People who judge!! What would you have done??

Options
124

Replies

  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    Options
    people really suck, and great job btw, packing healthy snacks for your kids. like you said, you are allowed to let yourself indulge once in a while. the thing that i seem to notice is when a person sees a heavy person eating junk food, they automatically think of it as gross, but never second guess a thin person eating the same thing. I defend that all the time, if someone i'm with sees someone else eating a double cheeseburger or something and makes a comment about it, I will tell them, you eat cheeseburgers, I eat cheeseburgers, why can't he/she have a cheeseburger? don't assume that because someone is overweight, that all they do is eat junk all day. And what if the person you see has just reached a weight loss goal and this is their treat for that, and maybe it's the first cheeseburger they've had in a long while. People shouldn't judge other people because you don't know what is really going on in their life and you don't know their story. And this applies to all types of people, not just with weight, but everything, if you don't know their story, don't judge the life they live.
  • akwagner25
    akwagner25 Posts: 62
    Options
    Honestly, it would depend my mood at the time. The reponses could have varied from my laughing and crunching Funyuns louding in her direction, to something highly sarcastic and mean, but more likely I would have said something like "Those little rugrats can get a job and buy their own Funyuns if they want some" because I would have found that funny.

    This made me laugh!! Wish I could think of witty things to say like that on the spot!!
  • akwagner25
    akwagner25 Posts: 62
    Options
    So I guess my bigger concern is that you were in a PUBLIC place, and she was drunk. the last time I checked the government funded parks and beaches are alcohol free. While I generally mind my own business, I may have gone out of my way in this case to call the police and report her.

    They don't seem to do anything about it here. We there late into the evening and it was almost sad to the amount of beer cans that lay all over the place. The poor park ranger had to come pick it all up.
  • ovenbird1977
    ovenbird1977 Posts: 13
    Options
    You did everything you could. I probably would have asked her not to use foul language in front of my children, and if that didn't work, called the cops and said a drunk was verbally harassing me and then move away from her. You can't reason with a drunk person; they're not completely rational. It's like trying to reason with a 2-year old.

    I disagree strongly that you should feel any pity or sympathy in your heart for that person. Anti-fat bias is the one remaining socially-acceptable physical stigma. What she did was no different than coming up to an amputee and calling her a "lazy, stumpy b****h". Can you imagine how hurt that handicapped person would be? Sure, maybe she could have made choices that resulted in her NOT being an amputee, but does that really make it at all ok?

    I don't have the slightest bit of pity in my heart for that mean woman. She doesn't need pity, she needs to suffer the consequences of her behavior so that she can hit bottom and get help.

    As for the original poster, stay strong. You have all this goodness inside you. Don't let her hate speech anywhere near it. Also, I would debrief your children, as they probably have all kinds of misinterpretations/shame/fear/anger/etc. about what happened. Let them tell you how it made them feel. Turn something bad into something that brings your family closer. Make sure they know that she was utterly, totally, WRONG for doing what she did, and that you are proud of them. That's what I would do.
  • JoannaLouden
    JoannaLouden Posts: 70 Member
    Options
    "I can lose weight but you'll always be a b--ch."

    What a loser of a woman. Funyuns were your special snack. Moms deserve to not have to share EVERY SINGLE THING they eat.
  • AnitaVolpato
    AnitaVolpato Posts: 204 Member
    Options
    Doesn't she know that if you feed them they just grow??? Then they need clothes and shoes...forget it, starvation is the only smart way to raise children!!!

    On a more serious note, I'm glad you handled it well...I'm not sure what I would have done, but I'm sure it would have involved a somewhat less positive role model for my children...I like to think I would be classy, but I have a bit of a temper...I'm glad there is still at least one real adult in the world!!!

    I agree with you about the temper and at least one real adult in the world. My temper is amazingly horrible and has always been that way....

    Kudos to the OP!
  • akwagner25
    akwagner25 Posts: 62
    Options
    What would I have done? Ignored the drunk.
    Ignoring only makes them think it's okay to hurl abuse at people.

    What she really needed was a good beatdown and then maybe she'd think twice about being drunk and abusive towards strangers.


    A good beat down? Seriously? Is this Jerry Springer?

    You can't reason with drunk people. Ignoring is best. I would not lower myself to the level of an angry drunk by participating. I would ignore and then explain to my kids, privately, why her behavior is inappropriate and why we should not take it to heart.

    Additionally, I would NEVER encourage my children to talk back to a drunk adult. Not their fight, not their responsibility. Children should not be pulled into adult issues.

