Friends or no Friends?

italianangel143
italianangel143 Posts: 64
edited December 24 in Motivation and Support
Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?
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Replies

  • Twiztedbeing
    Twiztedbeing Posts: 389
    Honestly it depends. There are some that work great together and some that just play around. If you do not think you could work seriously with anyone there, then stick with what is working for you. Do not let them pressure you into giving your info, however if you post a lot on forums, they may find you eventually. Either way, it just depends on a persons motivation to work out. If they do not have the motivation, then its just another social network to them.
  • curryinahurry
    curryinahurry Posts: 83 Member
    Nope. I have no friends on here yet. I just log my daily stuff and try to stay focused. For me, I am not against friends but I want to do this myself. So do not feel bad for doing what you have to do. Also, I am always reading community posts, that helps me see I am not alone with various topics. Good luck.
  • stfuriada
    stfuriada Posts: 445 Member
    I don't accept requests either.

    This whole process is dependent on me anyway. If I fall off the wagon cheerleaders or pep talks wouldn't do anything unless *I* scrounge up my willpower and start again.

    @! <3hearts/flowers/smileyface" ? That's actually more embarrassing than anything.
  • italianangel143
    italianangel143 Posts: 64
    No friends. Being mean and aloof is much easier.

    Lol! So true...

    And thanks all of you... At this point its just something new for some of them. After a week or two I honestly don't think half of them will be on here. I'm just trying to take this serious. I want to change my life style not just be on a diet.
  • Francesca3162
    Francesca3162 Posts: 520 Member
    I have made new MFP friends on here, but DO NOT want co-workers or family on MFP as friends... It is just what works for me! I am doing this for myself and by myself with support from the friends I have gained here that can relate to my struggle....
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    I only know one person on my MFP friends list. Everyone else are people I have met on MFP for support and to support them.
  • TadaGanIarracht
    TadaGanIarracht Posts: 2,615 Member
    People suck. That is all.
  • RealSouthpaw
    RealSouthpaw Posts: 14
    Everything depends on what you think. If you think that you can work seriously with them, then sure. Personally I don't like to have irl-friends here but I gladly accept request from random people because I handle my eating better with friends than without friends. And that is because they see my food diary. (Also stalking their diaries can give new ideas when I'm planning what to eat.)
  • this1bigdog
    this1bigdog Posts: 350 Member
    I don't do any of my friends or coworkers...
    they are my geniue pigs...
    if they notice it's a NSV for me..

    if they knew I was on MFP and trying to lose..then they might throw me a bone...
    and I don't/need pity/charity!

    I am here to kick a** for myself
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    You opened a can of worms - :laugh:
    Now you know better...
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
    I read somewhere "There are two things to never tell anyone about if you wish to be successful: When you're writing a book and when you're losing weight." I have friends on here, but they're almost all strangers to me (the exceptions being my husband and aunt). I don't care to have people "watching" me here AND in my everyday life; that would just get a little overwhelming. But that's just me. :)
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    not at all- i think it was rude of the person to email the entire department without asking you since it's "your thing."
  • italianangel143
    italianangel143 Posts: 64
    You opened a can of worms - :laugh:
    Now you know better...

    I know I felt like slapping myself. Now I have to wait it out :'( life lessons lol
  • nsalerno90
    nsalerno90 Posts: 68
    I am keeping my friend group very small, and only those who are very serious. I have not told anyone in my "life" what specifically I am doing and I agree -- if they notice, it is a good thing but not what I am living for. You do what feels comfortable to you -- I am a life coach and I work with a lot of people who are trying to live lives that feel good to them. You obviously already have those instincts so stick to your guns. . .
  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    I have made new MFP friends on here, but DO NOT want co-workers or family on MFP as friends... It is just what works for me! I am doing this for myself and by myself with support from the friends I have gained here that can relate to my struggle....

    ^^^ THIS!!
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    I honestly would rather not have people I actually *know* in life following me here. I have one friend that does, but she's cool. I, for instance, would not like to hear my mom's take on it if I decide to have a few drinks (which I do, frequently).
  • waskier
    waskier Posts: 254 Member
    Not at all. Just like Facebook, I do not "friend" people from work. What I do on private has no place in the work environment. I politely decline requests that I receive periodically and simply explain why when I see them at the office. None have taken offense yet.
  • ntw25
    ntw25 Posts: 149 Member
    I have made new MFP friends on here, but DO NOT want co-workers or family on MFP as friends... It is just what works for me! I am doing this for myself and by myself with support from the friends I have gained here that can relate to my struggle....

