Dear MFP: this one's for you.

Options
losinit_4_good
losinit_4_good Posts: 731 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today, I'm bummed out. A few weeks ago I crossed the threshold into onederland and then I immediately yo-yo-d back to 204. boo. Then this past week I overate. A lot. More than I care to admit. And I'm bloated as all hell. So today I stepped on the scale and saw that the number reflected another 5lbs gain. Which I know is mainly bloat. I can feel it in my hands, see it in my face and I tell you right now, my new size 10 skirt did NOT fit comfortably this morning! So I decided to pout. Because sometimes, a gal just needs to let herself feel what she feels right?

So, I'm sitting around, pouting, when it occurred to me that I have spent way too much time today thinking about all the bad decisions I've made in the past 13 months of this journey. "If I hadn't eaten this or that, if I'd done that extra workout think how far I'd have come!" I felt like a failure. That this effort, 13 months in the making, was destined to fail like all the diets and exercise plans that came before it. Like it was only a matter of time til I was back up to 261 or higher and hating myself.

And then it hit me, all those "bad" choices pale in comparison to all the GOOD ones. In 13 months, I've changed my life, changed my outlook and positively impacted the choices of many of my nearest and dearest who have followed my example (their words - not mine - not trying to take credit for anyone else's actions). I've made really positive strides in my life. I am now in a position where I can set an example for my young son and teach him healthy food habits from a young age (he's gonna be 2 in a few weeks and was my original inspiration when I started this journey last spring)

And yes, I've gained a few back from my lowest (like 4 lbs) and yes, I'm terribly bloated today. And yes, I kinda still feel like crap about myself. But I'm here. I'm trying. And I refuse to give up. And sometimes, that is enough.

So to all of you that sometimes feel like you aren't accomplishing enough, that it's not happening fast enough, that you maybe you've really had enough, I want to remind you that if you are here, reading this or any other note it's because you have enough fight left in you to keep going. Even when it's hard. Even when you feel like giving up. You are here. And for me, that is enough inspiration to keep me on the right path.

With that, I want to say thank you to all the lovely friends I've made here on MFP, people who I will most likely never meet face to face but truly care for me and my well being as I care for theirs, thank you to all the strangers that share their journey, thank you to all the newbies that come on here and reach out to anyone and everyone that may be able to help, thank you to all of you, for keeping me from giving up on myself :flowerforyou:
«13

Replies

  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    Options
    So, I'm sitting around, pouting, when it occurred to me that I have spent way too much time today thinking about all the bad decisions I've made in the past 13 months of this journey. "If I hadn't eaten this or that, if I'd done that extra workout think how far I'd have come!" I felt like a failure. That this effort, 13 months in the making, was destined to fail like all the diets and exercise plans that came before it. Like it was only a matter of time til I was back up to 261 or higher and hating myself.

    Add another 29 years and quite a few more pounds and you've pretty much got my story. Never let the past rob you of your future. Look back for reference, look forward for direction.

    In 6 pounds, I shall cross the threshold from "overweight" to "normal" for the first time since I was 12 years old. Most of my life has been spent vacillating between obese and morbidly obese.

    I'm well on the wrong side of 40 now, and torpedoed my own progress for way too many years because I only looked back to what I had lost being fat, and not forward to what I could gain by not being fat.

    Be patient and persevere. Don't rush the weight loss, because long experience has taught me that a shortcut is almost always the longest path to any worthwhile destination.

    Every ounce of me wants to rush that 6 pounds, and wants to regret every half-pound setback. I will be patient. I will lose this weight in a manner that allows me to keep it off.

    It's been thirty years. What's another month or two?
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    I really needed to hear this today- thanks for sharing :)
  • jordanreddick
    jordanreddick Posts: 197 Member
    Options
    So awesome for you! I'm glad you were able to come to this realization on your own rather than never having the light bulb pop up over your head. Celebrate the good, never dwell in the mistakes. Mistakes are made to be learned from.
  • alumpoflard
    alumpoflard Posts: 95 Member
    Options
    This is so well written, you are exactly right, as long as we are here, logging in, we are on the right track. I have friends from all over the world who I'll never meet, some of them I don't even know what they look like, nor they me. But how can I let myself down, knowing I am letting them down too? I can't, so thanks to them I will reach my goals and I hope that I offer them the support to reach theirs too.

    Well done on your fantastic loss so far, and also on your great attitude :flowerforyou:
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
    Options
    Cheers to you and your success! Not just the weight loss but the change you've made in yourself! Thank you for writing this.
  • twiglips
    twiglips Posts: 136 Member
    Options
    Yes, thank you for sharing this. I know many of us feel this way sometimes, especially after a holiday!
  • Daydreams406
    Daydreams406 Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    Such a great post, and just what I needed to read. Thank you!
  • Mariaisgettingfit
    Mariaisgettingfit Posts: 22
    Options
    This was a wonderful read! Congratulations on teaching yourself to have such a great outlook on life, I admire you :)
  • raindance_maggie
    raindance_maggie Posts: 150
    Options
    thanks so much for this!
  • MadeInDR022
    MadeInDR022 Posts: 260
    Options
    And thank YOU for writing this!
  • TazzytheMotivator
    TazzytheMotivator Posts: 646 Member
    Options
    You are in this to win it. Hang in there:smile:
  • ShelfRelianceMom
    ShelfRelianceMom Posts: 83
    Options
    Well said everyone. Wow!
  • ritalef
    ritalef Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    Congrats on getting it!!! And for sharing! Your thoughts are the same as many of us, who didn't 'get it' until much later and
    after many struggles. You're on the right track and for the right reason, your little one. You'll be a great example!
  • losinit_4_good
    losinit_4_good Posts: 731 Member
    Options
    Thanks for taking the time to read it! I'm always hesitant to post much on here but it's great to know that I'm not the only one that has these moments.
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
    Options
    Thanks dear!!! All part of the journey!
  • cardozm
    cardozm Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    i refuse to give up... woo hoo !! we got this ...
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
    Options
    I teared up. I'm on a pout day too. My IBS is ruining my daily life with fatigue, malnutrition, and stress. That means needing more food and unable to muster a workout. The constant cycle of stress just keeps the pain going. I really needed this today, and I want to thank you. :heart:
  • renubhat_82
    renubhat_82 Posts: 549 Member
    Options
    Lynda,

    I just had a thought when I was reading your post.. Its nice to read your post as always.. When the US financial crisis started, all the bad assets were dumped into bad bank and all the good assets into good bank.. Likewise, have all your negative thoughts dumped in that bad bank and bury it underground and have all the positive thoughts in good bank and carry with you life long.. Love you dear.. :-))
  • lkplibra
    lkplibra Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    Thank you for sharing! You are awesome and I'm so proud of you.
  • NewLife_11
    NewLife_11 Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    Your amazing, and I am proud to call you my friend! Always encouraging and inspiring, I am so proud of all that you have achieved and so excited to see what is yet to come.

Categories