoyed dinner with them, and it was nice.

    And don't stop going to birthday parties just to avoid cake. I bet if you eat a slice of cake one day, you won't be heavier the next day either.

    Just don't get in the mindset that you ate that piece of cake, so you ruined the day, so you might as well eat everything you want. That is when the weight gain comes in.

    If you depreive yourself of absolutely everything you like, one day you will probably just give up and gain the weight back. Enjoy what you want. Just smaller portions and once a week, or once a month., Just not everyday.

Categories