Men and Women are so different

***Disclaimer -- This information is based solely on the observations of Road Dog. Men should not attempt to discuss this with the women in their life.

I guess my brain is not hardwired to understand how women shop. I’m married. Have three daughters, 2 granddaughters, 3 sisters-in-law, 2 sisters. I feel qualified to address the issue.

Here’s how women shop.
Are they out looking for something they need? Nope. Between my wife and daughters alone, they have enough shoes between them to open their own high-end shoe store. Are they wearing tattered clothes to work every day? Nope.I had to build a closet downstairs for MY clothing, because my wife takes up the Master Bedroom closet, the guest bedroom closet, and, not that my youngest is off to college, my wife has started moving clothes into her old closet.
So what’s the deal with shopping? It ain’t need.
And the manner in which they shop? I don’t ask, but here’s what I might hear as they ready for shopping safari:
“They’re having a sale at…..”
“I’ve got an additional 30% off coupon.”
“I have an additional 20% off my last receipt is I use it by….”
Off they go. They’re also armed with a couple “Buy One Get One” coupon as well. There’s a pot of coffee on the counter, but they just got their Gold Card from Starbucks, so that’s their first stop. Lunch somewhere in the middle of the shopping spree is a given.

Now, they may not even have an item to purchase in mind, but that coupon expires by the end of the week and letting it expire unused is unheard of.
They’re gone all day. Here’s where I’m lost, because I don’t ask what they’ve done while they are out. But, they might come back with 3 bags, several items, and, they want to show every single one to me. I get a rundown on the reason they bought these particular items:
“This matches my magenta blouse.”
“I needed these shoes for so and so’s retirement party.”
“You love the way I look in the red one, so I got a matching blue one.”
I haven’t even scratched the surface.
Oh. They don’t tell you how much they spent. Not that I care. What they tell you is how much they saved:
“Combined a 1 day sale item with my BOGO and the 20% coupon. Saved $17.00”

It’s not over either. Several of the items are going back next week to be exchanged and/or credited to their account. Thus allowing for the cycle to begin again.

Here’s how this man shops.
I need a black shirt. First, I go on-line and Google “Black Shirts”. Most of the time, this does it. I order a black shirt on the Internet.
Let’s say I can’t find a black shirt on line. Highly unlikely, but it happens. I head to a store that sells black shirts. Park, Go in. Go straight to the black shirt rack. Now…if I don’t know where the black shirt rack is, I don’t go up and down every aisle looking for it. I look for the sales person and ask for the directions. I’m now at the black shirt rack. I find one very quickly. If I really like it, I buy several, so I don’t have to go through this again anytime soon. I rarely buy any other item except the black shirt. If I happen to buy something on impulse, it’s because it is on the most direct route from the black shirt rack to the cash register. Even then, it’s unlikely, unless there is some cute, busty clerk in a low cut top waving me over.
I pay for my purchase and go home. No, I don’t want a store credit card, so I can save 20% on my next purchase. No, I don’t want to sign up for the preferred customer’s club. No, I don’t have a coupon.

If, for some reason, I get home and decide in a few days I don’t really like it, do I take it back? Nope. I’ll be polishing my motorcycle with it.