confidence

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littlelol
littlelol Posts: 539
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone find that although they have lost weight, they still have low self esteem? I always think that my boyfriend is way too good looking for me and that he could get someone so much better than me. Its not a nice feeling :(

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  • Polebarbie
    Polebarbie Posts: 84
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    If I looked like you my self-esteem would be so high your gorgeous, but I do know the feeling
  • stephanie_pephanie
    stephanie_pephanie Posts: 24
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    Yes! Although being healthy has helped. I've decided to treat working on my self-esteem like I treat looking after my body... one day at a time.

    Focus on things that make you you, even the things that you dislike about yourself are unique to you. Perhaps one of your toes is wonky or you pee your pants when you laugh (just an example)! You don't necessarily have to like a trait or a particular part on your body, just accept it though, whatever it is. Perfection is not required, you are already perfectly you! I'm sure your boyfriend loves you just the way you are (and if he doesn't then bloody well good riddance if he shacks up with someone else!!) Good luck to you, you really are a stunning woman!:flowerforyou:
  • DizzyLinds
    DizzyLinds Posts: 856 Member
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    I defo lack self esteem. I'm not sure when i'll ever feel confident in myself.
  • redwan2001
    redwan2001 Posts: 286 Member
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    Yes your not the only one that feels that way, its a mental thing it really is.You have to keep working on your confidence, pep talks, what makes you who you are. Although looks do matter, its the things that you do and the person that you are that he also loves. So do not think that way. Always try to think positive :)


    Nadia
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
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    Does anyone find that although they have lost weight, they still have low self esteem? I always think that my boyfriend is way too good looking for me and that he could get someone so much better than me. Its not a nice feeling :(

    Oh, honey.... I could fill a few encyclopedias worth of negative thoughts about my appearance. In fact, my husband bought me a dress just so he could show me how beautiful he thinks I am. I swear, I don't think I'll ever see what he sees! I think I still look the same and I've lost almost 50 lbs.
  • vltaylor35
    vltaylor35 Posts: 72
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    absolutly. ive lost 40 pounds now and am the exact same weight i was when my girlfriend and i first met. but i still look at myself and think she surely cant find me attractive. i still have alot of weight to lose so i am hoping that the confidence grows with time
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
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    Does anyone find that although they have lost weight, they still have low self esteem? I always think that my boyfriend is way too good looking for me and that he could get someone so much better than me. Its not a nice feeling :(

    is this because you correlate losing weight with your boyfriend finding you attractive?
  • littlelol
    littlelol Posts: 539
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    im not sure?
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    I don't think losing weight will magically turn people into all the things they ever wanted to be.

    As an example, an acquaintance of mine blamed her large and slightly hooked nose for all the ills in her life. If she didn't get a job after an interview, the nose was to blame. If a guy didn't ask her out for a 2nd date, her nose was to blame. She externalised everything negative on her blimmin hooter. Then she spent a load of money having rhinoplasty... The outcome?? She was furious because 90% of people didn't even notice until she pointed it out, and now she is looking for other things to "fix".

    What she has never done is actually had a little look at her own value base. To what extent she put "perfect physical appearance" on this huge pedestal at the expense of other characteristics. No matter how much weight you lose there will always be someone more beautiful than you, and the way you feel about yourself will not change until you change your outlook.
  • militarydreams
    militarydreams Posts: 198 Member
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    Beauty is more than the way you look. If you didn't believe it before you lost weight then you wont after either. I can honestly say that many girls I've met that are 'pretty' haven't been attractive, why? We didn't connect, I didn't understand them, I couldn't see far enough ahead to trust them, they projected themselves as something they weren't, or maybe they just walked staring at the floor.

    If you're happy with yourself then you'll be unstoppable... sure there will be guys that wont find you attractive but that's life. It sounds to me like your guy chose you before you lost the weight, have a little think about that.
  • UticaBoy51
    UticaBoy51 Posts: 344 Member
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    I don't think losing weight will magically turn people into all the things they ever wanted to be.

    As an example, an acquaintance of mine blamed her large and slightly hooked nose for all the ills in her life. If she didn't get a job after an interview, the nose was to blame. If a guy didn't ask her out for a 2nd date, her nose was to blame. She externalised everything negative on her blimmin hooter. Then she spent a load of money having rhinoplasty... The outcome?? She was furious because 90% of people didn't even notice until she pointed it out, and now she is looking for other things to "fix".

    What she has never done is actually had a little look at her own value base. To what extent she put "perfect physical appearance" on this huge pedestal at the expense of other characteristics. No matter how much weight you lose there will always be someone more beautiful than you, and the way you feel about yourself will not change until you change your outlook.

    I agree with most of what you said here but people do judge you on your appearance, particularly with jobs. I don't know about a nose but weight for sure. I have seen that first hand and have heard from people that are assumed lazy because of their weight.
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
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    im not sure?

    i'll let you in on a secret, he already finds you attractive, he did before you lost the weigh and during and he still does now. Enjoy that fact he likes you no matter what, try to take comfort in this rather than obsess.

    p.s please don't take this the wrong way its meant with love not guns.

    :D
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
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    Does anyone find that although they have lost weight, they still have low self esteem? I always think that my boyfriend is way too good looking for me and that he could get someone so much better than me. Its not a nice feeling :(

    I hear ya. I lost 53 pounds and I still I feel that my bf is too good for me as he has a good job and comes from a well-off family who has been able to travel the world while it took a year of fundraising for me to get a bus trip to Disney with the marching band. He's trying to lose weight too so at least we have that in common now. He says he doesn't understand why I feel this way though as he says I'm beautiful all the time and stuff, so it's gonna take a lot of work to see myself the way he sees me but his encouragement is definitely a start. :)

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