My mom think MFP is annoying...

lacrimosia
lacrimosia Posts: 39
in Motivation and Support
Ive lost about 6lbs so far. I am trying to lose it slow and make sure that Im am burning fat and not water weight. Anyway, I calculate all my food everyday and today I was calculating some homemade meals for dinner. She comes up to me and says "Do you have to calculate everything? Its so annoying. Why do you count calories?". I told her that it is because I am trying to lose weight and MFP is the only thing that has worked so far. She doesnt like me counting cals, but as soon as I gain the weight back she complains to my family that Im too fat and that I am not losing enough weight. Its so contradicting. I dont understand why she thinks MFP is annoying, but as soon as I gain weight she is telling others how fat Im getting and how my body is not thin enough!! Do you'll deal with similar situations? What should I do? Should I not talk about weightloss around her?
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Replies

  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    Its your body, your eating plan, and your time spent in logging. SSounds like something else is bugging her to me. Try just doing what you need to do without talking about it with her...there's some kind of insecurity at work.
  • africaa
    africaa Posts: 228
    It's your life if you want to be healthy and she can't be supportive of it you're just going to have to ignore her...I was raised to respect my elders, but really? She can't support you on wanting to be healthy...smh
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Yup. Stop talking about it around her and just do it.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    Hmmm. Families are funny. You might be playing the role of the "heavy girl" in your family. So your mom might just find the focus on MFP annoying, AND it might be that she doesn't want things to change.

    So, I would say, do what you need to do, don't hide it, but don't call attention to it either. You probably want her to share your enthusiasm, but for some odd reason (guilt, embarrassment), your mom isn't ready to do that.

    Good luck, and the great thing about MFP is that you can find people who DO share your enthusiasm. Go for it! You're doing great so far, and you'll keep going : )
  • cheekyleonie
    cheekyleonie Posts: 140 Member
    I had the same problem with my Mum for a while. She wouldn't let me log in front of her.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Yep! talk to us! we love to hear all about it.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    my mom is the exact same way...gets mad when i log my exercise and track my food...she says i am obsessed....
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    yah, just stop talking about it to her. How old are you, is moving out a possibility?
  • Meloyelo2010
    Meloyelo2010 Posts: 171 Member
    Sounds like she has her own issues that she's taking out on you. Shake it off as much as you can and live your life the way you want.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Are you finding that you are talking to her because you are asking how she prepared something that you've eaten or are possibly going to be eating? Because if so, you can ask to help in the kitchen or help with the shopping. That may help you to still be able to use mfp and log your food without it seeming like you are always counting calories.
  • FitzyFitzpatrick
    FitzyFitzpatrick Posts: 188 Member
    My first guess is "Momma Guilt". She's taking on part of the blame. She did what she thought was right...but she sees what you're doing as a way of telling her what she was doing wasn't right.

    So...I think it would be a good idea to not put it in her face. Trod gently, when you're healthy, you'll both be happy. So maybe you don't need to know every specific thing in her recipe, but I bet you have a pretty good idea anyway, no?

    Maybe on a good day, ask your Mom to start writing some of her recipes down, so you can cook them for your family someday. Then you'll know exactly what's there!

    Good Luck!
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
    keep logging calories. put yourself first. do what you need to do for yourself :) don't give up just because it may be hard right now.
    I log everything too and it used to annoy/bother my mom. However, now that i've done it for so long my mom and family are getting used to it. when they ask why i still do it, I say it's just like working out, I like to do it every day and keep up with it :)

    stay positive and do what works for you. :)
  • RLT776
    RLT776 Posts: 7 Member
    Not knowing the family situation your mother may feel she is losing control when you are not following what she thinks is best for you. It must be quite discouraging, but remember you need to do this for yourself. Hang in there & don't let anyone sabotage you!
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
    I hate people like that, hate you for trying then hate you for failing. Its like they will never be happy and you know what? Screw them. Although she may feel guilty with herself it still doesnt explain her rude actions to your weight loss. No one needs that kind of rudeness... especially when its coming from your mother. Do your own thing girl!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
    I think most of the people around me think my dedication to MFP is annoying! So other than my MFP friends, I just don't share it with those around me. And I don't post a lot of health/fitness stuff on Facebook any longer. Stay healthy, and stick with us!
  • AngelTwin27
    AngelTwin27 Posts: 33 Member
    I've got a lot of friends and family who just don't get it - they are really happy for me to be losing weight and do compliment the results, but they just don't want to hear about calorie counting!

    I'm in a situation where I have a group of friends all using MFP together and it does tend to dominate conversation a lot, so when you are around other people who don't use it that conversation gets repetitive and boring for them. It's like anything really - people who don't share that interest with you, just get bored and find the topic annoying.

