Depression/anxiety and diet

Mind over matter, unfortunately. After coping for years, I actually find the depression easier to deal with than the anxiety - if I'm depressed I force myself to get up, have a shower and do some form of exercise. The anxiety attacks can cripple me but I find breathing exercises helpful and I have read some good self-help books over the years.

I actually have the opposite problem regarding food - I have to force myself to eat when I'm on a downslide but I do find it pulls me round again more quickly, so if you can find the strength to resist turning to food when you have a slump you might find you recover more quickly.

Eating a generally healthy diet with plenty of unprocessed food and fresh fruit and veg and drinking plenty of water seem to help my general mental health, as does taking better care of myself in general - I'm actually wearing makeup most days now, whereas a few months ago I wouldn't have bothered because I had such a poor self-image. Excessive alcohol and caffeine and not getting enough sleep all act as triggers for me, so I try to be sensible in this regard.

I'm sorry I can't offer much in the way of practical advice but I hope knowing you're not alone in dealing with these conditions helps a little. I've been suicidal in the past and have been on medication on and off for years - I'm currently off it and still coping so it can be done, it's just flaming hard sometimes! I wish you all the very best xx

My problem when having a down day is the thought of "well why not?" is stronger than the "you need to be healthy". It's a difficult one to get round.

That's where you need to be at your strongest, I'm afraid. There are a host of techniques out there, what works for some doesn't work for others, but I do find affirmations helpful. When I'm in that kind of situation I use "I refuse to sabotage myself". When the voice telling me I'm ugly and worthless kicks in, I laugh at it, or tell it it's talking rubbish then ignore - I refuse to engage in internal dialogues these days because that's giving credence to a part of me that's hellbent on making me unhappy, and I want to be happy. Bear in mind, I've been doing work on myself for over 20 years now, none of this happens overnight. It's a slow process but a worthwhile one, hang on in there and you will find a way to overcome your particular negative thought processes - it's a form of CBT, even though I've never had professional therapy. But this option might be worth exploring alongside the medication? Have a chat to your GP about getting referred for CBT/counselling if you haven't done so already.

I don't generally eat much processed food but I do have a problem where the place I feel safest is my local pub, and tbh I don't want to reduce my alcohol use as then I'd lose my safe place, does that make sense?

Completely. You've found a 'safe place' which you can also self-medicate in (not judging - been there and done that!) so you need to separate the two out. Keep going to the pub but try switching to soft drinks for a week or two while you work out whether it's the pub or the alcohol that's the primary draw. We live in a drinking culture where ordering a soft drink in a pub without good reason is akin to running naked down the high street, so tell people you're on anti-biotics or painkillers that you can't mix with alcohol and they'll accept it. That'll give you a bit of breathing space to work out if you do feel better without drinking and decide if you want to cut it out/down on a longterm basis. I have several dry days a week now (that would have been unthinkable a few years ago!) and I do find my general mood is improved for it.