Dealing with an Ex that you Love

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Romans624
Romans624 Posts: 822
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
edit: Thanks neverstray


If you want your ex back, and you are still both caring about each other, acting kind but sort of distant, and there were problems in the relationship what do you do? It ended for a reason but people can still win each other back right?


a. talk to them as you're available, not making extra time
b. show them how much you care, and always be there for them
c. stop talking to them
d. something else?

Replies

  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    .
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I'm not sure what you are asking. Your question maybe has a couple double negatives and I can't tell what you are trying to ask.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    I'm not sure what you are asking. Your question maybe has a couple double negatives and I can't tell what you are trying to ask.

    Thanks, edited :)
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    I still love my ex husband, but the break up happened for a reason and I know he's no good for me. We are friends and really good at THAT part but romance, no.

    If this is something you want to work out, I suggest just outright telling the other person. Why play games?
  • vcreinert
    vcreinert Posts: 83
    This is a diet board. Not Dear Abby. Of course Dr. Phil could stand a lose a few lbs.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,137 Member
    b
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    This is a diet board. Not Dear Abby. Of course Dr. Phil could stand a lose a few lbs.

    i suggest you leave the "chit chat" area then.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    It depends on WHY the relationship ended in the first place. If there was abuse or drugs or cheating involved, I say, "love him from a distance," pray for him, and move forward.

    If it is something that you feel can be worked out, just be upfront and honest about it. Tell him how you feel. Work out the problems. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    This is a diet board. Not Dear Abby. Of course Dr. Phil could stand a lose a few lbs.

    mydietpal?
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Get out and start seeing people, enjoying life and don't regress into the mire you escaped.
    If you are fat, don't date seriously until you've lost the weight and are at your best, so you can draw the best.
    No need to settle for what you already rejected.
    BUCK UP!
    All Is Possible :bigsmile:
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    I don't still love my ex, so I can't help.

    But I wouldn't mind doing terrible, terrible things to her in the sack one more time. Stuff you'd never talk to your mom about. We used to do fine work in that capacity.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    Thanks to all of you who responded nicely and or helpfully. :flowerforyou:

    It was SORT OF mutual at first, but is a little bit more on his side of him ending it. We have things we need to work out as individuals, but I don't want to close the door on the possibilities between us.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    I still love my ex husband, but the break up happened for a reason and I know he's no good for me. We are friends and really good at THAT part but romance, no.

    If this is something you want to work out, I suggest just outright telling the other person. Why play games?

    I'm pretty sure I've told him and he knows. I"m just trying to figure out how to relate to him now.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    I still love my ex husband, but the break up happened for a reason and I know he's no good for me. We are friends and really good at THAT part but romance, no.

    If this is something you want to work out, I suggest just outright telling the other person. Why play games?

    I'm pretty sure I've told him and he knows. I"m just trying to figure out how to relate to him now.

    Is there something you guys have in common that you can do? Hey, it's a holiday, ask him if he wants to go watch fireworks somewheres if that's something he'd be interested in.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    First off I'd decide if he and the relationship were worth working on. Whatever "problems" you're dealing with need to be dealt with first, whether it's with him or not. Talk to him, tell him how you feel and if he responds well you might be able to work it out - if you've both decided to do so. Talk to him, not strangers on the internet. Best to you. :)
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    First off I'd decide if he and the relationship were worth working on. Whatever "problems" you're dealing with need to be dealt with first, whether it's with him or not. Talk to him, tell him how you feel and if he responds well you might be able to work it out - if you've both decided to do so. Talk to him, not strangers on the internet. Best to you. :)

    Thanks for responding. I've read this other part of it before though where people say "talk to "x" person and not strangers on the internet".... the thing is I have and am talking to him. But I'm not going to ask him for advice on how to deal with a situation that involves him. I'd just do it. As far as talking to strangers on the internet... I don't really know why people say this. People talk about all kinds of things on the internet with people they don't know and sometimes the "anonymity" is better?
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    I still love my ex husband, but the break up happened for a reason and I know he's no good for me. We are friends and really good at THAT part but romance, no.

    If this is something you want to work out, I suggest just outright telling the other person. Why play games?

    I'm pretty sure I've told him and he knows. I"m just trying to figure out how to relate to him now.

    Is there something you guys have in common that you can do? Hey, it's a holiday, ask him if he wants to go watch fireworks somewheres if that's something he'd be interested in.

    That is a really good idea... it would be doable if we lived anywhere near each other anymore. I left out a lot of details for anonymity and also so its not too many details to bother people with.
  • yaddayaddayadda
    yaddayaddayadda Posts: 430 Member
    It sounds like you want to work things out with him...

    I would tell you that if he is finished, you need to move on. If you put yourself out there, and he is not interested, it will only hurt you again. That said, we all must do what we feel is best at the time, so...

    If you think there is a chance, I would talk to him. Put it out there. Be truthful with him, and ask him to be honest with you. No need to beat around the bush. Maybe you can work it out.

    The only one who can truly answer your question is him. Good luck. I hope your life moves in the direction that is best for you.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
    What are you wanting. Friends with benefits or something deeper - the emotional ties will get in the way if he's not looking for the same thing you need and want. Clear expectations is the best plan and will save some heart ache later on.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I never had an ex cause my husband have been my first. I suggest just keep communcation open and hang out with him more. See fireworks with him or have a bbq for the 4th of July :smile: Just start off slow for now.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    What are you wanting. Friends with benefits or something deeper - the emotional ties will get in the way if he's not looking for the same thing you need and want. Clear expectations is the best plan and will save some heart ache later on.

    Well we are married til August so what I want is for us to both get over our personal issues(I've already made good headway on mine) and for us to stay married, and be happy.

    The suggestions to do stuff together are great, but I can't because he is in Wyoming and I am on the east coast. We might see each other once in august when he heads up to Maine, but we haven't even talked about that. So anything that we talk about or do would have to be online or over the phone. Not much I can do I guess.
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