    Just to be clear, I did not encourage my kids to say anything or pull them into anything. They got defensive, because someone was attacking their mom. Before it got to the point of my saying any choice words at all. I said things like "Mam, my kids have plenty of food, they are eating right now" and I asked her to stop. The kids spoke up and said "we aren't starving". She continued as she was packing up her stuff and for a bit, I did ignore her and the kids started to ignore her as well. She was packing up and I thought this will be over in a bit and while her comments were annoying they were still where I could ignore them. Then as she picked up the last of her things she came closer called me a F%%in fat b!tch and mumbled something about the Funyuns again and my youngest became extremely upset and yelled at her to "Leave my mom alone". That is when I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer. That is when I called her a dumb drunk b!tch and made fun of the paper box she was carrying that was oozing alcohol from it and told her she looked real classy, white trash with a paper box for her beer. Then she told me I was being rude... and my other daughter said, "Look who's talking (in a bit of a sassy way)". I told my daughter she doesn't need to say anything to her and that we won't worry about what she is saying. The lady kept hurling insults all the way to her car and we didn't say anything further. But we endured the looks of all others on the beach while it was happening. It was very hard to let it go and not do something further.

    The worst part is not only was I embarrassed, she embarrassed and upset my kids. My son didn't leave my side for the next 1/2 hour because he was afraid of how I felt. He kept saying things like "mom, I don't understand, why would she do that to you", "mom, here have some of my animal crackers, its okay", "why are people so mean". I kept trying to reassure him that I was fine and that you can't change ignorance in some people. The true thing that upset me, is that it made my kids sad. That is really what I'm stewing about, is because the kids were so sad that someone would do that to me, no matter how hard I try to explain it to them, they just don't get it, because I don't raise them to look at people in a judgy way. I know I just need to get over it, she was just a drunk and venting will help me do that.

    It's always that next day when you come up with the witty things that you could've said that would have put her in her place without me coming out with my choice words and kept me from stooping to her level. Why can't I think like that at the time its happening?
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 637 Member
    Options
    ugh I was so depressed the day I read the nutritional information/serving size on a package of fig newtons. Never ate one ever again. :(

    Same here. I also had no idea what a Funyuns was and had to google. First off I'm sorry this happened to you, no one deserves that! Honestly I would leave the Funyun snacking for at home. Because while this idiot said it out loud, you have no idea how many other people are thinking it.

    I used to enjoy eating tortilla chips, but couldn't keep a whole bag at home, so my method was to just eat a few on the walk home from the grocery store then throw the bag away still half full. Well one day I passed by 2 people I wish I hadn't and it occured to me how this looks with me walking down the street eating this big old bag of tortilla chips as if it's a snack. lol
  • Ladywindchaser
    Ladywindchaser Posts: 44 Member
    Options
    I would have done the same thing. A Lady I would not have been! lol
  • akwagner25
    akwagner25 Posts: 62
    Options
    Having two kids, 4 and 2, I'd have probably ignored her. My mom always told me to not waste my time on certain people; you don't accomplish much. If she had continued, I'd have explained to her politely to hold her tongue, as young ears are present...

    then...

    If she continued...

    Well... diplomancy only goes so far in the real world... sometimes you just need to pack up the kids and leave your cooler for last. It is amazing how sober a person becomes when you empty a cooler's half melted ice onto someone during a hot summer day. :) Since your kids are in the van, they won't see you being 'undiplomatic' and the running spring back to the car and peeling out is easily explained by 'hot' pavement... and not the looney running after you. xD

    LMAO!!
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    So yesterday, I took my children to the beach for an afternoon and evening of fun. Before going, my friend and I, who was also bringing her kids, bought lots of snacks for our children including fruit, different types of crackers (animal, cheez itz, crackers w/cheese, peanut butter crackers) and also some fig newtons. We had an entire basket full and have a small cooler full. Snacking for 9 children. Well when I swim I also like one particular snack, Funyuns. I bought this snack for myself as I too love swimming and I get very hungry when I swim. So I let myself indulge on this snack. The kids know that this snack is mine to have as a mom should be able to have something that is just hers occassionally too, but of course my children always want what I have too. Which is fine, but if I say no, my kids don't care as they know they have everything else that I brought for them. Not to mention if you say yes to one, then all 9 want them too and pretty soon you no longer have a snack.

    So here is where we get to what happened! My son asked me for a funyun, I told him no that he could grab one of the other snacks. He said fine and grabbed something else. The lady next to us, started b!tching and saying my kids were starving and here I am just eating away and won't give them a funyun. Keep in mind that I had a total of 5 kids up by me, all of which were actually eating something. 1 of the kids wasn't even a part of our group as I was feeding other kids at the beach as well if they were hanging with my kids. She started saying things like "give up the bag", "quit eating while you're kids are starving", "fat b!tch" etc. I didn't take it all lying down as a few choice words came out of my mouth about her drunken state, the paperbox she was carrying around that had alcohol oozing from it. But what I really wanted to do was give her a good smackdown, but being a mom, I had to show my kids that violence is never an answer, but sometimes that really sucks. I told them that you can use words to stick up for yourself. Which is what they did, but instead they were sticking up for me with a few things they said to her. But I had to show them that sometimes people are just ignorant and you can't change ingnorance in people.

    The real issue she had was that I am overweight. You know what, I already know that. It wasn't her issue, so get the hell over it. The thing that ticks me off, is that she is so judgemental about overweight people that she thinks that is what we do. Sit around and eat all the time and apparently starve our children. She was up there all day, did she not see these kids coming up all day getting snacks?

