Dear MFP: this one's for you.

losinit_4_good · July 2012

Today, I'm bummed out. A few weeks ago I crossed the threshold into onederland and then I immediately yo-yo-d back to 204. boo. Then this past week I overate. A lot. More than I care to admit. And I'm bloated as all hell. So today I stepped on the scale and saw that the number reflected another 5lbs gain. Which I know is mainly bloat. I can feel it in my hands, see it in my face and I tell you right now, my new size 10 skirt did NOT fit comfortably this morning! So I decided to pout. Because sometimes, a gal just needs to let herself feel what she feels right?

So, I'm sitting around, pouting, when it occurred to me that I have spent way too much time today thinking about all the bad decisions I've made in the past 13 months of this journey. "If I hadn't eaten this or that, if I'd done that extra workout think how far I'd have come!" I felt like a failure. That this effort, 13 months in the making, was destined to fail like all the diets and exercise plans that came before it. Like it was only a matter of time til I was back up to 261 or higher and hating myself.

And then it hit me, all those "bad" choices pale in comparison to all the GOOD ones. In 13 months, I've changed my life, changed my outlook and positively impacted the choices of many of my nearest and dearest who have followed my example (their words - not mine - not trying to take credit for anyone else's actions). I've made really positive strides in my life. I am now in a position where I can set an example for my young son and teach him healthy food habits from a young age (he's gonna be 2 in a few weeks and was my original inspiration when I started this journey last spring)

And yes, I've gained a few back from my lowest (like 4 lbs) and yes, I'm terribly bloated today. And yes, I kinda still feel like crap about myself. But I'm here. I'm trying. And I refuse to give up. And sometimes, that is enough.

So to all of you that sometimes feel like you aren't accomplishing enough, that it's not happening fast enough, that you maybe you've really had enough, I want to remind you that if you are here, reading this or any other note it's because you have enough fight left in you to keep going. Even when it's hard. Even when you feel like giving up. You are here. And for me, that is enough inspiration to keep me on the right path.

With that, I want to say thank you to all the lovely friends I've made here on MFP, people who I will most likely never meet face to face but truly care for me and my well being as I care for theirs, thank you to all the strangers that share their journey, thank you to all the newbies that come on here and reach out to anyone and everyone that may be able to help, thank you to all of you, for keeping me from giving up on myself :flowerforyou:

myfitnessnmhoy · July 2012

So, I'm sitting around, pouting, when it occurred to me that I have spent way too much time today thinking about all the bad decisions I've made in the past 13 months of this journey. "If I hadn't eaten this or that, if I'd done that extra workout think how far I'd have come!" I felt like a failure. That this effort, 13 months in the making, was destined to fail like all the diets and exercise plans that came before it. Like it was only a matter of time til I was back up to 261 or higher and hating myself.

Add another 29 years and quite a few more pounds and you've pretty much got my story. Never let the past rob you of your future. Look back for reference, look forward for direction.

In 6 pounds, I shall cross the threshold from "overweight" to "normal" for the first time since I was 12 years old. Most of my life has been spent vacillating between obese and morbidly obese.

I'm well on the wrong side of 40 now, and torpedoed my own progress for way too many years because I only looked back to what I had lost being fat, and not forward to what I could gain by not being fat.

Be patient and persevere. Don't rush the weight loss, because long experience has taught me that a shortcut is almost always the longest path to any worthwhile destination.

Every ounce of me wants to rush that 6 pounds, and wants to regret every half-pound setback. I will be patient. I will lose this weight in a manner that allows me to keep it off.

It's been thirty years. What's another month or two?

Moxie42 · July 2012

I really needed to hear this today- thanks for sharing

jordanreddick · July 2012

So awesome for you! I'm glad you were able to come to this realization on your own rather than never having the light bulb pop up over your head. Celebrate the good, never dwell in the mistakes. Mistakes are made to be learned from.

alumpoflard · July 2012

This is so well written, you are exactly right, as long as we are here, logging in, we are on the right track. I have friends from all over the world who I'll never meet, some of them I don't even know what they look like, nor they me. But how can I let myself down, knowing I am letting them down too? I can't, so thanks to them I will reach my goals and I hope that I offer them the support to reach theirs too.

Well done on your fantastic loss so far, and also on your great attitude :flowerforyou:

theartichoke · July 2012

Cheers to you and your success! Not just the weight loss but the change you've made in yourself! Thank you for writing this.

twiglips · July 2012

Yes, thank you for sharing this. I know many of us feel this way sometimes, especially after a holiday!

Daydreams406 · July 2012

Such a great post, and just what I needed to read. Thank you!

Mariaisgettingfit · July 2012

This was a wonderful read! Congratulations on teaching yourself to have such a great outlook on life, I admire you

raindance_maggie · July 2012

thanks so much for this!

MadeInDR022 · July 2012

And thank YOU for writing this!

TazzytheMotivator · July 2012

You are in this to win it. Hang in there

ShelfRelianceMom · July 2012

Well said everyone. Wow!

ritalef · July 2012

Congrats on getting it!!! And for sharing! Your thoughts are the same as many of us, who didn't 'get it' until much later and
after many struggles. You're on the right track and for the right reason, your little one. You'll be a great example!

losinit_4_good · July 2012

Thanks for taking the time to read it! I'm always hesitant to post much on here but it's great to know that I'm not the only one that has these moments.

poesch77 · July 2012

Thanks dear!!! All part of the journey!

cardozm · July 2012

i refuse to give up... woo hoo !! we got this ...

rlmadrid · July 2012

I teared up. I'm on a pout day too. My IBS is ruining my daily life with fatigue, malnutrition, and stress. That means needing more food and unable to muster a workout. The constant cycle of stress just keeps the pain going. I really needed this today, and I want to thank you.

renubhat_82 · July 2012

Lynda,

I just had a thought when I was reading your post.. Its nice to read your post as always.. When the US financial crisis started, all the bad assets were dumped into bad bank and all the good assets into good bank.. Likewise, have all your negative thoughts dumped in that bad bank and bury it underground and have all the positive thoughts in good bank and carry with you life long.. Love you dear.. :-))

lkplibra · July 2012

Thank you for sharing! You are awesome and I'm so proud of you.

NewLife_11 · July 2012

Your amazing, and I am proud to call you my friend! Always encouraging and inspiring, I am so proud of all that you have achieved and so excited to see what is yet to come.

LoveNevrNds · July 2012

Lynda you are awesome! Thanks for the post! I just crossed in to wonderland and have jumped between 199-201 for the last week and a half. I couldn't help but think that my body and self are broken and that I am done losing. It was great seeing your post and realizing that the 80+ I have lost is so important to remember too! We can do this!

kelseyka · July 2012

Good for you!! I similarly had a moment of Ugh I just want to eat what I want to eat!! And It hit me...that's what I had been doing for so long! Eating what I wanted got me to where I am! I decided if I can stick with it until I lose the weight I can eat more of what I want because I'll exercise, balance calories etc.

We just cant give up for one second of cravings!

soehlerking · July 2012

thanks...i do the same thing; i stress over one bad day or 1-2 pounds of weight gain instead of looking at the 32 pounds i've fought off my body. love the post!

jjelizalde · July 2012

Thank you for posting this today. I've been frustrated with the yo-yoing scale over the past few weeks and it helped to read this.

kepirus · July 2012

Thank you for posting this, and thank you to all of those who responded - as a whole, very motivating! And like so many others said, I needed to hear it today!