    This is me too. I have a lot of friends on here that I do not really know, but they provide me with support, inspiration and motivation. I have similar outside of cyberspace, but they are just different.
  • mburger84
    mburger84 Posts: 19 Member
    ive been encouraging people i know to get on here too as Ive found it super helpful but started to realize im not sure i want a ton of people i know to be my friends. I feel like i wouldnt feel as comfortable and it is more about me vs socializing. granted i love having friends, but id almost prefer friends i dont actually know LOL and people that take it seriously vs just doing it for fun
  • DebbsBee
    DebbsBee Posts: 13
    There is no need to feel bad about refusing to give out your info, this is not a social networking site if they want to talk to you online they can use Facebook or whatever you use for social networking. This is a fitness site with a social side to it IF you want to use it, it's up to you. Just explain that you are flattered they want to connect with you but that you feel that your weight loss journey is a private matter, I'm sure they'll understand.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I love my MFP friends, but I wouldn't want co-workers on here. I know of one girl who is on here, but I don't think she knows I am. This is my safe place, if co-workers are here, then it is no longer.
  • susjan
    susjan Posts: 105
    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    No, it's entirely within your decision if you want them as your 'friends' on here. I don't buy into that hype... just like I didn't buy into the hype of being facebook friends with people that you work with. I declined a half a dozen people in my department because I didn't feel compelled to include them in my daily rants. Do what makes you feel best!!
  • paulsmisses
    paulsmisses Posts: 178
    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    I deleted my two friends because i didnt want them to read my posts to my 'anonymous' friends, i think dieting is private so speaking to people you dont know helps keep it that way!
  • deniselynn13
    deniselynn13 Posts: 120 Member
    I have made new MFP friends on here, but DO NOT want co-workers or family on MFP as friends... It is just what works for me! I am doing this for myself and by myself with support from the friends I have gained here that can relate to my struggle....

    Exactly!!!! Those that i have friended on here have similar struggles and can relate. We can motivate and push each other. My family does not support my weight loss. My husband does. Those that i work with who notice, i count as NSV's. They ask what i am doing and what the magic pill is and i smile and politely tell them good old fashioned hard work and clean eating.

    At the end of the day, this is a lifestyle change that i want to make, am committed to making and am the only one who can make these changes for myself. While the support is great, it is all in my hands.

    Good luck and stick to your guns with keeping them off your friends list....
  • HappyTru
    HappyTru Posts: 2 Member
    This is my second time on mfp, and I have decided to not have friends outside of maybe 3 people that I know (if they decide to join and friend me). Like others, I am the one who is going to get me to the gym, eat right, etc. I am in this alone, because it is my choice, my behaviors that will get me the results, not having someone say "where are you? why haven't you logged in for two days!" Also I really don't like the feed. I do not need to know how many calories such n such burned and if they are over their limit. That is why I too like the discussion boards better.
  • ncahill77
    ncahill77 Posts: 501 Member
    If it becomes an "issue" with your coworkers just create a second account and give them that information and don't use it. I don't like having people I know in real live on here, this is my safe place to b@tch and moan.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Nope, not going there. I am friends with people I am actually friends with -- coworkers are not friends. Your coworker has good intentions, but I can't help but wonder if she tramping on shaky HR ground. I would quietly say no thanks to giving your info and if the issue is pressed, politely say you want to keep your work/online life are separate. If it is still pushed, HR.
  • michellelhartwig
    michellelhartwig Posts: 486 Member
    I have friended both family and friends. All the family/friends that I friended have logged in once or twice, then quit, or are on again/off again people...so I deleted them. I have one family member that kicks butt and has lost a significant amount of weight using MFP, but we are very close and being friends here doesn't make things weird.
  • swest222
    swest222 Posts: 455 Member
    I'm in the no friends camp.
    My MFP friends are all that I need .... I find people in direct circles are too crictical of each other and that's not helpful at all.
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    it should be up to you whether or not you give out any information. I don't think it's wrong.
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