    I wasn't up there thinking about her all day surrounded in beer cans, in fact she wasn't even on my radar or did I even notice her until she started running her mouth. I don't go places to sit and look and judge people. I go to places to have a fun, nice day with my children. I don't understand why people act that way. Like me being overweight has anything to do with anyone else. Are people so unhappy with their own lives that they have to try to belittle others to make themselves feel better? I just don't get it.

    What would you have done in the situation? I know I did the right thing for my children's sake. Sorry the post is so long, I just needed to vent about it.

    Honesty, I probably would have told her to mind her own business before she get the funyuns up her a**. God!! PEOPLE!!
  • AgentWalker008
    AgentWalker008 Posts: 26
    Options
    I would probably have done what you did - I'd have told her what I thought of her (whilst trying to keep it civil for the sake of the kids) and then taken them and walked away from her. She sounds like a disgusting piece of scum.
  • ChanniVincent
    ChanniVincent Posts: 188
    Options
    I would of KO her ! You did much better than me, I have a temper which I do not know how to handle. I would have told the kids to go and play and look away, then dealt with her dumb***.
  • akwagner25
    akwagner25 Posts: 62
    Options
    As for the original poster, stay strong. You have all this goodness inside you. Don't let her hate speech anywhere near it. Also, I would debrief your children, as they probably have all kinds of misinterpretations/shame/fear/anger/etc. about what happened. Let them tell you how it made them feel. Turn something bad into something that brings your family closer. Make sure they know that she was utterly, totally, WRONG for doing what she did, and that you are proud of them. That's what I would do.

    This made me cry!! I am worried about how this affected them.
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 464 Member
    Options
    My reply: I may be fat, but I am losing the weight. You are a poor excuse for a person with your drunkenness, which makes you ugly. That will never change.
  • quickchekgal
    quickchekgal Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    Psh! Some people..I would have found a lifeguard or something because you cant drink on the beach. Well...not here anyway.
  • raverhayley
    raverhayley Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    if that were me id have told her to shut her trap and keep her massive nose out of my business!
  • JuneBPrice
    JuneBPrice Posts: 294
    Options
    What a psycho =/ I would say you handled yourself well, you can't really argue with a drunk person.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Options
    So yesterday, I took my children to the beach for an afternoon and evening of fun. Before going, my friend and I, who was also bringing her kids, bought lots of snacks for our children including fruit, different types of crackers (animal, cheez itz, crackers w/cheese, peanut butter crackers) and also some fig newtons. We had an entire basket full and have a small cooler full. Snacking for 9 children. Well when I swim I also like one particular snack, Funyuns. I bought this snack for myself as I too love swimming and I get very hungry when I swim. So I let myself indulge on this snack. The kids know that this snack is mine to have as a mom should be able to have something that is just hers occassionally too, but of course my children always want what I have too. Which is fine, but if I say no, my kids don't care as they know they have everything else that I brought for them. Not to mention if you say yes to one, then all 9 want them too and pretty soon you no longer have a snack.

    So here is where we get to what happened! My son asked me for a funyun, I told him no that he could grab one of the other snacks. He said fine and grabbed something else. The lady next to us, started b!tching and saying my kids were starving and here I am just eating away and won't give them a funyun. Keep in mind that I had a total of 5 kids up by me, all of which were actually eating something. 1 of the kids wasn't even a part of our group as I was feeding other kids at the beach as well if they were hanging with my kids. She started saying things like "give up the bag", "quit eating while you're kids are starving", "fat b!tch" etc. I didn't take it all lying down as a few choice words came out of my mouth about her drunken state, the paperbox she was carrying around that had alcohol oozing from it. But what I really wanted to do was give her a good smackdown, but being a mom, I had to show my kids that violence is never an answer, but sometimes that really sucks. I told them that you can use words to stick up for yourself. Which is what they did, but instead they were sticking up for me with a few things they said to her. But I had to show them that sometimes people are just ignorant and you can't change ingnorance in people.

    The real issue she had was that I am overweight. You know what, I already know that. It wasn't her issue, so get the hell over it. The thing that ticks me off, is that she is so judgemental about overweight people that she thinks that is what we do. Sit around and eat all the time and apparently starve our children. She was up there all day, did she not see these kids coming up all day getting snacks?

    I wasn't up there thinking about her all day surrounded in beer cans, in fact she wasn't even on my radar or did I even notice her until she started running her mouth. I don't go places to sit and look and judge people. I go to places to have a fun, nice day with my children. I don't understand why people act that way. Like me being overweight has anything to do with anyone else. Are people so unhappy with their own lives that they have to try to belittle others to make themselves feel better? I just don't get it.

    What would you have done in the situation? I know I did the right thing for my children's sake. Sorry the post is so long, I just needed to vent about it.

    It doesn't matter if that's what she thinks overweight people do. He11, half the people here think that's all overweight people do. What matters is that a drunken mom does a lot more harm to her children than a fat mom, and you have every right to tell her so.
  • Spiritwarrior3000
    Spiritwarrior3000 Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    In that situation i would of just took the alcohol off her and give it to the kids lol jk in all fairness u did the right thing in that situation

Categories