Needing Support

I am really just needing to develop a good stable support network of people with similar goals and possible the same struggles as me.

My family tries....They say they'll help and support me (cause they could ALL use some weightloss, even more then me). However, they say that and then have big get togethers with junk food all over. It kinda is counterproductive.

Anyway, this is just my little shout out for help. My future husband is leaving for Iraq in a few months and my goal is to lose a significant amount of unhealthy weight before him comes home in a year.

I need to lose about 50 lbs too. I just don't want to end up a diabetic like my parents are....I have only been on this site a few days and it's already help me realize why it's no wonder I've been gaining weight....let alone not losing any.

I haven't really reached out a ton to find support cause on other sites usually people lose interest or just can't be bothered to form a good solid support group.

So much is going on (wedding, postponing of wedding due to the military, teaching, deployment, single parent) that for me I do a lot of stress eating and it's usually not the healthy kind of stuff I reach for.

Thanks for the support. Obviously this place really does believe in being there for each other.

Actually, I won't be living near where my fiance is stationed. He's National Gaurd in WA and I am a school teach in ID. I know weird. We decided for his sanity to have me stay in Idaho with my family while he is away so he won't have to worry about us (my daughter and I), which is okay with me, except the whole "family eating issues."

I am actually freaking out pretty bad about the whole situation even though I try not to show it or talk about it. I mean, I wake up everyday with the mentality "He may not be coming back..." which is not the best but I am a total realist and know that is what I am getting into...which increases the stress. Also, with the military not saying whether he can have time to get married next month that's more stress. I've basically been a walking water fountain since Friday...a part of me is like, "It's a sign!"

Oh don't get me wrong...I'd just do the judge thing in a heart beat. The catch for him is that he doesn't want us living in seperate states after we are married. I teach until the middle of June so can't really just STAY in WA right away.

I know it's going to be hard, and I am trying to prepare myself mentaly for it. However, over the last few weeks, I've noticed I've been totally emotionally eating. I didn't even think I was stressed til all this wedding roadblock stuff came up this weekend. However, it came up just about the same time I found this site and I've been working on keeping in my limits and trying to be as close to what my exercises are. That helps a lot cause I was WAY wrong on how I was doing things.

I would only eat 1200 calories on top of working out 45+ (sometimes 3 hours) a day! With this site it actually adds what calories I need to be adding on top of normal calories!

I don't want to be a military fiance/girlfriend for a year. Due to the reason that if he were to die and we never got married....it would kill me...I am not sure I'd be able to forgive myself. I will admit I am still tossing in my brain, "Is this a sign....that we should wait, that it's not meant to be...." All those things and the truth is...I don't know. I typically don't believe in fate, that I am the one who has the most say in my destiny...but it was an addition to other odd things (such as my former boyfriend showing up outta the blue...)

I've had friends who married on leave as well.... but in my heart I am like, "What if something were to happen....right off...and there never was a leave." I guess I am a worrier by nature. I understand the mercenary statement, but I made sure that I was prepared for remarriage. I teach, his benefits are not necessary (also very limited in Idaho) due to my profession but it's nice to know they are there.

He is in training all of july and leaves the middle of august.

I am not sure I could wait...just with my mentality.

Military benefits are a pain in the butt to access in Idaho, especially in the rural parts. Not tons of places that support military families, which isn't fun. There are way more benefits then that which he brings to the table.

He is talking about waiting now...til leave or when he gets back in a year.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

I basically had to tell him that maybe we'd try to get married when things settled down. I just...I thought this was all taken care of before. That it wouldn't be such a hassel to him just to simply get married.

I don't want to wait...because the whole..."What if...?" factor. I think in his mind it's easiest but in my mind it's just more stress for me. I mean....life has no garuntee...

He is protection for convoys. I have heard crazy stories as well. Most hitting too close to home due to buddies..... I'm wigging out and he's wigging out....and the last thing I want is him worrying about me. It's just so frustrating.

I didn't want to eat after he told me. I was just so upset my stomach hurt and everything. I even cried! AT SCHOOL! In front of kids! It was mortifying. Anyway... we are still trying to figure it out. It's a no go on leave and it's taken all day to convince him that getting married is easy. Having a wedding is more time consuming.