    Some people just don't like hearing about stuff they don't really understand, so hang in there and just don't discuss it with your Mum - I'm sure she'll be really happy for you when you lose weight, even if she doesn't really want to know about how you did it. :-)
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    tell her she's annoying haha. but seriously, hubby took months to come around. this is about you, not about her. hubby did the same thing but did get it after awhile when he saw i was happier from what i was doing. i was losing weight, feeling better about myself, being more self-confident. he saw that doing this helped me and he wanted me to help myself if this is what it took. i told him i love the encouragement and the people on here have been through what i have, hes always been tall and thin. if you need some encouragement, feel free to friend me.
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
    my mom is the exact same way...gets mad when i log my exercise and track my food...she says i am obsessed....

    i have a coworker that tells me that too! i brush her off. I remind myself.. If logging my food and excercise and tracking my progress is obssessive - then fine with me LOL. it helps me with my goals, and there's nothing wrong with that :)
  • MaryinBflo
    MaryinBflo Posts: 437 Member
    Your mother should not be telling people you are fat. Geez that is horrible. seems she says she wants you to lose weight but doesn't actually want you to do it. Maybe she's afraid you'll look better than her! Just keep doing it you know what works and ultimately you are responsible for you and your happiness. Don't let the debbie downers in your life stop you from getting to your goals!
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    my mom is the exact same way...gets mad when i log my exercise and track my food...she says i am obsessed....

    hahaha I am obsessed, with the weight loss and MFP.
  • Antonia2501
    Antonia2501 Posts: 121 Member
    Sometimes people are not on board and oh we'll if she finds it annoying. It's your life! Do it for yourself didn't care what she says it's ridiculous. Good job for doing it so far :)
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    Let her be annoyed. This is your life and you have every right to live it as a healthy, happy individual. Always remember, you are doing this for you!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    Hmmm. Families are funny. You might be playing the role of the "heavy girl" in your family. So your mom might just find the focus on MFP annoying, AND it might be that she doesn't want things to change.

    So, I would say, do what you need to do, don't hide it, but don't call attention to it either. You probably want her to share your enthusiasm, but for some odd reason (guilt, embarrassment), your mom isn't ready to do that.

    Good luck, and the great thing about MFP is that you can find people who DO share your enthusiasm. Go for it! You're doing great so far, and you'll keep going : )

    ^^ I agree with this person. I have the same issue with my best friend, but opposite. She wants me to stay fat with her. She is heavier than me, we started trying to lose weight together, then she started getting upset I was loosing and she wasn't. I ended up just not talking about weight loss and MFP around her, she ended up stopping completely, so now I have no exercise/diet partner. I'm still friends with her, but not as close, just made her mad this week, cause she asked me to have dinner. I told her I had Zumba class and can have dinner with her afterwards. She just got pissy and said No offense but I don't want to eat that late.

    So yea I feel ya
  • charl_hcafc
    charl_hcafc Posts: 50
    I would just do what you feel is right. She should encourage you to eat healthily and look after yourself. When I cook a meal I will scan the barcode on my bag of potatoes, or weigh an onion.. it can be annoying at times but that is the lifestyle that some of us adopt to get to where we would like to be!
    I say go for it, regardless of what anyone thinks. If you are happy then that is all that counts!
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
    Oh also, see if talking to your mom and sharing your weight loss goals would help her understand why you are using this site as a tool. Sometimes they just want to feel a part of it.

    Hope things work out for you :)
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Ignore your mother and never mention anything about MFP, weight loss, calorie counting or anything health and fitness related.
    People are NOT INTERESTED.
    Just let them notice the results.
    And then when they ask, just say "Eat Less -- Move More"
    That's it.
    Sometimes our closest friends and family will drag us down just to have somebody to kick.
    Keep your health and fitness program to yourself.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • ChanniVincent
    ChanniVincent Posts: 188
    My first guess is "Momma Guilt". She's taking on part of the blame. She did what she thought was right...but she sees what you're doing as a way of telling her what she was doing wasn't right.

    So...I think it would be a good idea to not put it in her face. Trod gently, when you're healthy, you'll both be happy. So maybe you don't need to know every specific thing in her recipe, but I bet you have a pretty good idea anyway, no?

    Maybe on a good day, ask your Mom to start writing some of her recipes down, so you can cook them for your family someday. Then you'll know exactly what's there!

    Good Luck!

    I think this sounds like an excellent idea :)
  • Kristy_Elizabeth
    Kristy_Elizabeth Posts: 435
    I could think of a couple of more reasons. Maybe you are not doing something she wants you to be doing, so she finds the logging annoying? For example, you don't have time to take out the trash but you have time to stand there and log? Another thing might be that she worries that it's too obsessive. I'm pretty obsessive when I'm logging, which I'm not doing currently, but I'm sure I will again. If it is working for you, which it sounds like it is, then I'd say keep it up. If you figure out what' bugging her and can help her out with it well and good, but don't let her derail you and maybe it's just something she needs to work out for herself.
  • meeka472
    meeka472 Posts: 283 Member
    My mom thought MFP was stupid too. Now she's on here too and she's lost almost 40 lbs...
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Respectfully kindly ask a few questions to see what she means. That way you will have clear understanding....it is too vague so far. Have a peaceful communication...plan to be at peace about how she answers you. Then next time the two of you converse about it there won't likely be heatedness in the conversation. After she has thought about things, she may find herself curious, and won't come across as critical sounding.

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