need you girls advice

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sherri85
sherri85 Posts: 148 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok I have this guy that I went to school with and was grade school sweethearts with that contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago and said he has never quit thinking about me and wondering what if.. And he wants to take me out.. Here is the problem he is dating someone else and I think that she thinks they are exclusive.. He text me everyday Monday through Friday but not ever on the weekends so I can tell they are together then.. Do I date him and and be thankful he was honest from the start or run for the hills??? I have been hurt in almost every serious relationship I have been in so I am very leary!! What would you guys do??
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Replies

  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Depends...are you okay with being the "other woman"??
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Depends...are you okay with being the "other woman"??

    What he said but it sort of sounds like you're the "other woman" already since he texts you daily.
  • janemem
    janemem Posts: 575 Member
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    Does he just want friendship or something more?
    If he just wants to be friends then no problem but if he wants to pick up where things left off then I'd definitely want him to tell his g/f that it's over with them before I even thought about dating him.
    You don't want to be hurt and I'm sure you wouldn't want this other lady to get hurt either.
    He's got to be honest about what he wants from you and what he's going to do about his current relationship.
    Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    i would definitely ask him what the other girl knows/thinks about their exclusivity before entering in anything.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Here is the problem he is dating someone else and I think that she thinks they are exclusive.. He text me everyday Monday through Friday but not ever on the weekends so I can tell they are together then.
    How do you know he is dating someone else? What makes you think that she thinks they are exclusive? Do you know her?
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
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    Only you can decide what you are willing to live with and deal with.

    Personally, I would not be okay with dating someone who was dating someone else, especially if the first woman thought they were exclusive. And I guess maybe I'm selfish, but I want to be priority, not an option or something out of convenience. But that's what I'm going to do for the guy I'm seeing. I'm not going to date more than one guy at a time, well, not past a first date anyway...
  • _beautiful_disaster_
    _beautiful_disaster_ Posts: 182
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    I dont think you should, because if hes doing it around with her, he could be doing it around with you if you date him. If he's gonna go behind her back to talk to you, but on weekends you cant. Then if you got with him, he would be doing the same thing with someone else and you would never know. So no, find someone whos loyal and honest and doesn't play you like that.
  • txsjhawk
    txsjhawk Posts: 25
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    Run!!!! You never want to be hidden or his second choice, which is what you would be. You deserve so much more than that. Life is to short to settle.
  • shellsrenee01
    shellsrenee01 Posts: 357 Member
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    When you say grade school...do you mean grade school (K-5th/6th?) or did you maybe mean grad school (graduate school)? I want to resist responding until I'm clear on the age we're talking about, lol. :happy:
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
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    This happens to single friends of mine ALL the time. Exes fishing for hookups with ex girlfriends via Facebook. Run the other way fast!
  • Izzyd1979
    Izzyd1979 Posts: 24 Member
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    Don't be his second choice. If he wants to be with you, he should have the decency to tell the other woman. If he doesn't - what tells you he won't do the same thing to you later on? Guys who find a "replacement" before leaving someone are not worth a woman who respects herself"s time. You are worth having saturdays and sundays too!! Don't settle for less.
  • MadeInDR022
    MadeInDR022 Posts: 260
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    AS it was stated earlier, if he's looking at you as a friend, then totally go out with him for dinner or whatever. BUT you need to also look at him as a friend. IF he's just trying to double dip, then he will most likely not want anything serious and you run the risk of heartbreak. Entering messy situations will lead to a messy end. Good luck!
  • bringit30
    bringit30 Posts: 103 Member
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    Just go out to dinner as friends. You don't have to be the "other woman" if you just go out for a bite to eat to catch up from the past.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    Run!!!! You never want to be hidden or his second choice, which is what you would be. You deserve so much more than that. Life is to short to settle.

    i agree. if you two do ever end up together and she is out of the picture, who is to say someone else won't catch his eye and you are left in the dust of their romance. not cool.

    also try and talk to him. when my dad started dating after he divorced my mom, he went on many many dates before he settled down with someone. maybe they aren't as exclusive as you think they are.
  • SongbirdLandy
    SongbirdLandy Posts: 188 Member
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    Run and never look back!
  • rainavsfood
    rainavsfood Posts: 79 Member
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    RUN the other direction. Any man that wants to date you but has 'another woman' is TROUBLE. If he's doing it to her, he'll do it to you. Love yourself more than that... :smile:
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
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    You know it is wrong. You deserve better than a guy who would do that to someone. Don't ever be anybody's second choice.
  • dianniejt
    dianniejt Posts: 175 Member
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    If you have to ask for advice than its probably a bad idea. I would run.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    If he is honestly wondering "what if" with you while he has another on his arm, that sort of says a lot about what may happen if you pursue that route. Even if he's just looking to be buddies, you have to wonder if his girlfriend will be comfortable knowing your history.

    Personally I would ask him exactly what he is looking to get out of contacting you after all this time and see if you're comfortable with it or not knowing what you know. If he's looking for more and you're not, tell him so. If he leaves after that, he wasn't worth even reminiscing over.
  • deesaf
    deesaf Posts: 46
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    He sounds sleazy and untrustworthy and has already shown a COMPLETE lack of respect to you and this other lady. You deserve better than this.

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